Scottish MtF transgender help

[Michaela J.]

Sorry to take off topic, but I thought I would drop in here this... If you are thinking of a trip to London, if you have not already done so, look up Dr Perring at Optimal Health and Dr Lorimer at Gendercare. Both have 'Useful' connections to CHX and both are NHS and private. Not to take anything away from Dr Curtis, but has he not been in a spot of bother in the last couple of years ? Probably all sorted now, but it is your money. There are probably a few more, but as it is expensive to go via the expedited route, it may be worth looking the other two up as well.

Nikki

Thank you nikki, I'll look into those. 

[Sandra_Dickinson]

Oh my... I called the clinic after a month and a half of waiting and was informed that they have at least a 12 to 18 month waiting list before I get my first appointment.

Not sure if I can handle this, I'm 32 already (33 on the 17th of may) and I don't think I can wait that long before they even start helping me, especially as this will put me on 3 month waits for appointments before I can get help. I'm afraid to act too impatient but I can't really see myself surviving that long.

And I was so happy when I got that letter. Now I'm starting to realize it was just a way to shunt me onto another list and out of the doctor's hair..   

[lilacwoman]

Wow, that quick? I got referred to Leeds like a month ago and I've still heard bugger all. Got a psychosexual counselling thing coming up on a date yet to be announced, but yeah. Looking into going to see Dr. Curtis now because the wait is killing me and I don't want to do something stupid like self-medding.

Beware of the Leeds gang.

email me for info on how to deal with them.

[lilacwoman]

Sandra. I know of one MtF who turned up at sandyford and was on hormones within a week.
The Human Rights Act which aids people like my hereo Abu Qatada quite specifically says we don't have to provide any evidence of being TS to get surgery but of course the NHS is full of fools and bigots.

I had my final post-op inspect yesterday and now I'm writing claims for damages.

[nikkit72]

Grrrr it is very annoying. But at 32, a few more months should not make any difference to you at all. Work on the things that you do not need medical/psych help. Voice, image, mannerisms etc. This helps to fill in the gap before the medical bit. As you know, hormones only do so much. It is no good looking like a supermodel and then walking into a restaurant picking your nose, scratching your bum, walking like an ape and talking like a builder ( no offence to apes). I am 41, and have been full time for over a year and only had my first endo appointment at the beginning of January. Was sent to the doctors for a Zoladex implant and was told by them that the dosage my endo wanted to prescribe did not exist. Guess what, another delay. It is not just the delays, but the incompetence that gets to you. So, even when you think you are moving forward..... you get the picture. So, take things into your own hands while you wait. You need to be the driving force behind your transition. Do the safe things to aid progress. It WILL make you feel better.

It WILL happen for you, just on the NHS' timescale and not yours should you take the NHS route.

Oh, and one more thing, there is nothing like jumping in at the deep end with transition. It causes you to readjust preeeeety rapidly in a kind of sink or swim way. Goes something like this... Monday, take ALL male clothes to charity shop, Tuesday, send deed poll and change of name requests to all relevant organisations, Wednesday walk into bank in female clothes with a deed poll and change all your bank details over, Thursday go shopping in Tescos and surprise yourself that because you are dressing to blend in with the other women, nobody is staring at you. Get annoyed that the price of cherry tomatoes has doubled. Friday go for a meal or a coffee or  both. Following week repeat...repeat....repeat... Then get all happy when time has passed, life starts to normalize and you get all your new documentation with your new name and acquired gender on. Driving license is a real cool one.

Thing that puzzles me is, looking at your profile pic, what are you waiting for ? Get the groundwork done and you can walk into your first appointment, where and whenever that may be with proof of name change and RLE with your head held high.

Remember, you do not need the NHS' permission to be you and start living your life.

Do not get upset, get busy and get creative. 

[Sandra_Dickinson]

Lilacwoman - I called Sandyford (in Glasgow) immediately after hearing that and the gender clinic receptionist is off today, I've been given a direct number to call tomorrow so they're my main hope right now. They advertise a 3 month turnaround and I can definitely live with that, just as long as the wait to get seen to start with isn't too long...

Nikkit - you're right as always X if I had taken this into my hands at the start I wouldn't have sat around waiting for such disappointing news. I've been going out shopping and generally having fun and it's felt better than I could have imagined,  I suppose that's why learning of the wait feels so crushing. I need to work on my voice, it's my main problem with passing (I get my friends to ask for things because I'm too ashamed of it) and that's what I should be directing my energies to beating. I needpractice and I certainly have time...

[nikkit72]

It is good to hear that you have been proactive in your transition. Keep at it. Your voice will come in time. Just remember to use it everywhere. With regards to voice, just remember that YOUR female voice might not be what you want it to sound like. If that makes sense.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Nikki

[Sandra_Dickinson]

Well Sandyford clinic have a 12 month waiting list, slightly better - they were also much more helpful and understanding on the phone than Chalmers street. Talking to the lovely lady I found I wasn't even on the Chalmers street waiting list, despite being referred by my gp! Not pleased with them at all and I've not even seen them yet!

If any other Scots need a recommendation so far it has to be Sandyford. Polite, helpful and understanding staff and they actually reply and call you back! Waiting lists can't be helped with the nhs, just dealt with.

[Danniella]

Well Sandyford clinic have a 12 month waiting list, slightly better - they were also much more helpful and understanding on the phone than Chalmers street. Talking to the lovely lady I found I wasn't even on the Chalmers street waiting list, despite being referred by my gp! Not pleased with them at all and I've not even seen them yet!

If any other Scots need a recommendation so far it has to be Sandyford. Polite, helpful and understanding staff and they actually reply and call you back! Waiting lists can't be helped with the nhs, just dealt with.

HEEEEEEY! ANOTHER SCOTTISH PERSON WAITING ON SANDYFORD! -waves frantically-

I've been on the waiting list for 4 months now...although I have had a bunch of snags with living in Tayside, (they had a policy change with self referrals which meant I needed to see therapists etc to secure funding before I was allowed on the waiting list...weirdness)

So I was taken off the list for a while because of some funding malarkey...but luckily just found out today that I am back on it now, and the folk at Sandyford are saying that they will keep my original referral date on record, so that in theory I shouldn't have lost any time!...in theory...I do not like the idea of going back to the bottom of the list after 5 months :S

So I can certainly second the Sandyford praise, even through all the shenanigans of the self referring mixup etc, they have been lovely...and yeah it really sucks that there are so few trans support groups...or any trans support in Scotland really.

There isn't a single thing in Tayside at all...maybe one day I will start one, maybe I could teach them how to project the perfect air of insanity to ensure smooth transitioning...or roller skating...one or the other

[chrissydr]

I am also currently waiting on Sandyford, but its just the last hurdle to get hormones. Turns out the Doctor that sets up the letters was on Holiday until just last month, so its probably just chasing him up. But I spoke to a lovely lady by the name of Alice?. Who assures me, that they haven't forgotten about me, but to wait about another week. I have been waiting for about a year altogether, so I guess another week isn't too bad. After an appt was pushed back 2 months, so i guess considering how bad England is with it, I can't complain.

Sandyford is very helpful, but its just taking alot of time. It seems the doctors that actually help out there, only work 2 or 3 days a week and work the rest of their time elsewhere. I am impatient and my wife is getting downright  aggressive with them, but we don't have the money to go private.

Good luck.

[Danniella]

I am also currently waiting on Sandyford, but its just the last hurdle to get hormones. Turns out the Doctor that sets up the letters was on Holiday until just last month, so its probably just chasing him up. But I spoke to a lovely lady by the name of Alice?. Who assures me, that they haven't forgotten about me, but to wait about another week. I have been waiting for about a year altogether, so I guess another week isn't too bad. After an appt was pushed back 2 months, so i guess considering how bad England is with it, I can't complain.

Sandyford is very helpful, but its just taking alot of time. It seems the doctors that actually help out there, only work 2 or 3 days a week and work the rest of their time elsewhere. I am impatient and my wife is getting downright  aggressive with them, but we don't have the money to go private.

Good luck.

Yeah I've got that feeling from Sandyford, the area is pretty underfunded in general.

I have been to see Dr Lyndsey Myskow privately in Edinburgh, she was really, really good, it's just a shame I can't afford to go full private, or I would most certainly be doing so right now

[Sandra_Dickinson]

OMG! 2 other Scots! Others do exist!

Sandyford seem helpful enough, and I'm hoping that they have ironed out any issues - I get pretty depressed when there's a hold up. The receptionist I spoke to also only worked Monday to Wednesday so I already had to wait a few days just to speak to them, but at least they actually called me back!

There isn't a single thing in Tayside at all...maybe one day I will start one

Apparently there's support groups here in the Lothians but every one I've contacted has had nothing but dead emails and disconnected numbers :/ When we're all finally done with this we can band together and start one!

[nikkit72]

Oi Dickinson woman ! Now look what you have started ! You are all crawling out of the woodwork now and when Scotland finally gets its independance and decent funding for things (good luck) you lot will forget about yer poor sisters down below the border and teeter off to your fancy support groups eating posh food and drinking fine wines....

On the other hand, suffering always feels better when you do it together.

[Danniella]

OMG! 2 other Scots! Others do exist!

I know right!, it's like, the waiting lists at Sandyford etc imply that there are lots of us...but then we are like golddust when you try to find others 0.o

Sandyford seem helpful enough, and I'm hoping that they have ironed out any issues - I get pretty depressed when there's a hold up. The receptionist I spoke to also only worked Monday to Wednesday so I already had to wait a few days just to speak to them, but at least they actually called me back!

I know the feeling, I get really depressed if a day goes by without some form of progress in the transition. I started self medding (I wouldn't recommend it still, but desperate times...) so at least it feels like, even if I can't get any time to practice voice or dressing or whatever, at least some progress is still being made biologically

Apparently there's support groups here in the Lothians but every one I've contacted has had nothing but dead emails and disconnected numbers :/ When we're all finally done with this we can band together and start one!

Sounds like you had the same experience as me, there are dead websites and phone numbers for some support groups in Tayside, but none are running currently...well there is one, but it's only for teenagers...I think I am past the stage where I can pretend do be an emo 15year old now ^^#

We could start a group, and call it the "Super Awesome Gender Questioning Talky Group of Scotland!"..."SAGQTGS"...needs work...

[Sandra_Dickinson]

Oi Dickinson woman ! Now look what you have started ! You are all crawling out of the woodwork now and when Scotland finally gets its independance and decent funding for things (good luck) you lot will forget about yer poor sisters down below the border and teeter off to your fancy support groups eating posh food and drinking fine wines....

On the other hand, suffering always feels better when you do it together.

Decent funding... I'm pretty sure if we do get independence we'll be trading one load of selfish politicians for another!

And we won't forget you while eating deep fried mars bars and sipping irn bru from champagne glasses! As long as fracking doesn't separate us by exploding the north of England lol

Misery loves company, after all!

I started self medding (I wouldn't recommend it still, but desperate times...)

Um... I've started buying and preparing for that, going to start once I get working and settled in. I know it's not the best idea, but with the twelve months to wait I wasnt sure I could wait for them to ok me or not. Taking it really slow and safe until I can get real help. But I need to feel progress is happening biologically as well as psychologically.

We could start a group, and call it the "Super Awesome Gender Questioning Talky Group of Scotland!"..."SAGQTGS"...needs work...

I've spent about ten minutes trying to come up with something funny as an acronym, but nothing work safe :p

[RosieD]

Oi Dickinson woman ! Now look what you have started ! You are all crawling out of the woodwork now and when Scotland finally gets its independance and decent funding for things (good luck) you lot will forget about yer poor sisters down below the border and teeter off to your fancy support groups eating posh food and drinking fine wines....

I thought we were already planning the Welsh one? They get independence and we get the good food and better (relatively speaking) weather.

Rosie

[nikkit72]

I thought we were already planning the Welsh one? They get independence and we get the good food and better (relatively speaking) weather.

Rosie

Shhh I thought that was a secret otherwise you will have them all down here basking in our tropical climate..

[Danniella]

Um... I've started buying and preparing for that, going to start once I get working and settled in. I know it's not the best idea, but with the twelve months to wait I wasnt sure I could wait for them to ok me or not. Taking it really slow and safe until I can get real help. But I need to feel progress is happening biologically as well as psychologically.

Yeah, the waiting lists are a real kicker :S I mean it's like 12months to get in the door, then normally like 3-4months RLE after that before they even consider giving you hormones

I'm really looking to use Sandyford for the more niche services, like the voice training etc, and ofc the SRS when the time comes.

Ideally though, I think to myself, hell, in a years time I would love to be able to walk into my first ever appointment at Sandyford fully and confidently presenting as female, I hear that if that happens, then they will expedite the rest very quickly

Gives me a nice target to aim for as well.

[chrissydr]

You don't need any RLE for hormones. I am def not to the point where I could pass one bit really. But I should be going on them as soon as possible.

My wife is somewhat helpful with alot of things and did want to be a makeup artist so she has been some help. I will def be using the help from Sandyford for anything and everything they will give me. Might be good to have a few going through it with them to help each other out.

[KateConnors]

Number 3 Scot here!  I'm from Dundee originally, lived in Edinburgh for years (even saw Dr Myskow while I was a student at Ed Uni, the NHS waiting list at the time was *only* 9 months - though I bailed on transitioning at the time).  Fast forward a few years, I started transition at 32 (it's not too late! , now 35 and living in near Los Angeles.