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how do you think the majority of men and women view" trans" women

Started by evecrook, December 13, 2013, 09:52:26 AM

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evecrook

I was just wondering how most cis men and women view "trans" women.  It was pointed out in a thread today of the possibility of some doctors having a dim view of us. I'm just starting transition and just don't know how they will react to me once I'm me. I'm bi and always will be. Honestly men turn me on can't help it . I told a friend of my transition a few days ago and haven't heard back from him so I don't know if he hates me now or what, He's really a cute guy.
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Oriah

from what I've experienced, the trend goes towards confused sissy gay male who wants to masquerade as a woman to entrap straight males and turn them gay.

true story.  I've heard this one many times
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big kim

A dirty little secret to screw when their wives and girlfriends are having periods.
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Michaela J.

Quote from: Oriah on December 13, 2013, 10:03:29 AM
from what I've experienced, the trend goes towards confused sissy gay male who wants to masquerade as a woman to entrap straight males and turn them gay.

true story.  I've heard this one many times

Yep, both homophobic and transphobic in one fell swoop. Cis dudes can be real class acts!

Simply put, gay/lesbian/bi/trans people aren't interested in 'turning' others, but those who discriminate against us spend years of their lives convincing others to do likewise.
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suzifrommd

Please let's not tar all men with the same broad brush.

Yes, there are ignorant folk who believe ridiculous tales and who look down on us.

I know a number of men who, while they don't understand why I needed to transition, they respect it and are very good about using my new name. They are just as polite and friendly as they were when they saw me as an ordinary guy. 90+% of the men I know fit in this category.

IMO, the more we educate people about transgender (e.g., we are wired this way, it's not something we choose, it's a medical treatment for a condition that otherwise has serious consequences, etc.) the less we're going to see of these attitudes.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Devlyn

Quote from: suzifrommd on December 13, 2013, 10:22:15 AM
Please let's not tar all men with the same broad brush.

Yes, there are ignorant folk who believe ridiculous tales and who look down on us.

I know a number of men who, while they don't understand why I needed to transition, they respect it and are very good about using my new name. They are just as polite and friendly as they were when they saw me as an ordinary guy. 90+% of the men I know fit in this category.

IMO, the more we educate people about transgender (e.g., we are wired this way, it's not something we choose, it's a medical treatment for a condition that otherwise has serious consequences, etc.) the less we're going to see of these attitudes.

Agreed. This topic seems designed to encourage bashing of men.
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Just Shelly

I have 2 doctors, my doctor for HRT and my primary doctor who is a general physician.

My HRT doctor is a wonderful human being, he is the only one in the area to treat transgender people, I believe his reputation has even been affected for doing so.....though I hope it's been good rather than bad. I even thought he was gay up until about my third year on HRT...I just figured someone that is helping a group of people like us, must also be in a minority. I found out recently he has been happily married for years, though his wonderful nurse is a lesbian...just found that out also.

The reason I mention this is because it does seem to help if your therapist or doctor is part of the LGBT community....but this isn't the case for me at least. My therapist was a gay man and even though he helped me immensely I also felt he was more one sided of favoring anything I may do.

My primary doctor is a married hetero women, I have only recently decided to stop seeing her...this is only because my HRT doctor is also a general physician.  I am sad over doing this since I feel she is just as wonderful of a human being....but my main reason is because she is not familiar with the HRT regiment TG people need. I do get a feeling at times that she may not agree with what I am doing but I know she does not hold any prejudice against me since she also questions if her one daughter is TG.

I have also seen other doctors in the last 3 years and can say I have been treated with the same respect anyone else has. There was one doctor that I consider a quack and treated me like a number...but this had nothing to do with me being Trans, since he never knew. He was just a bad doctor....about the third one I have had in my lifetime....but that's out of about 20....there's always good and bad in any profession.
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Ltl89

I can't say what the majority of people think without knowing them.  What I will say is that most who know about me are very sweet, compassionate and understanding.  Not everyone will approve and really comprehend what I feel, but most seem to have a "do what you want and be happy" mentality.  Now, if only I can get my family there, lol.

For disclosure purposes, I'm not out to everyone in my life just yet, but a decent amount of people do know about my transition.  I'm not making an effort to hide it either. 

Edited to make more sense, lol. 
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kathyk

95% don't seem to care, and I also don't want to guess what they think.  But those in California who know me are courteous, and only the religious cousins back in Michigan despise me.





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Tessa James

Really how could we possibly know?  I can tell you that the vast majority of people I know and meet treat me very well or with the indifference afforded any other stranger.  And then there are plenty of people who have met transgender people who "pass" so completely that no one is aware of their past.

I suggest we cannot let the tyranny of the majority determine our course in life or our ultimate happiness.  Live free as yourself and share the joys of self liberation with those we meet.
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
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Michelle G

I've noticed when I read the comments section of news articles concerning trans gender issues that it's about an even mix of men/women doing the "bashing talk" but the one group that really stands out are the religious commenters, they can get very very mean and disgusting!
Just a "California Girl" trying to enjoy each sunny day
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Ltl89

Quote from: Tessa James on December 13, 2013, 11:57:42 AM
Really how could we possibly know?  I can tell you that the vast majority of people I know and meet treat me very well or with the indifference afforded any other stranger.  And then there are plenty of people who have met transgender people who "pass" so completely that no one is aware of their past.

I suggest we cannot let the tyranny of the majority determine our course in life or our ultimate happiness.  Live free as yourself and share the joys of self liberation with those we meet.

Agreed.  It's impossible what's in the hearts and minds of people we have never met, assuming most of us have not met all of the worlds population, lol.   I just hope youtube comments aren't a reflection of it. 
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Missy~rmdlm

Oh internets comments in general are a reflection of what the population isn't. Certain websites do have different mixes of commenters than others.
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evecrook

I know for me personally before I realized that's what I was, well I probably always realized it maybe after I accepted it to myself. I grew up seeing the jerry springer version and the Geraldo version of the prostitute transgender. I worked by a street in Chicago notorious for prostitution by the trans prostitute. That was my perception for a long time of the trans woman. I am trans and I have been a prostitute. Maybe my view of transgender got misguided along the way, The thing though because of the neighborhood I worked in ,The heart of the lgbt community, my perception started to change a lot. It's weird because I am trans ,but maybe I didn't totally want to admit it. Then I started to transition and found Susan's place. My view of the trans community is so different after seeing everybody on this web site. I personally had a very different view than I do now.
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Missy~rmdlm

A better public quiz would be how would they feel about a person they have known for years, was trans and had transitioned 12 years ago. As a reasonably passing person, it's not my thing to ever disclose, but neither is it a secret if it comes up.
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Riley Skye

I can only go by what the media says, people who generally equate "lgbt" rights to white cisgender middle class gay marriage rights sprinkled in with some anti-discrimination and anti-bullying campaigns. There is a massive ignorance in society of anyone who is not gay, those who are bi, pan, trans, intersex, etc. For trans people there is a large ignorance which has lead to very very casual transphobia. I see it all the time and not just from the right but from really wonderful people who will make jokes or misunderstand us because of western civilizations grip on the gender binary and transphobia. When I saw Jon Stewart, who I think is a wonderful comedian news pundit, interview Jared Leto on his character in Dallas Buyers Club I was rather annoyed. Not once did either of them mentioned or talked about Letos character who is a transwoman. Rather he spoke at length on some incredibly inane thing about how Leto had to lose weight for the role. Not even once did the terms "transgender" "transwoman" "male to female", etc come up. It could have been an excellent stage to talk and educate people about us since Jon Stewart is extremely influential in todays politics. Colbert some times makes transphobic jokes which are very offhanded, such as in the Word talking about the size of "her adams apple". Then you have TV shows like South Park who have equated us trans people to trans ethnic or trans species people and end the episode with Mr. Garrison saying he's just really a man and would rather be a woman who can't have a period than a ->-bleeped-<-. Or perhaps various movies in which trans women are bad guys such as Hannibal Lector or Ace Ventura. Is it a wonder that so many people are ignorant and/or harbor transphobic tfeelings because society constantly bombards us with the ideas that it is wrong and shameful to be transgender, that somehow we are wrong for who we are, that people are only the gender they were born with and that we transition so that we wouldn't be gay. I can even go into transphobia within the "LGB" community with the likes of Kathy Brennan. It honestly angers me that because of society I and many, many other trans people harbored so many transphobic thoughts which have actively prevented us from becoming who we are and most importantly happy about ourselves. It's prevented many of us from getting the medical care we need and having to pay thousands upon thousands of dollars to be happy. We are under so many threats just because we go beyond the gender binary and norms that I could write a whole volume of books. We need to fight this, gain allies and take back the LGBT movement, make it all inclusive and not just for middle class to rich white cisgender gay people.... Yeah so many feels here about our rights...
Love and peace are eternal
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Devlyn

Ms Brennan's writings aren't allowed on this site. Please don't anyone go fetching anything from her.
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Emily.T

I have recently made a couple of new friends in my town they are both straight but are also open minded and allow me to be me around them they don't care so there are good ppl out there but they are severely outweighed by ppl who don't understand therefore are cautious in a negative way to keep us at a distance for their own peace of mind.

Emily.T xx
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JRD

From my limited experience in dealing with the public in my job, I have found that most view us as individuals and how we are towards them is most often reflected back.  A number of men that knew me from before transition have adjusted to who I am and treat me accordingly.  Sure a few are obviously uncomfortable around me, but I can't say what their issue is as I haven't asked them and they certainly aren't going to volunteer the reason why they are.


I've learned to just do my thing, treat people the way I would like to be treated and things are just peachy when dealing with people.



I do wonder why it is that you seem to always start topics that are almost sure to stir something up though.

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Devlyn

Quote from: big head horsey-face on December 13, 2013, 03:21:09 PM
From my limited experience in dealing with the public in my job, I have found that most view us as individuals and how we are towards them is most often reflected back.  A number of men that knew me from before transition have adjusted to who I am and treat me accordingly.  Sure a few are obviously uncomfortable around me, but I can't say what their issue is as I haven't asked them and they certainly aren't going to volunteer the reason why they are.


I've learned to just do my thing, treat people the way I would like to be treated and things are just peachy when dealing with people.



I do wonder why it is that you seem to always start topics that are almost sure to stir something up though.



'Sperience.
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