Introduction Of me Having this weird problem

[mariella]

Hello,

I don't really know how this forum thingy works but i think im at the right place to post this topic.

Il start by introducing myself,
I'm a 19 year old guy from holland and i'm pretty lost right now.

As far as i can remember even in childhood ive allways thought that i am a girl. DID NOT know i would ever write this. I allways thought it was just something alot of boys had.
I was pretty girly looking in my childhood so sometimes people will say "little girl what can i do for you" in school at the reception. And i did not mind at all, i actually really liked hearing that and i would come more often just cause the woman that works there kept thinking i'm a girl.

But now i'm 19 and nothing has changed except for the fact that i aint little anymore im 1.90m So yeah thats a problem .
While im writing this i know il delete it cause i think its stupid but i hope i get the courage to post it.

So yeahh here i am a 19 yr old guy whishing he would wake up as a girl every evening before bed.
I found it so strange that i had to tell someone about it and thats when i found this susan bloggy.

If this gets posted i really just did it cause i cant keep it for myself anymore.

I dont know what to expect from this forum, if it will help me, or if there are people on here that would like to talk to me about it... so yeahh

My apologies for my bad grammer,

And i hope you all had a wonderfull christmas

P.S my real name aint Mariella (obviously )

P.P.S the verification to post this topic was "Roses are red, violets are ?" i laughed at it just so you know

P.P.P.S thanks for reading

[stephaniec]

you found a place were a lot of people have had very similar experiences in life younger and older.

[Miyuki]

Yup, you are among friends here. There are people here from all around the world that have had similar experiences to yours, and we're happy to give you advice or help you in any way we can.

[Seras]

Welkom.

For me the first time I wrote my feelings on this stuff down really helped me accept and come to terms with myself. I do not post all that often here but it is a really useful website and has helped me a lot. So yea, hope you find all this as useful as I did.

Doesn't Holland have really tall girls anyway, that is a stereotype right

[Miyuki]

Doesn't Holland have really tall girls anyway, that is a stereotype right

Really? Maybe I should move there.

[mariella]

Wow,

I thought this would take some time before someone responded

Thanks for the responses i'm beginning to understand how a forum works (yea.. i know)

In holland you do have tall girls yeah 1.8 or even 1.9m is not rare here

[Rachel]

Welcome and Hugs,

What I found out, to my surprise, CIS gendered people do not question their gender. Trans* gender persons question their gender.

The questioning does not stop and if you have dysphoria and it is getting worse with time then it will not get better on its own.

Seeking help from a gender therapist is a great way of starting to address who you are.

[V M]

Hi Mariella 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here

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Hugs

V M

[Jessica Merriman]

Welcome to the family! You do not have a "weird" problem at all. Science is finding new things out everyday to figure out why we have these feelings. The first two are studies on the Bed Nuclei of the Striate Terminalis and the study of males exposed to Diethylstilbestrol hormone in Utero. If science does not eventually explain it, I suppose there are a huge amount of us "weird" people out there.   You are by no means alone in this! 

[nonameyet]

Welcome. and. i dont know what else to say that isnt already said. fret not woman you are among friends.

Welcome to the family! You do not have a "weird" problem at all. Science is finding new things out everyday to figure out why we have these feelings. The first two are studies on the Bed Nuclei of the Striate Terminalis and the study of males exposed to Diethylstilbestrol hormone in Utero. If science does not eventually explain it, I suppose there are a huge amount of us "weird" people out there.   You are by no means alone in this! 

um. based on that are they .trying. to make people like us. cause that would be going too far.

[Jessica Merriman]

um. based on that are they .trying. to make people like us. cause that would be going too far.

Not at all. They are just finding out common treatments (such as DES) had effects on males later in life. It was an unintended consequence that was not predicted at the time. It was almost like Thalidomide which they thought was harmless in pregnant women until major birth defects became apparent. In the case of the Bed Nuclei study they are finding that the Amigdula fires fewer neurons into the Medulla in females. Unfortunately this can only be proven now post mortem, but the findings seem to suggest some people ARE wired with brains that do not match the persons exterior sex. Science will get there some day. At least they are studying it seriously now.

[LordKAT]

Welcome to Susan's, Mariella. It looks like you will fit right in.

[Carol2000]

Welcome to Susan's, most of us here have been through a similar exprience to you and, like you, didn't know where to turn. Today it's lot easier thanks to the internet. The answer to your problems is most likely answered here already. But, don't worry, if you can't find the answer, ask.

If only the web had been around when I transitioned.

Happy New Year to you, Mariella

Caroline

[mariella]

Hi all,

Thanks for letting me in here,

I really am happy with this bloggy thing and for all the kind welcome's you all give me!

I have allready found many awnsers here and its really informative to know i'm not alone.

Thanks!!!

[Amy]

I think you should have a look at this http://www.vumc.nl/afdelingen/zorgcentrum-voor-gender/ and yes I'm sorry for linking dutch stuff on this forum but it is to help.
This medical center takes care of pretty much all the transgender people in the Netherlands and they can help you. If anything atleast have a look at their website, they have a lot of information on it and I am sure you will find it very useful.

Who knows, perhaps we'll run into each other there sometime.