I started wearing men's clothes, nobody noticed.

[Nikotinic]

I started a couple of weeks ago on casual days with men's jeans and a hoodie, then escalated to men's shirts and ties during the week. I even went to our Christmas function in a shirt, tie and waistcoat, cut in a masculine style to hide curves.  I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting to happen but I guess I felt like something would change. As far as I can tell my colleagues haven't noticed at all. I know I wasn't particularly girly before but come on, really?

It's kind of disappointing and kind of a relief at the same time. On one hand, it makes me feel like I can comfortably start presenting as more male without worrying about people's reactions, but on the other, it makes me wonder whether I'm just still too obviously a girl.

Did other people experience this too when they first started to present as guys in public?

[fightlikeoctopus]

Hi Nikotinic!

I'm actually going through this right now. I started grad school this fall, so new city, new school, new job. And up until a couple of weeks ago I was dressing and presenting as my usual gender fluid self - not particularly feminine, but never explicitly masculine. But last week I went out and bought some men's clothes and have been slowly (and nervously) starting to wear them to work/class/etc. And the reactions? A couple of my colleagues commented on how I was "dressed to the nines" in a men's dress shirt and vest, but on the whole people just accepted it for what it was and went on with their lives.

It was a relief, but as you said, it did make me wonder whether my curves were betraying me as still obviously female.

Congrats on going public with your masculine presentation! It's a big step, and maybe some of your colleagues are curious about it but don't want to be rude for asking. I hope some others here will be able to give a better answer to your question!

[Cindy]

Hi Guys,

Just a comment, obviously I'm going the other direction but after I went FT, I presented in skirts and blouses etc. A week later people asked me why.

Mmmm

They then said, great OK.

[maximusloverus]

I think what it may be is the whole not wanting to be rude thing. Everybody hates awkward conversations. Another thing could be that they think your wearing the clothes to be more comfortable or to try a new style. Lastly they might just not be paying much attention. I know I don't really pay much attention to detail. It took me working here at my job a good two months to notice that my boss had tattoos!! lol So don't sweat it the questions will come now is your time to figure out what your answer will be to those questions.

[wheat thins are delicious]

I started a couple of weeks ago on casual days with men's jeans and a hoodie, then escalated to men's shirts and ties during the week. I even went to our Christmas function in a shirt, tie and waistcoat, cut in a masculine style to hide curves.  I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting to happen but I guess I felt like something would change. As far as I can tell my colleagues haven't noticed at all. I know I wasn't particularly girly before but come on, really?

It's kind of disappointing and kind of a relief at the same time. On one hand, it makes me feel like I can comfortably start presenting as more male without worrying about people's reactions, but on the other, it makes me wonder whether I'm just still too obviously a girl.

Did other people experience this too when they first started to present as guys in public?

They probably don't say anything because it's no big deal in our society for someone who appears female to wear men's clothes.  You are probably assumed to be trying a new style, as someone else said, or it's no big deal because you haven't been girly in the past.

[aleon515]

The rude thing, not sure that's it. I am older than a lot of you, but it doesn't matter. I went from very androgynous (girl's jeans, etc) to guy's clothes and no one but no one noticed. One friend of mine noticed and said she thought it "suited me", but I just think no one really cares that much. Doesn't bother me as I don't care either.

Cindy's experience is a bit different. I believe society doesn't like when who they perceive as men going female. But I think they maybe didn't know what to say or something. Of course, I don't really know.

--Jay

[Adam (birkin)]

I found much the same thing when I started wearing men's clothes. I was really scared that people would think I was a pervert (I grew up in a really religious home), or that they'd figure out I was trans. But actually, I had much the same experience that you did - I showed up at my grandma's with a guy's haircut and men's clothes and she's like "Oh! Cool new style!" Lol. She had a much different tone when she heard the reasons why.

I would look at the positive side of all this. You get to wear what makes you happy without causing too much kerfuffle, giving you time to plan coming out and possibly seeking physical transition.

[Nikotinic]

It's good to know that I'm not the only person who this happened to.

I don't think it's the 'don't want to be rude' thing. If it were that then I would expect people to maybe be more awkward around me or something. I haven't noticed people reacting to me any differently.

I guess you're all right - it's just that dressing in a masculine style isn't seen as that unusual for girls. I'm not out to my mum but I was telling her the other day about my outfit for the xmas party, she just thought it was funny.

I've ordered my first binder and should receive it sometime this month. Will be interesting to see if I still get no reactions when my boobs disappear.

[Jeatyn]

To be honest, for me, though I always had long hair and wore makeup I never dressed girly. I still wore womens clothes, but just jeans and t-shirts and stuff. Nobody batted an eyelid when I started wearing stuff from the mens section. Like others have said, it's no big deal for a woman to wear male clothes. My family were more (pleasantly) surprised on the occasions I did actually throw on something a bit girly.

Shaving all my hair off was a big shock for everyone though I came out shortly after

[Bimmer Guy]

Yes, I agree that it is about it just not being a big deal for women to wear men's clothes. 

[aleon515]

Yes, I agree that it is about it just not being a big deal for women to wear men's clothes.

I changed my presentation radically at work. By the end of the year, the kids did notice. My own kids didn't care, but the kids in other classes sometimes used anti-gay slurs. (I didn't necessarily know who the kids were.) But the staff seemed to not notice in the slightest. BTW, I think this is why it is so hard to be read as male early on. I think that one just gets read as a butch lesbian.


--Jay

[Shaina]

I went out with my friend Willow dressed as a man with the suit, dress shirt, tie etc. for a Drag charity event.
No one batted an eyelash, except a few girls that hit on me. Perhaps they thought I was gay? In any case, I agree with the other posters.

[Jared]

Last semester I started dressing in man clothes at college but no one noticed at least, no one was surprised or said anything about it. It wasn't a big change for me as I never dressed girly, but still it was a bit annoying that no one seemed to notice the guy in me.

[Nikotinic]

*Update - so someone finally said something about my clothes. Turns out people just think I've been dressing "more conservatively" because I haven't been wearing things that show off my chest and because I cut off my Mohawk.

I hadn't really thought about it that way so it was kind of a surprise to hear, though I guess I can see where they are coming from. Two people then started trying to convince me to dress more crazily again (I have a unique sense of style at the best of times) and suggesting I bleach my hair or something similar (not a bad idea).

I think in trying do dress generically male I lost my own style without noticing it. I'll have to invest in some more bright colours and patterns to compensate I think.

[Jeatyn]

*Update - so someone finally said something about my clothes. Turns out people just think I've been dressing "more conservatively" because I haven't been wearing things that show off my chest and because I cut off my Mohawk.

I hadn't really thought about it that way so it was kind of a surprise to hear, though I guess I can see where they are coming from. Two people then started trying to convince me to dress more crazily again (I have a unique sense of style at the best of times) and suggesting I bleach my hair or something similar (not a bad idea).

I think in trying do dress generically male I lost my own style without noticing it. I'll have to invest in some more bright colours and patterns to compensate I think.

I still struggle with this problem to this day! In an ideal world I would love to dress in bright coloured skinny jeans and have crazy hair and whatnot, but at the moment I have to dress in a way that helps me pass. Which means having my hair at just the right length, wearing very specific styles of clothing that hide my hips etc etc.

I had comments from my family that were basically along the lines of - I must be so much happier now because I'm not trying to "attention seek" or "rebel" as much any more. And while I know this is supposed to be a compliment from them - that was never my intention with my unique style and quirks, I just am who I am and happen to like dressing like a "freak" xD

The longer I'm on T the more I can get away with adding back in my style and growing my hair a little longer but my body still has a long way to go before I can still pass flawlessly while wearing skinny jeans and rocking a pony tail 

[sneakersjay]

I used to present very feminine at work. Long hair, earrings, makeup, etc.  Then I cut my hair and started wearing men's clothes including tee shirts under my shirts, belts, men's shoes, etc. Nobody said a word.  TBH I did cut my hair in several stages, first to shoulder length, then a bit shorter, before finally going short. Nobody said anything.  I also had stopped with the makeup and jewelry.

When I finally came out, I told the manager I thought it was obvious and she said no, they just thought I was dressing more comfortably.  Shrug.

It turned out to be a non-issue, but yeah, nobody said anything at all. And then during that time they hired 2 new people who happened to be lesbians who didn't know my history (and I was not yet out at work) and both of them were all over me.  But I'm a gay man and they couldn't figure out why a straight woman was so butch!  LOL


Jay

[Jace]

The only person who ever said anything to me was my mom. She was pretty direct too, haha. She went "You don't want to be a boy do you?" and I'm still not out so I had to reassure her that I just liked dressing masculine.

Now because I've been dressing masculine so long people think it's weird when I wear feminine things despite being pretty feminine last year. I wore a dress to school and everyone kept asking me why and exclaiming about it. It was so weird.

[BrotherBen]

I bet some of the ladies here would kill to have this problem.

[Nikotinic]

BrotherBen - I was thinking that too when I first posted. When male bodied people wear women's clothes it's pretty obvious so it would be difficult for the trans gals to wear feminine things without getting pulled up on it, whereas it seems like a lot of ftms can be dressed in 100% male clothes and nobody realises.

[Antagonist]

We live in a society where a woman can wear men's clothing and it's seen as acceptable, but a man wearing women's clothing is seen as unacceptable. It was likely noticed, just not shocking enough to comment on. I wear exclusively male clothes and the only time anyone says anything is if it's a shirt with a game or movie logo and they like the game or movie. It can be a little disheartening when you're just seen as a girl no matter how you dress.