Guy friends, Expectations ect.... Rant

[Brandon]

I don't see you getting the point Brandon, we're trying to suggest things for you so that you don't have to think of them yourself. Certainly, not everything we say will work for you and we don't expect it to, but you put down every suggestion. You have to find your own ways because you're not listening. The point of support boards like this is so you don't have to do things by yourself.

Yea I am, And yes I am listening, I didn't put down anything you don know how my family works at all, And yea its a forumthe only thing you can do is support, Yaw keep getting off topic

[chuck]

Yea I am, And yes I am listening, I didn't put down anything you don know how my family works at all, And yea its a forumthe only thing you can do is support, Yaw keep getting off topic

I would like to repeat my earlier question. What does "support" mean to you, Brandon? If we knew specifically how to help, I think we would all try. Not because youre special, but because that's why we are all here. No matter how bratty, rude, disrespectful, arrogant or entitled a person behaves, most of us want to help this journey be just a little less soul destroying. Frankly, as a guy who is 100 percent finished asking trans related question, the only reason I am on this forum is to offer advice.  So I would like to know what it is you need or expect. Be specific. Take your time. Cite examples.

[Brandon]

I would like to repeat my earlier question. What does "support" mean to you, Brandon? If we knew specifically how to help, I think we would all try. Not because youre special, but because that's why we are all here. No matter how bratty, rude, disrespectful, arrogant or entitled a person behaves, most of us want to help this journey be just a little less soul destroying. Frankly, as a guy who is 100 percent finished asking trans related question, the only reason I am on this forum is to offer advice.  So I would like to know what it is you need or expect. Be specific. Take your time. Cite examples.

That's just it give advice don't get mad when It doesn't work and wine about me not listening I listen to everyone and it's quite annoying considering no one cares about what Brandon has to say and I'm speaking in general, I can't express myself at all in my house, And again quit getting off topic

[Brandon]

I don't think you want advice.  You want a miracle.  Unfortunately none of us can give you that.  And you happen to come across as very rude when responding to others advice.  Everyone here wants to help you.  But when we can't and get the kind of response you give, it really makes people think twice about giving you advice again.  At least that's how I see it.  Oh and can you please leave out the replies telling people to stay on topic, you are not a moderator, if you feel someone's post is inappropriate, probably best to report it.

I'm not being rude at all, Because I can't use the advice you give medoesn't work, doesn't mean get mad at me and call me rude,  you guys are getting off topic, You guys are always point fingers and is the first to call me rude and that I don't listen, You don't know my family theirfore I can' do all of what you tell you don't leave with me to know this, And this was a rant I wasn't really asking for advice it was optional

[Brandon]

People's advice doesn't have to work for you in order for you to show appreciation for it.

Did I ever say I didn't appreciate the advice you guys give? I don't think I did, I might have said it doesn't work or won't work but I never said I did not appreciate it

[thatboyfresh]

Yea I am, And yes I am listening, I didn't put down anything you don know how my family works at all, And yea its a forumthe only thing you can do is support, Yaw keep getting off topic

We don't know your specific family no but we all have families of our own to some extent. Some of us know what it is to not be accepted, to not be taken seriously, to be told we are wrong and going against God and much more.

My father down right disowned me and told me I wasn't welcome at his wedding. I haven't spoken to him in years. My cousin is MTF and they do nothing but ridicule her and laugh at her. I haven't seen my family including my mom, my brother, my one year old baby sister, my grandparents, aunts or uncles in years all because I am trans. So don't for a second think that none of us know what it's like.

[DriftingCrow]

 While I see everyone's concern I think after awhile we get to the point where  everyone else isn't getting it. If there's a history of someone not responding the way you'd like them to (sorry my comma key is broken) there's no reason for them to suddenly change.

Brandon's stated before that he feels ganged up on and above he said he felt like no one listens to him. Whether you think that's true or not doesn't matter because thats how he feels. Seeing the way a lot of people here respond once they start feeling exasperated  I know I'd probably feel the same way if I were him.

Brandon's been here for a few months now we should know hes not going to sudddnly drop down and say what great ad ice we give.

If you want to support him it'd be more supportive if people didn't keep getting in his face about something we all expect now.

[Devlyn]

I like two way streets, though. Just saying.

[Brandon]

We don't know your specific family no but we all have families of our own to some extent. Some of us know what it is to not be accepted, to not be taken seriously, to be told we are wrong and going against God and much more.

My father down right disowned me and told me I wasn't welcome at his wedding. I haven't spoken to him in years. My cousin is MTF and they do nothing but ridicule her and laugh at her. I haven't seen my family including my mom, my brother, my one year old baby sister, my grandparents, aunts or uncles in years all because I am trans. So don't for a second think that none of us know what it's like.

I didn't say everyone doesn't know what's like but when it comes to family and stufff, If you have support your not really gonna understand people who don't, Not everyone here has religious families or has been their, But this isn't what this topic was about anyways, Some people here got off topic

[chuck]

That's just it give advice don't get mad when It doesn't work and wine about me not listening I listen to everyone and it's quite annoying considering no one cares about what Brandon has to say and I'm speaking in general, I can't express myself at all in my house, And again quit getting off topic

Cool. So you want advice. Well no problem there. That's why I am here. My personal opinion of you doesn't really come into play as far as giving advice. So for me, I will continue to give you the best advice I can and ignore your attitude. I totally get where you are coming from, because I had a really bad attitude when I was younger. I was constantly defensive and rude because I took everything personally. I don't think that anything other than time and getting out into the real world made me grow up and understand how to treat others. You'll get it at some point. For me the major realization was this "if I am nice to others, they are nice to me" That is usually true, and when I realized it, it changed my life. Also, I wonder if its a part of being trans, sometimes we think that being a jerk makes us a man. Not so true. If you pay close attention to the way men interact, they may not be warm towards one another, but they are also not aggressive or rude from the start. Women (call me sexist if you want) seem to be more aggressive or catty with one another when they first meet.

Any way bottom line - youre  attitude is less than stellar. Instead of getting defensive, (and I know this hard) consider that maybe you have some work to do with your behavior. No it's not going to be easy, but part of being a man is recognizing when it's time to change and recognizing when other people are right. Think about this Brandon, why am I taking the time to write this response? Because I want to see your life get easier. People will stop "ganging up" on you if you reconsider your behavior. People who use drugs might feel angry and ganged up on when people who love them try to get them to stop using. Does this mean the ganging up is wrong? Nope. Even when somebody does something unjust to you, you have to learn to handle it like a gentleman. For example, see that little -1 under my user name? Remember how you gave me a negative rep point because I told you to gain weight if you want to play football? What did I do in return? Did I whine that you ganged up on me? Nah. It's your right to overreact to advice and for me to whine about getting negative rep points (like you did) would be immature and pointless. 

I will continue to offer advice to you despite your crappy attitude. Why? Because someday you will  grow up and the advice I give you will come in handy and hopefully your life will be a little easier than mine was. Not that you deserve it, but more that no one deserves to go through what I did.

[Brandon]

Cool. So you want advice. Well no problem there. That's why I am here. My personal opinion of you doesn't really come into play as far as giving advice. So for me, I will continue to give you the best advice I can and ignore your attitude. I totally get where you are coming from, because I had a really bad attitude when I was younger. I was constantly defensive and rude because I took everything personally. I don't think that anything other than time and getting out into the real world made me grow up and understand how to treat others. You'll get it at some point. For me the major realization was this "if I am nice to others, they are nice to me" That is usually true, and when I realized it, it changed my life. Also, I wonder if its a part of being trans, sometimes we think that being a jerk makes us a man. Not so true. If you pay close attention to the way men interact, they may not be warm towards one another, but they are also not aggressive or rude from the start. Women (call me sexist if you want) seem to be more aggressive or catty with one another when they first meet.

Any way bottom line - youre  attitude is less than stellar. Instead of getting defensive, (and I know this hard) consider that maybe you have some work to do with your behavior. No it's not going to be easy, but part of being a man is recognizing when it's time to change and recognizing when other people are right. Think about this Brandon, why am I taking the time to write this response? Because I want to see your life get easier. People will stop "ganging up" on you if you reconsider your behavior. People who use drugs might feel angry and ganged up on when people who love them try to get them to stop using. Does this mean the ganging up is wrong? Nope. Even when somebody does something unjust to you, you have to learn to handle it like a gentleman. For example, see that little -1 under my user name? Remember how you gave me a negative rep point because I told you to gain weight if you want to play football? What did I do in return? Did I whine that you ganged up on me? Nah. It's your right to overreact to advice and for me to whine about getting negative rep points (like you did) would be immature and pointless. 

I will continue to offer advice to you despite your crappy attitude. Why? Because someday you will  grow up and the advice I give you will come in handy and hopefully your life will be a little easier than mine was. Not that you deserve it, but more that no one deserves to go through what I did.

I don't have a bad attitude, And no it's not good to gang up on people because your really just pushing them away, Well Idk about the treat others how you want to be treated I treat people with respect all the time and still get treated like ->-bleeped-<- but its ok though, And you guys seem to forget this is the internet and that this is a forum where it might just seem like people coming off wrong, And no you don't need to gain weight to play football you should have said bulk up

[chuck]

I don't have a bad attitude, And no it's not good to gang up on people because your really just pushing them away, Well Idk about the treat others how you want to be treated I treat people with respect all the time and still get treated like ->-bleeped-<- but its ok though, And you guys seem to forget this is the internet and that this is a forum where it might just seem like people coming off wrong, And no you don't need to gain weight to play football you should have said bulk up

Is this real life?

[Brandon]

Is this real life?

What do you mean and why do we keep going on about this I asked a question on the third page and this is where it leads to and it never got answered because theirs always one person who feels upset because they feel like I'm not listening when again this was a rant it was optional unless I asked a question

[Alexthecat]

Brandon be trolling, this is the internet, go find somewhere else if you are going to continue to act like you currently are. Chuck is 100% right.

[Brandon]

Brandon be trolling, this is the internet, go find somewhere else if you are going to continue to act like you currently are. Chuck is 100% right.

Yea..... ok bro your I'm not a troll how about you leave me alone gosh

[DriftingCrow]

Brandon don't listen to him. You're welcome on the board.

[Jamie D]

This has become really disappointing.  How about everyone take a breather?

[Brandon]

This has become really disappointing.  How about everyone take a breather?

Sorry about that

[Brandon]

Brandon don't listen to him. You're welcome on the board.

I know

[Nero]

7. Leave moderation to the moderators! Susan and her staff are the only people who are authorized to deny anyone access to this web site including telling someone to leave, or to stop discussing a topic.  If someone wishes to discuss a subject that you are not interested in,  suggest a new subject; go to another of the many areas on this site; or ignore that person, topic, or discussion. If you feel a person's post violates the rules of this site use the report this post function.

No asking anyone to leave. This is Brandon's thread. If you no longer wish to discuss the subject with him, please ignore the thread.