Oh yes, I can relate to this. 😉 I'm a sz. 13 men. The million dollar question - where does a transwoman find shoes worth buying that don't look like hooker shoes or little-old-lady-in-a-nursing-home shoes? (not that I have any problem with little old ladies in nursing homes)
I can sometimes wear a 12w in women's, but 13 is better. As most of you know all too well...all decent selection in women's shoes stops at 10. Notice I didn't say 'cute' because cute doesn't often apply after sz. 10. Yes, there's Payless, and they look ok, but the selection is fairly limited. There's always color Converse Chuck Taylor, or Vans, (somewhat unisex) which are somewhat 'cute', but only work for certain occasions.