When to go full-time, and when to change records?

[Fae]

I asked Keira in another topic, but I wanted to pose more questions to get other's opinions.  I'm going to be returning to college in late August and I plan on presenting as female when I return (my friends all know and my academic advisor knows, I just need to notify my other professors).  I will have been on HRT for 5+ months when I return, and I'm in what Keira described as the "androgynous" phase of my transition (now after 4 months), so I know I don't completely pass all the time, maybe 50%-60% of the time. 

Occassionally my co-workers will call me "she" or "her" at work, but they don't know I'm trans and I don't bother to correct them (to them it's probably a slip of the tongue...something subconscious...and they don't give it a second thought).  I sometimes get a "ma'am" or "dear" when I'm out shopping and such (the dressing room at target I heard I was reffered to as a "chick")...

My question(s) to all of you, is, how long did you wait for going full-time?  How long were you on HRT before going full-time?  Did you change your records prior to going full-time, or if you're post-op (Orchi or SRS) did you wait until after surgery to change your records?  What records did you change immediately upon going full-time (if you did) and what records did you wait to change?

I ask because I don't want to make it look like I'm rushing to my parents, because if I change my name and records too soon, I think I might loose them (mom especially, but dad is very supportive so maybe notsomuch).  I just don't want to have any run-ins with anyone (police or otherwise) and appear as a woman to them but present male ID (boy that'd be wierd...)

[Kate]

I let my presentation echo how I was being seen. When I was getting sir'd, I was just feminine in dress. Eventually the sirs stopped and people just avoided pronouns altogether, lol, so I dressed androgynous. Around 8-9 months HRT, people would look at me like I'd lost my mind when I used my male name... regardless of what I was wearing... so I started dressing and presenting entirely female.

I STILL haven't legally changed my name (cost is preventing me), but in all practical areas of my life (work, friends, neighbors)... I'm Kate. I started asking people to call me Kate long before I was fulltime though.

It's funny, I feel like I'm married to my past male persona, lol. It's like I use his CCs, Insurance, etc., lol, like he's my husband or something.

As far as the police go, therapists will usually give you a "ID Letter" or "Carry Letter" which explains your situation to anyone who needs to know.

~Kate~

[Buffy]

I changed my name the day I started my RLE.

Two weeks later I had a new passport, drivers licence, credit cards and all my other documents where either being or had been changed.

Most people wanted an official letter and / or a photo copy of the legal name change document

Buffy

[Keira]

My opinion is that as soon as you know you will continue on this path till the end and most people are calling you your new name (except possibly your parents... ) and you pass as female most of the time, there's no point in waiting. People can still call you by your old name (if you let them  even if your legal name is changed.

If your already taking hormones, and your parents know, I don't know why they would object to something that allows you to live your life more fully as a women.  If its easy to do (in some places its cheap and quick), and even to revert, then there's no down side to doing it, just an upside.

Me, I waited 9 months past HRT mainly because I've got many extra-GID issues that are affecting me., making me move at a snail's pace. But, I should have done it 6 months earlier... Here (Quebec) changing name is a mind numbing process that sucks the life out of you; 6-12 months before you get a decision (NO JOKE MATEEE!!!)

[Fae]

I let my presentation echo how I was being seen. When I was getting sir'd, I was just feminine in dress. Eventually the sirs stopped and people just avoided pronouns altogether, lol, so I dressed androgynous. Around 8-9 months HRT, people would look at me like I'd lost my mind when I used my male name... regardless of what I was wearing... so I started dressing and presenting entirely female.

I STILL haven't legally changed my name (cost is preventing me), but in all practical areas of my life (work, friends, neighbors)... I'm Kate. I started asking people to call me Kate long before I was fulltime though.

It's funny, I feel like I'm married to my past male persona, lol. It's like I use his CCs, Insurance, etc., lol, like he's my husband or something.

As far as the police go, therapists will usually give you a "ID Letter" or "Carry Letter" which explains your situation to anyone who needs to know.

~Kate~

I've also asked people to begin calling me by my chosen name too, and most of them are but some who knew me for a while before now as a guy are having a little trouble remembering, but they correct themselves...most of the time. 

I sort of feel the same way about using my CC.  I ordered some clothes online and had them shipped to me with my female name but billed to my male name...it's...wierd 

As soon as I get back to school, I'm planning on asking my counselor there for a "carry letter" to present to anyone in an official capacity who decides to hassle me...

My opinion is that as soon as you know you will continue on this path till the end and most people are calling you your new name (except possibly your parents... ) and you pass as female most of the time, there's no point in waiting. People can still call you by your old name (if you let them  even if your legal name is changed.

If your already taking hormones, and your parents know, I don't know why they would object to something that allows you to live your life more fully as a women.  If its easy to do (in some places its cheap and quick), and even to revert, then there's no down side to doing it, just an upside.

Me, I waited 9 months past HRT mainly because I've got many extra-GID issues that are affecting me., making me move at a snail's pace. But, I should have done it 6 months earlier... Here (Quebec) changing name is a mind numbing process that sucks the life out of you; 6-12 months before you get a decision (NO JOKE MATEEE!!!)

I know the possibility that I would not continue down this path is slim Keira, but the reason I think I should wait and proceed at a "snail's pace" is to be really, really, really sure, 100%, without a doubt, that I will have no regrets. 

The changes I'm going through, both physically and emotionally are slow, and there's no reason to rush into the legal processes until I'm completely comfortable.  I've heard too many stories of individuals rushing transition, and they end up in a personal hell of their own creation.  I don't want that to happen to me.

Where I am here in the states, it takes 3 months for a medical review to change your birth certificate after SRS, but I would hope it only takes a few days or a week at the most for my name change.  Yikes!

[Ms.Behavin]

Hum.. 5 months after starting HRT I went full time.  OK I  was a fish in water... Finally. Did I rush,  I don't think so,  heck I waited 35 years for something I wanted dearly at 13. Once I make up my mind to do something, I tend to jump in with both feet. 

Beni

[Fae]

Hum.. 5 months after starting HRT I went full time.  OK I  was a fish in water... Finally. Did I rush,  I don't think so,  heck I waited 35 years for something I wanted dearly at 13. Once I make up my mind to do something, I tend to jump in with both feet. 

Beni

I'm beginning to think I will have to change my records sooner than later.  I was hanging out with friends last night in a pair of (femme) khakis, a t-shirt (with a padded bra underneath), and sandals, and they said I pass really well...and they wern't just being nice, so...

[Keira]

Fae, I told you so.... Me, by month 4 I could pass 90% (If I had been not as tall it would have been much higher percentage). When nobody can understand why you've got the other name, is a good time to change and also a good thing to start the Real Life Test in school (so, in one year you would be get the letters).

[Fae]

Fae, I told you so.... Me, by month 4 I could pass 90% (If I had been not as tall it would have been much higher percentage). When nobody can understand why you've got the other name, is a good time to change and also a good thing to start the Real Life Test in school (so, in one year you would be get the letters).

It happened again, I just got home from going to a concert with some friends.  At the entrance they check to make sure you're not bringing anything that's banned.  I got in a line where the security guy pointed to his right and said "gals are over there." because they only have women check other women and vice versa with the men.

Yeah...I keep passing more and more without even trying, I think it's time I seriously looked into getting my ID and records changed.

Now, my only dilema is, what records to change?  I know the obvious (DL & Motor Vehicle records, Soc. Sec., Current Banks, Insurance, current doctors, college, etc...) but what about former banks I don't do business with anymore?  Former employers I haven't worked for in over two years, and won't have any relevence in my new field once I graduate?  My High School Records?  Doctor's I no longer see?

Is it up to me who knows and who doesn't, or do I have an obligation to tell everyone and every place I've ever been?