Family issues

[Brandon]

Well last week I went bowling for my uncles gfs birthday, And I guess were going again but I guess I'm upset because I realize none of them will ever see me as a guy in my family, I hate being refered to as my birth name or she it's downright annoying to the fullest I can't stand it especially seeing all the other guys their with their families having a good time out of all things this has to be the main thing that hurts me lack of acceptance and its just so hard to let go of that I mean its family sometimes I wish God would gave my mom someother baby instead of me I mean foreal someone else can make her happy because I sure can't do it and this a major thing that has been wearing me down, I'm not sure what to do, I'm getting sick of everything and everybody, It's really not fair at all honestly......

[DriftingCrow]

I know where you're coming from. I hope things get better for you Brandon.  Things can be especially tough this time of year for many people, we're here if you ever need to talk.

[Devlyn]

These people have known you for a long time. The memories are burned in. People can change, it usually takes a while, though. Many here have left family and friends behind to start a new life. You may have to do the same.  Hugs, Devlyn

[Brandon]

I know where you're coming from. I hope things get better for you Brandon.  Things can be especially tough this time of year for many people, we're here if you ever need to talk.

I hope so....

[Brandon]

These people have known you for a long time. The memories are burned in. People can change, it usually takes a while, though. Many here have left family and friends behind to start a new life. You may have to do the same.  Hugs, Devlyn

My family is really devoted in being a Christian, Looks like ill have to

[Devlyn]

It's a decision you'll have to make. The bond of family is strong, but so is faith. Leaving your loved ones is hard. Learning to live away from them becomes easy very quickly. Hugs, Devlyn

[CursedFireDean]

My family is really devoted in being a Christian, Looks like ill have to

Not all Christians hate trans people, even devoted ones. There may be hope, even if it's gonna take time. I sure hope you can figure out how you can be yourself and stay with your family.

[Brandon]

Not all Christians hate trans people, even devoted ones. There may be hope, even if it's gonna take time. I sure hope you can figure out how you can be yourself and stay with your family.

Trust me man I know my family, They are not down with that

[CursedFireDean]

Trust me man I know my family, They are not down with that

I'm sorry man

[Brandon]

I'm sorry man

Its alright man

[chuck]

Well last week I went bowling for my uncles gfs birthday, And I guess were going again but I guess I'm upset because I realize none of them will ever see me as a guy in my family, I hate being refered to as my birth name or she it's downright annoying to the fullest I can't stand it especially seeing all the other guys their with their families having a good time out of all things this has to be the main thing that hurts me lack of acceptance and its just so hard to let go of that I mean its family sometimes I wish God would gave my mom someother baby instead of me I mean foreal someone else can make her happy because I sure can't do it and this a major thing that has been wearing me down, I'm not sure what to do, I'm getting sick of everything and everybody, It's really not fair at all honestly......

2

Yeah - that is one of the more frustrating aspects of transitioning. Most folks here have struggled with their family. Give it time. Testosterone will help alot. Even the people in my family who don't "agree" feel pretty silly if they call me "she" since I have beard and a deep voice.

And yes, try to see it from their perspective (This is one of those maturity things, that will help you in all aspects of your life). It may not seem fair that you have to consider their crappy feelings, but doing so, will help you understand and give them some leeway.

Focus on continuing your transition and do your best to ignore them.

[Cindy]

I think family are always the final frontier, but you can use those comments to develop your shields, we need to develop a thick skin and an attitude that we are comfortable with being us and no one else's opinion is important.

I think all trans*people need to keep in mind 'Be true to yourself' that is what carries us through those tough times.

[thatboyfresh]

Sorry you are feeling so low about this. I know how tough it can be because I have had a similar experience. My family are Christians and they are not accepting of LGBQT ect... at all. I know it makes you feel sad to feel like you won't ever be taken seriously . I ended up moving out on my own. And even though my mother doesn't accept my "lifestyle choices" as she puts it, we are closer now then before.

Like Chuck said even though it seems unfair , you have to see it from their eyes. Imagine your brother, sister, mother, father came out to you as trans . It would be a lot to take in for you. Even though you love them and care for them it would take time for adjustment and understanding. So it doesn't mean they don't love you . In an earlier topic you said your dad was willing to take you to a therapist? That is some improvement so keep working on it maybe starting with him. Good luck !

[aleon515]

I believe holidays are often the hardest times as you have everybody who seems to want to be together, even though though don't necessarily get along. Just sorry to hear this and hang in there dude.


--Jay

[Brandon]

Sorry you are feeling so low about this. I know how tough it can be because I have had a similar experience. My family are Christians and they are not accepting of LGBQT ect... at all. I know it makes you feel sad to feel like you won't ever be taken seriously . I ended up moving out on my own. And even though my mother doesn't accept my "lifestyle choices" as she puts it, we are closer now then before.

Like Chuck said even though it seems unfair , you have to see it from their eyes. Imagine your brother, sister, mother, father came out to you as trans . It would be a lot to take in for you. Even though you love them and care for them it would take time for adjustment and understanding. So it doesn't mean they don't love you . In an earlier topic you said your dad was willing to take you to a therapist? That is some improvement so keep working on it maybe starting with him. Good luck !

My dad and mom don't live together, He's more liberal but he still has said some pretty messed up stuff if you will, He don't support me but he accepts that's it, My mom on the other will never accept it or support it thats a fact she even said I'm still gonna call you your birth name and as her daughter, And that me being so called trans is embarrasing, But oh well I guess





Edited for profanity

[Devlyn]

[thatboyfresh]

My dad and mom don't live together, He's more liberal but he still has said some pretty f***** up stuff if you will, He don't support me but he accepts that's it, My mom on the other will never accept it or support it thats a fact she even said I'm still gonna call you your birth name and as her daughter, And that me being so called trans is embarrasing, But oh well I guess

He may not see it that way because of his views, but taking you to see a therapist is a form of support. He could accept it and do nothing about it. But he obviously realizes that this is something that means a lot to you. I know it sucks when your own family says nasty things . Sorry

[Brandon]

He not see it that way because of his views, but taking you to see a therapist is a form of support. He could accept it and do nothing about it. Be he obviously realizes that this is something that means a lot to you. I know it sucks when your own family says nasty things . Sorry

Yea he might be the only one who's ok with it

[wheat thins are delicious]

My dad and mom don't live together, He's more liberal but he still has said some pretty f'ed up stuff if you will, He don't support me but he accepts that's it, My mom on the other will never accept it or support it thats a fact she even said I'm still gonna call you your birth name and as her daughter, And that me being so called trans is embarrasing, But oh well I guess

Definitely give it time.  You can also try to compromise with your mom, like I've compromised with my mother that she won't call me my birthname or she in public.  She refers to me as her child, or says 'this one' and points at me when referencing me in public. 

[Brandon]

Definitely give it time.  You can also try to compromise with your mom, like I've compromised with my mother that she won't call me my birthname or she in public.  She refers to me as her child, or says 'this one' and points at me when referencing me in public.

I'm not even gonna do that it always turns into an arguement so I'm done trying to explain myself, My family will never get it ever, Trust me I know