Quote from: paprikademe on December 07, 2013, 09:42:29 AM
On the up side, I get to be the dominant one in the relationship - this can be a little difficult when Rose is 6 foot and I'm 5 foot(!!) but it really is fun..and feels right too.
^this is how my girlfriend and i are, even the height difference. she tells me she loves being the dominant one and it feels right to her
Quote from: paprikademe on December 07, 2013, 09:42:29 AM
Can I ask: Do you think that even if Rose is happy now..that she will eventually want more? In terms of wanting to change sex I mean.
^well, i knew since i was a little kid, as soon as i found out it was possible, that i wanted to change. i buried this realization deep down thinking it would never happen. at the time i was still a kid and parents, other kids and society seem really big at that point in life. last year, at age 25, i had the opportunity to travel around africa for 3 months, living in rural villages helping peace corps volunteers farm with their host family's. that trip made me realize that life is short, it is beautiful, and it is a gift that must be used to it's full extent. i had been living in fear of rejection, and was just going through the motions of living, i was drinking and smoking ALOT of cannabis as a way to numb any feelings. it was not good, it was not pretty, i was wasting my life.
the years before this trip, i had already graduated college, paid it off, and been working full time for years. this is going to sound sad, but i have noticed that as you grow older, you grow away from everyone else. i mentioned it in the last post a little. my parents, for example, my dad is retired and leaves the house for groceries, my mom is almost and leaves the house for groceries, church, and quilting class at the rec center. not much going on. it is like society and parents and all the scary stuff shrinks the older you get. in my case, all i ever did was go to work, go home, get inebriated and repeat. i forgot to mention, my girlfriend at that time, she was doing peace corps in africa, we broke up after the trip, 5 years. it killed me. i had not told her about my gender stuff, as i was afraid she would reject me.
i feel i'm starting to drift. the point i was going to get at was, after seeing everything over there, coming back and starting a new life, i was going to live it the right way, without compromise. it is possible your girlfriend already knows she wants to transition. she could still be happy with her current situation yet down the road want to go forward with what she's known her whole life, as i am doing now.
it really depends on her though. transgender is a big umbrella term for many types of people. she could just want to be a woman some of the time, or perhaps just changing her presentation a little will be enough for her to feel right.
but if she were to want to transition in the future, well here in the u.s. we don't have to do real life experience, RLE, to get hormones. so it would be possible for her to start on a low dose hormone regime and keep presenting male when around family etc, and the changes happen slowly over time. i am essentially doing that. you might find that as you both grow older in the next few years, that the pressures from family or society will shrink. that is how it happened for me. graduating college was the last thing on the parent's checklist, so once i got that done, i figured i could start living my life for myself and not them. growing up, i never saw m parents' "faults," but as i grew into an adult, i was able to see them as equals. i could see where my mother had deep issues with her father, who was abusive and died about 20 years ago. he still haunted her, as well as her mother. my mom had tons of ideas internalized from her mom, and she hardly realized it. i could see that if i kept living how i was, i would end up like my mother, a big ball of nerves. seeing her in this way didn't make me lose respect for her, it made me love her more and understand her more. we are much closer now, and we became much closer after i told her everything.
going back to your girlfriend, it is possible she will want to transition in the future, but it is also possible she will be happy with things how they are as well. take our time, and if she does transition, you don't have to tell anyone, they can find out after a year or two if she takes it slowly. if she's anything like me, she's a fragile flower full of light and love that has been hidden away for so long, who is sooo happy that she found someone that she can be honest and share everything with. since you two have such a great relationship, take advantage of the open communication. if she eventually wants to transition, make her able to tell you this. be open to it, and if she decides that is what she wants to do, support her like you said. if down the road you decide that you don't want to be a couple any longer, remember the fragility. from what i hear, it sounds like you will stay with her if she decides to transition. the power of the love between you two is much stronger than the power of the fear between you and parents or society. let love win
if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to private message me, or find me on the chats as jojoglowe. my girlfriend doesn't have an account, but if you ever want to ask her anything, or talk with her i'm sure she would love to. i wish you both the best!
