Guy friends, Expectations ect.... Rant

[Brandon]

I guess I have alot on my mind, I mean having guy friends feels great, Were we can talk about guy stuff like sports damcing and girls, and all but..... I feel like a looser I mean mostly because well for one Ive never had a girlfriend and the either they have had girlfriends, Or have one, Even being a virgin I mean as a guy your looked down by all your male friends if you haven't gotten that far,  Not to be a jerk it's a ego booster and right know mine is low, Everyone pretty much thinks I have had lots girlfriends and that I'm not a virgin just because its what they think, When I haven't even had a serious kiss from a girl yet and everyone expects that I have had even my friends, I get sick of being single sometimes, I'm glad that other people are happy and in their rellationships but I always question when imma get mine no matter how hard I try not to think about it, It still sucks and I still have to here about it, I still feel like I'm gonna be alone no matter how hard I try to say I won't I'm just lying to myself because I don't believe it, I really feel like a real looser because my boys don't even know, Idk Its just been on my mind and Its making me upset

[KamTheMan]

Don't even sweat it homie. I've only slept with one girl, my first and only girlfriend. I was 19, now I'm 25. I'm having a crazy long dry spell, but I'm not discouraged. I've been in such a whack place mentally and the body I have I definitely don't want so getting intimate with a girl isn't something I'm looking to do right now. I'd have to stay fully clothed, so I'm just relaxing til I can finally get on T and move towards top surgery. Sex with my ex was good but I was always in my head, thinking about my parts, and this was before I even started questioning my gender. I know it's gonna be amazing when I can finally just be in the moment, so I'm being patient.

[chuck]

Eh
I think you're (you are) feeling what most guys feel at your age. It's totally normal to feel like you're missing out because you haven't bedded a girl. If it makes you feel any better I didn't have seriously sexual experience until I was 17. At this point I have been with quite a few women and coming from that perspective I can tell you it is absolutely not about how many, but rather the emotions. It is sooo much more satisfying when you are with someone you care about, so I my advice is to just hang tight and try to find someone who you have feelings for. And you wont be alone unless that is what you want. You are just young and your pool of sexually active people is probably a bit smaller than it will be when you get older. Just know that you are not alone, also I think having a steady girlfriend is overrated.

[AlexW]

I don't know if it is a culture thing, but none of my friends had serious girlfriends until they were nearly 20. I didn't have one until I was 22, which is also when I lost my virginity. I have no idea when my friends lost their virginity, because here that is a private subject and you are looked down on if you share it around. Like chuck said, it is much more satisfying with someone you really care about and trust. Don't worry about it, It'll happen when it happens.

[yaka]

I didn't have sexual experience at your age either, and most highschool relationships don't last anyway. Relationships and sex get better as you age. I would just focus on enjoying school and don't get bogged down by living up to certain expectations.
Bear in mind, guys like to lie, especially about their sexual experience (saying more than the reality).

[Brandon]

Guys I already know it's better with someone you love, It's still not gonna change these feelings and besides I just really want a girlfriend, But I don't think is interested in me in that way, And I can't talk to girls or let them know how I feel like a bio guy would, I just don't like being single

[rexyrex]

Dont sweat it man, i have not had a girlfriend either, and trust me even cis guys have troble chating up to girls too.

[Darrin Scott]

I haven't had a serious relationship until I was 26 and didn't loose my virginity until then either. Not everyone looses their virginity in high school and I wonder if some of what these guys are saying is made up to make them look cooler. Most people don't have serious relationships until their in their mid-late 20's or later, anyway.

[Brandon]

I haven't had a serious relationship until I was 26 and didn't loose my virginity until then either. Not everyone looses their virginity in high school and I wonder if some of what these guys are saying is made up to make them look cooler. Most people don't have serious relationships until their in their mid-late 20's or later, anyway.

No its just a guy thing in highschool maybe its just the African American community or because sex sells, Most guys have lost their virginity, Most girls just give it out with out a care, These kids don't care, They don't say it to lool good its because know adays its true, Most of my bio male friends have had gfs and or had sex

[AdamMLP]

I can only echo what everyone else has said, because they're right, sex really isn't that important, and plenty of people don't have until they're older.  When you haven't had sex it's a big deal, but when you have you begin to realise that it isn't such a big deal.  I haven't seen my girlfriend for a month, and trust me, what I want first and foremost is a hug.  That doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it, or have any libido because I do, only that it's not the biggest part of a relationship.

When I was your age only about a fifth, maybe less, of my year had had sex.  I know several people here who haven't had sex and they're just the ones who are open about it, no one gives a flying monkey's when you get older and more mature.

Regardless, you will get laid one day, and you will get a girlfriend.  Being trans doesn't mean that you're going to be a virgin and a bachelor your entire life (source: numerous people happy in their relationships on this forum).

No its just a guy thing in highschool maybe its just the African American community or because sex sells, Most guys have lost their virginity, Most girls just give it out with out a care, These kids don't care, They don't say it to lool good its because know adays its true, Most of my bio male friends have had gfs and or had sex

And that's something you want to be a part of?

[Brandon]

I can only echo what everyone else has said, because they're right, sex really isn't that important, and plenty of people don't have until they're older.  When you haven't had sex it's a big deal, but when you have you begin to realise that it isn't such a big deal.  I haven't seen my girlfriend for a month, and trust me, what I want first and foremost is a hug.  That doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it, or have any libido because I do, only that it's not the biggest part of a relationship.

When I was your age only about a fifth, maybe less, of my year had had sex.  I know several people here who haven't had sex and they're just the ones who are open about it, no one gives a flying monkey's when you get older and more mature.

Regardless, you will get laid one day, and you will get a girlfriend.  Being trans doesn't mean that you're going to be a virgin and a bachelor your entire life (source: numerous people happy in their relationships on this forum).

And that's something you want to be a part of?

I did't say that it's an ego thing I guess I don't know about you guys but it doesn't feel good when its low, Like today me an my boys were talking and some how ended up playing whose a virgin and whose not, Everyone one thinks I get some from girls, Again not to be a jerk it's really a ego thing and that's with all guys, And everyone thinking Ive had gfs I wish I talk to girls or say I dated so and so, Even my dad had gfs in highschool, Everyone tells me not to worry about girls or wait till your older when have the people who tell me that are in a relationship or talk to people that leaves a huge effect on me

[musicofthenight]

So you're young and relationships aren't "serious," but that doesn't make them any less real.  (*glares at grown-ups*)  If you feel that way, the only thing to do is ask yourself is simple: how can I make some young lady's world a little brighter while it lasts?  And are you really going to let your fears keep you from doing that?

Sex gets enshrined and abused way too much - you're right if you've noticed and been repulsed by that.  In truth, it's nothing more than a very pleasant way to pass time with someone you love.  It's not anything less either, I mean, is there anything better than being with someone you love? 

I'll not repeat the whole health spiel about safety for your bodies - be gentle with her emotions and with yours.  I honestly feel that bragging is beneath a true gentleman.  He never tells without his lady's leave, and what you've been hearing is nothing but a bunch of dumb boys telling stories in a penis-waving contest.

You seem a lot more mature than that, caring and strong

Pursue a girl for your benefit and for hers.  The rest of the world can go take a hike, m'kay?

[chuck]

I did't say that it's an ego thing I guess I don't know about you guys but it doesn't feel good when its low, Like today me an my boys were talking and some how ended up playing whose a virgin and whose not, Everyone one thinks I get some from girls, Again not to be a jerk it's really a ego thing and that's with all guys, And everyone thinking Ive had gfs I wish I talk to girls or say I dated so and so, Even my dad had gfs in highschool, Everyone tells me not to worry about girls or wait till your older when have the people who tell me that are in a relationship or talk to people that leaves a huge effect on me

Dude - you need to read your posts before you send them out. I feel like the frickin' Gandalf of decryption when I read your stuff.

I also completely disagree that its an ego thing with ALL guys. Yes- it's an ego thing with some guys, but not all. I do sympathize with you that it's tough to deal with. Another suggestion is to completely OWN being a virgin. When you own something (whether it's being short, bald, overweight, skinny, pooor et) it is inherently more difficult for others to poke fun at it.

[randomdude5]

Lol! I'm sorry, but the Gandalf of decryption thing was very good. Haha.

Now about the main topic here... You remind me so much of some kid I know. I hope this post doesn't offend you, I just want you to realise something ok...

This guy I know... This is pretty much all he cares about. Who has a GF, who doesn't... Whether or not HE himself has a GF... Always going on talking about sex like "I just wanna bang that girl!" talking about a different girl every couple of months... He thinks it makes him look cool... He also does drugs... Started at a young age... He thinks this makes him look or sound cool also... I can only give my opinion, but I am sure many would agree... This friend of mine is my most annoying friend, the one I dislike talking to the most, because he tries too hard, and you can tell... Very easily...

I am going to say the same thing I said to him a while ago... Sex isn't just a "LET'S HAVE SEX!" thing. A lot of girls want it to "mean" something, you'll notice. As you get older and more mature you will learn, and realise this. There are also so many things that are much more important in life. I am not sure how old you are, but you sound relatively young... I think you mentioned you were in high school... High school isn't the time to be going around having sex with a bunch of girls. You should focus on your studies, get good grades, so that you can go to university, (or college?) and not be stuck with a horrible job.

Also, what others have said is right. Guys at that age lie about stuff like that. They are most likely not telling the complete truth.

[Brandon]

Dude - you need to read your posts before you send them out. I feel like the frickin' Gandalf of decryption when I read your stuff.

I also completely disagree that its an ego thing with ALL guys. Yes- it's an ego thing with some guys, but not all. I do sympathize with you that it's tough to deal with. Another suggestion is to completely OWN being a virgin. When you own something (whether it's being short, bald, overweight, skinny, pooor et) it is inherently more difficult for others to poke fun at it.

Uh I am on my phone

[Brandon]

Lol! I'm sorry, but the Gandalf of decryption thing was very good. Haha.

Now about the main topic here... You remind me so much of some kid I know. I hope this post doesn't offend you, I just want you to realise something ok...

This guy I know... This is pretty much all he cares about. Who has a GF, who doesn't... Whether or not HE himself has a GF... Always going on talking about sex like "I just wanna bang that girl!" talking about a different girl every couple of months... He thinks it makes him look cool... He also does drugs... Started at a young age... He thinks this makes him look or sound cool also... I can only give my opinion, but I am sure many would agree... This friend of mine is my most annoying friend, the one I dislike talking to the most, because he tries too hard, and you can tell... Very easily...

I am going to say the same thing I said to him a while ago... Sex isn't just a "LET'S HAVE SEX!" thing. A lot of girls want it to "mean" something, you'll notice. As you get older and more mature you will learn, and realise this. There are also so many things that are much more important in life. I am not sure how old you are, but you sound relatively young... I think you mentioned you were in high school... High school isn't the time to be going around having sex with a bunch of girls. You should focus on your studies, get good grades, so that you can go to university, (or college?) and not be stuck with a horrible job.

Also, what others have said is right. Guys at that age lie about stuff like that. They are most likely not telling the complete truth.

Dude first I'm about to graduate soon, And I'm not a little man hoe, I am a gentlemen and I already know everything you just said, I'm not dumb I know what women want I know it's best to do it with someone you love, Just because I'm in highschool doesn't mean its not gonna bother me I mean come on lets get serious I haven't even had a serious kiss from a girl, Who wouldn't feel pressured to do any of tha when that's really all kids talk about know adays I can't just stop being upset with this, honestly I'm sick of people using my age and being in highschool as an excuse o not date or have sex I'm more mature than you think, And no I wouldn't go around telling everyone that I scored I'm not like that I know how to treat women Bro

[Joe.]

Brandon, I'm almost 19 and I've never had a girlfriend or proper boyfriend for that matter. I have never kissed anybody ever. Yes it sucks and I understand what it can do to your self esteem. Being a virgin isn't all bad. I'd rather be a virgin than hand myself out on a plate.

[Brandon]

So you're young and relationships aren't "serious," but that doesn't make them any less real.  (*glares at grown-ups*)  If you feel that way, the only thing to do is ask yourself is simple: how can I make some young lady's world a little brighter while it lasts?  And are you really going to let your fears keep you from doing that?

Sex gets enshrined and abused way too much - you're right if you've noticed and been repulsed by that.  In truth, it's nothing more than a very pleasant way to pass time with someone you love.  It's not anything less either, I mean, is there anything better than being with someone you love? 

I'll not repeat the whole health spiel about safety for your bodies - be gentle with her emotions and with yours.  I honestly feel that bragging is beneath a true gentleman.  He never tells without his lady's leave, and what you've been hearing is nothing but a bunch of dumb boys telling stories in a penis-waving contest.

You seem a lot more mature than that, caring and strong

Pursue a girl for your benefit and for hers.  The rest of the world can go take a hike, m'kay?

Im not saying It's impossible it's just harder, She first has to see me as Brandon male

[randomdude5]

You did not totally get what I was saying. I did not call you a man hoe. I said my friend kind of was one. Yes I said you reminded me of him because it kind of started like that. Peer pressure. Now he has turned like that. I wouldn't want you to go down the same road. I also did not say don't have sex because you are in high school. I si.ply said that should defi itely not be a main priority for you right now. On the maturity thing though... Most young people think they are more mature than they actually are. Not saying you are imature... But there is a certain maturity that comes from age and experience... That last part would actually probably be good advice for myself as well. Haha..

I am sorry if my last post got you a little worked up as it seems it might have..

[wheat thins are delicious]

How many of your friends do you think are being 100% honest about everything they've done?  I'd say they aren't telling the whole truth and are probably embellishing what really happened with those girls.