An Interesting dilemma that I don't remember ever being posted.

[stephaniec]

I always admire people who have love in their life. And go lightly on the  tequila .

[Cindy]

An update.

Well the reunion has been and gone.

I decided to wear the same dress as in my avatar. Rebecca was wearing her finest and the carers did her hair in a 'fish-tail' style and put her makeup on. I bought her a small bottle of Dior 'Poison' perfume as a little gift, and off we went.

The reactions were quite priceless. The people who had visited her were so friendly and chatty, other said hello in a nervous way. For others it was confronting for them and they had an odd mixture of shame, annoyance, and
'Oh wondered what had happened to you?'

I introduced myself as Cindy, her partner. One person asked what had happened to her partner Peter? I just said he went away and I'm here now.

I ordered her food, a beef schnitzel, and asked if the chef could cut it into mouth size pieces. The waitress asked if I wanted a meal and I said no I would be assisting my wife to eat. She was a young girl and looked quizzingly at me.
I paid and a few minutes later she came back to me and said chef asked if you would accept your wife's meal as a gift from the restaurant and refunded the money (I had an allergic reaction and my eyes started to water

I had one comment from another woman, who said to me 'You make a really good woman, if I didn't know you were a bloke I would never who have known'. I thought about tearing her a new a*hole but for the sake of my wife, and a shocked look on another person's face who overheard it, I decided to be kind.

I just smiled and said. 'For a person who worked in mental health I'm glad you have retired; you must have been a sad failure.'

She avoided me like the plague after that. Not sure why

Over all it went well. My wife was happy. She had faced her demons; I was happy, I realised yet again I have no longer have any demons.

And most of all, the staff of a restaurant reached out in kindness, when they had no reason to.

[Lynne]

Cindy, that's wonderful! Something most have went in my eye...

[Athena]

Glad to hear things went well

[JoanneB]

On the plus side, her old colleagues will not be asking the same endless questions I am sure she is getting tired over about her accident and health.

Though not at the same  level as yours, my wife cannot sit or stand for any length of time. She can go from feeling OK'ish to excruciating pain in no time without warning. It's been a difficult fact of life that often we just need to cut things short and leave. Pills and her Tens unit can only work so well.

I don't see her wanting to go in the light of looking for closure. I see it more as a brief journey back in time to a different era of her life. A time when I am sure she was far happier and so much more to look forward to. Perhaps even a much needed boost for her will to survive. I think the shared hopes, wishes and dreams my wife and I had help a lot in keeping her alive. Staying alive is not exactly a priority for her most days. But we still have dreams for the future.

You two have the option of leaving the event at any time. Sure, getting ready and getting there is a hassle. But.... Leaving is the easy part. I am sure you'll have no problem with going or being there. However, if things do become uncomfortable for your wife, I can see her playing the "I think I pushed myself too much" card and asking to leave.

So, if she wants to go, go. Have some fun. Relive some memories. Have a good cry later on your way back home after dropping her off.

[synesthetic]

I'm glad it went well! (and by the way, your wife sounds like such a sweet/lovely person! you two are lucky to have one another)

"For a person who worked in mental health I'm glad you have retired; you must have been a sad failure."
I almost spit out my drink laughing. AMAZING.