Scottish MtF transgender help

[crowcrow223]

My much less exciting news is that I finally had my laser test today, after having to wait a few extra weeks because I'd had sun exposure and they were worried about side effects.  So... it feels a bit like being stung by a wasp, but it's tolerable.  Everything seems to be fine.  As long as I don't have any delayed reaction, I will have my first full session next week.  Yay! ^^

Did your gender therapist say you have to be with them 6 months before they fund facial hair removal for you? x

[Cat]

Hi, crowcrow.  ^^  I don't even have a gender therapist yet (;_;), I'm funding this myself because I need to do something while I wait, and I can just about (kinda) afford to do it right now... (sort of).  But yeah, I expect it will be a looong time before they're willing to step up and fund anything for me.

Danniella, I know what you mean -- I think the feeling of having facial hair is even worse than the look (and that's saying something).  I'm sure you're right about getting better results once on HRT -- I've read that too, and obviously the presence of androgens makes it more likely that new hair will grow (>.>).  However, it can and will still make a profound difference in the meantime, which will put me in a better position down the line!

Plus, I reiterate, I just... need to feel like I'm doing something.... making some progress... while I wait for this psych appointment (next week) and then the stress of trying to push for bridging therapy once that's over with.  At least this way, I have some way of reassuring myself that I'm making some kind of permanent(-ish) physical changes happen.

As for bars and clubs... hmm.  I stopped going to the latter in my early twenties and can honestly say I've never missed them.  And I pick and choose my bars (even more so now, for obvious reasons :p).  I suppose I'm a bit antisocial, or maybe it's just not my kind of socialising any more?  But I'm sure you'll have lots of fun! :3

[Nala]

B: Lacked the funds to do it >.>

But here is hoping that Sandyford can help with that!

I think I got about nine or ten sessions of laser freeeeeeee~ Should be fine!

[Nala]

crowcrow223: Thanks for your private message, but I don't actually have enough posts to respond yet. ^^ I'll respond as soon as I can!

EDIT: Oh, actually, this post gave me enough posts to respond. XD Ignore me~!

[Danniella]

I forgot to let ya'll know what happened last weekend! xD

So Paula, Sam and I went out to an LGBT club in Dundee...first time I have ever been to one D:

Highlights of the night included:

• A massive Nerf war pre-going out to get the blood pumping ^^
• More alcohol than I have ever drank
• So much heat like oh my god it was so warm and sweaty
• Being hit on by a super butch lesbian in the bathroom. She was apparently frustrated by the number of "fakers and ->-bleeped-<- hags" in the club, but she apparently could "tell I was a lesbian from across the room"...Apparently she had been watching me for a while and "You only have eyes for the girls, and you look the part"...I'm not sure how to take that to be honest, but I politely declined her advances regardless xD
• A super creepy guy stalked Sam for a bit (Nothing screams creepy more than a guy in his mid 40s only drinking diet coke in an LGBT bar at 2am in the morning o.O )
• Another trans girl was dragged in halfway through the night by a group of friends. She was the shiest thing I have ever seen. I kept an eye on her for a bit until she caught me looking at her. We had a little peering moment where we clocked each other...I gave a little friendly smile and a nod...just to try and be all "Hey there...yeah we're trans don't worry about it"...but she looked like I had just shot her dog and promptly gathered her friends before fleeing the building maybe she is trying for pure stealth and was worried I would out her or something I felt really bad for ruining her night
• I danced like I have never danced before!!! (but always wanted to xD ) In the past I have always avoided dance floors...my excuse being that I "couldn't dance"...when the truth of the matter is that whenever I danced in the past, I had constant urges to do so in an extremely...feminine way. So I just avoided them in general. But for the first time ever, I completely let myself go! I went full on...just lost completely in the moment. After a few minutes I found myself just sexy, steamy dancing on the dancefloor. Lost the middle of all the sound, smoke and lights..I felt so truly alive and more attractive than I ever have before. I even managed to catch the eyes of a number of girls and got some smokey "come hither" looks and people checking me out!!! I didn't make a move on anybody, just enjoying myself too much really to think about pulling and uncertain of the etiquette involved, but it was amazing!...Although...I think I freaked out Sam a bit... We where hot all night...like...wow...the way you danced" was his insightful retrospective the following morning...Again...not sure how I fell about that >.>
• [Possible hurtful/bigoted comments redacted, Danniella needs to think about her perspective some more >.>]
• Then another quick dance before home time and collapsing with exhaustion ^^

I don't exactly think I will ever be a hardcore clubber or anything, it was quite the roller coaster of a night, I didn't pull, had some rather bad feels during it, and conjured the worst hangover I have ever experienced in my life the following day. xD But Paula kept my spirits up (As she is want to do), and even just the power I got from realising that I am actually getting to a place mentally where I can physically go out into the "wild" and feel alive and sexy like I never have before...yeah it was totally worth it


Some pics from the night:

Pre-Club Snacking


Nice photo of me and Paula...Dark because Sam does not know how to take epics in a club xD


Me for most of the following day xD



Hope the rest of you girls are doing okay, and that maybe this will help you find some confidence to go out there push yourself/try something new outside your comfort zone!


Cleaned up a few words of language

[crowcrow223]

A troop of Transvestites entered the building...The grotesque Cher lookalikes were squeezed into PVC, donning huge wigs and teetering on platform heels, as they screeched and stomping around the place in quite the dysphoria inducing spectacle...They were exactly the type of thing that scared me away from the trans community when I was younger...and it just brought up lots of resentment, regret and bad memories...(I got many "Dings" then) >.> [/li][/list]

OMG I love drag queens! why throw a shade at them, for looking the way they do? everyone can dress how they want, plus I personally find dqs hilarious and so colourful!

[Sandra_Dickinson]

Being hit on by a super butch lesbian

The ultimate pass! Men will stick their willy in anything, you know you're doing well when girls hit on you x

I'd be more jealous, but I'm in Venice! Too many beautiful people here though...

[Danniella]

OMG I love drag queens! why throw a shade at them, for looking the way they do? everyone can dress how they want, plus I personally find dqs hilarious and so colourful!

Yeah...I know that really I shouldn't mock drag queens, especially given my oft lauded stance of "people should be free to be who they want to be...so long as who they want to be isn't a serial killer." but I just can't get over how much they ->-bleeped-<-ed with my head when I was younger and delayed my transition for the better part of 10 years, and that every time I tell people I am trans there is a distressing number of people who instantly get the image of me as a full blown drag queen "On the weekend"

It just makes me feel uncomfortable...like they are a great big mockery of a real medical condition...but I should probably work on that >.>

The ultimate pass! Men will stick their willy in anything, you know you're doing well when girls hit on you x

I'd be more jealous, but I'm in Venice! Too many beautiful people here though...

Venice!? Oh my god I am so jelly! D: Also amazing pic! Hope you have a great time!!![/list]

[crowcrow223]

but I just can't get over how much they ->-bleeped-<-ed with my head when I was younger and delayed my transition for the better part of 10 years, and that every time I tell people I am trans there is a distressing number of people who instantly get the image of me as a full blown drag queen "On the weekend"

It just makes me feel uncomfortable...like they are a great big mockery of a real medical condition...but I should probably work on that >.>

Don't worry Daniella. Being transsexual can affect many parts of your life, how you perceive others etc. I used to detest every successful, happy transsexual prior to my transition, I was full of rage, internalized transphobia and jealousy really.

As I went on with my transition, my acceptence towards myself grew, and hence my acceptance towards gay/trans people grew too. It doesn't happen overnight

Plus, even if people think of you as a "fullblown drag queen on the weekend", what's wrong with that? Let's forget about the mentality of heteronormative patriarchy, where every gender non comforming person is looked down upon... Let's celebrate it! There are in fact transsexual women who DO perform as drag queens. If someone looks down upon drag queens, do you want them to be your friend?

No one delayed your transition, I'm sorry, drag queens are performers/actors/singers/dancers, they weren't holding you back from starting a transition, you held yourself back, your misconceptions, but don't worry, you're on your way girl Chin up, your life is just starting!

I don't agree that drag queens are a mockery of real medical condition... Drag queens mock women. Predominantly women. Mock is the wrong word, they impersonate women in a funny way, they don't mean to offend women. They have never aimed to be the face of transsexual community. They're just having fun, performing, impersonating famous celebrities, laughing etc.

Good luck!

[Eris]

I'd be more jealous, but I'm in Venice! Too many beautiful people here though...

If you're still in Venice and you like pizza (apparently some people don't ) then you might want to check and see if there's still a little pizza place off of one of the little side streets from the Fontana di Trevi, best pizza I ever tasted, I wish I could remember it's name...

[crowcrow223]

If you don't like that, as you yourself said, don't hang out with drag queens. But to be honest, if you really like them, and they're your friends, I would still hang out with them. If I'd get miscategorised, I'd politely explain who I am etc, but if it triggers your dysphoria, avoid trans-related places

I used to care how people view/categorise me. Now, if they'd label me a crossdresser who likes wearing women's clothing, I'll wear this label with a smile baby, proudly.

[mrs izzy]

Can we please respect everyone that is under our umbrella.

They are humans the same as us and deal with there own issues the same as we do.

They are no more right or wrong as TG are right or wrong.

Seems so much judgments going on but in the same breath we wish not to be judged.

SO please remember to respect everyone.

I will be watching close where this is going. 

[mrs izzy]

You seem to have missed the point. I am not judging DQ/CD/TV folk. I am judging how cis-folk think of ALL of us and how I have trouble with cis-peoples opinions.

Cis people are entitled to there opinions. But we also can not place our opinions on anyone either. Its that double edge sword.

My comment is not to one person it is made to the progression in the thread.

It is getting a little on the side of bad judgements.

I just want everyone to put yourself in others shoes before one makes comments that can be misconstrued.

That is all i am saying.

[Eris]

It just occurred to me that the fontana di trevi is in Rome not Venice. I apologise wholeheartedly for my stupidity 

And for this post, highlighting my stupidity...

Still I hope that you're enjoying Venice Sandra, have you been to Murano yet?

[Sandra_Dickinson]

We'll be visiting Murano later this week, going to see some more local sights tomorrow, a few exhibitions at the palazzos. This city is absolutely gorgeous, knocks me dead when I turn a corner and see another incredible sight. Just sat and had a cigarette while looking at the moon reflected on the canal...

And the shoes! So many amazing shops, so little money!

Kisses from Venice, I may post some photos tomorrow when I'm back in my hotel XXX

[Danniella]

EEP...things got a bit cray cray in my absence >.>

I've been having a good hard think about my stance re:transvestites etc and how and why I view and react to them in the way I do.

I know that it is a complex and not 100% fully understood problem I have, but I'm not going to muddy the water of this thread any further with my internal soul searching and commentary/musings as I try to figure out what is residual bigoted mentalities of my past male self, and what is genuine problems etc.

Instead I am just going to say that I am sorry for any offense that may have been caused by my comments, I have removed what I can myself, and I shall spend some time trying to figure this one out myself...

I guess we are all a work in progress, not just physically, but mentally and socially as well. ^^#

Now hopefully we can return to our regularly scheduled Scottish trans content

[Eris]

live from Venice 

[Sandra_Dickinson]

A Scottish transgender in Venice, day 3

Saw so many amazing things today, just a couple of pictures for you girls.



Photobombing a shot on the Rialto bridge. Ugh. Such British teeth.



San Marco Piazza. So much incredible architecture in such a small area.



And this is how I spend my nights once the little one is asleep. Plastic glass of wine (classy!) and a cigarette while looking out at the canal.

Feeling kind of up and down, with so many gorgeous Mediterranean people about I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. Keep smiling and enjoying though, trying not to let that bring me down.

Today on a waterbus a lady gave me the absolute stink-eye, and I looked away ashamed. Until my wife stepped in front of me and stared her down, before whispering "if that b***h does that again I'm going to put her in the canal!" to me. I guess you can take the girls out of Scotland... :-P

Now the thread is nice and derailed, how about you ladies? Any times you've had a defence like that, or where would you go on your dream holidays?

[mrs izzy]

Wish i was there seeing the sites with you Sandra.

Yes had a few issues back when i first went full time.

My husband just reached over took my hand and gave me a kiss.

They had not clue then what was up.

Just enjoy your time and do not let small minded people upset your day.

Hugs and love all the pics. Again thanks for sharing

[Danniella]

I'M SO JELLY ON SO MANY LEVELS!!!

Jelly of your holiday! (Venice! Oh my god I want to go there one day!)

Jelly of your amazing sounding wife! (Give her a hug from me for standing up for you and being generally awesome)

Jelly of your kid! (I hope she is having a good time to, even though you do want some "Parent time" )

Just...so much jelly ^^

How long are you away for?