Moving to a new place

[MaraOnline]

Hi everyone,

My lease is expiring at the end of the month and I've been looking for a place to live. I have been living in an apartment that is sponsored by my university. I have to move out because the place has been leased to someone else in the fall (the location is excellent. The school is across the street). Here is my problem, I haven't been here very long so I don't know a whole lot of people I could move in with but today a place to live became available to me. I would have my own room, but there would be two guys living in the other room. We would share the common space (living room, kitchen, bathroom). I don't know anything about these guys and I wouldn't even meet them until I moved in August 1st. I have began my transition, but I haven't started living as a woman full time. I am.. concerned about moving in with two guys. I am undecided if I should tell them about me, or try to hide it until I can get my own place with friends.

If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it!

[Always Jenna]

I've never been in that position, but my guess is that it would be safer to be honest NOW rather than keep your fingers crossed and your eyes squinched shut.

Look at it this way -- either these guys will freak out, or they'll be cool with it. If they're cool with it, you lose nothing by telling them now. But if they freak out, you're WAY better off knowing in advance what's in store, while you still have time to make other plans! If you're worried that they may out you when you tell them, what do you think they're likely to do if they find out after you move in?

Plus, there's some danger in not being able to get away easily, once you've moved in. No, I'd definitely vote for telling them now -- but as I said, I haven't been in that position and don't know what's best for you.

Hugz, ***Jenna***

[Ms.Behavin]

I agree, You really don't want to surprise guys,  thay hate surprises like that.  Good luck

Beni

[Kimberly]

I would tell; The possible consequences are harsh otherwise.

This said, I would not put myself in such a position;

They do know when and where you sleep after all.
Perhaps I am overly paranoid but... ^*shrug*

I wish you much luck and safety.

[gina_taylor]

From my own experience, I'd be upfront with these two guys, and let them know about yourself. Three years ago, I had moved into a three bedroom house, and like yourself we would share the common space. I thought I had privacy in my room, but one of my roommates discovered about my wanting to be a woman and freaked out!!! So to avoid any complications, I quickly moved out and now I'm living on my own, and life is a lot less stresful! BTW, how far into transition are you?

Gina 

[MaraOnline]

Thanks for the advice.

I was thinking about it and I agree that I need to be upfront about it. If I didn't , I would have to try and hide it and... I really don't want to. The problem is that most of the places around here have year long leases. I talked to one of the employees in the management office yesterday and asked about what my options would be if I didn't get along with my house mates. I can get out of it if there are irreconcilable differences.

Gina, I have only just started my transition (spiro) but soon I will be on estrogen. Its not hard for me to pass as male right now, but I should be entitled to feel comfortable in my own place. I will have to tell them right away and hope for the best.

[gina_taylor]

That's good to hear that you're just at the start of your transition, but once the estrogen kicks in, you may see some fast development. That's good that you can get out of the lease due to irreconcilable differences. Make sure that you change the door handle to your room, so that you have a key lock on it, which will keep others out. I unfortuantely did that after the fact. But from what I had heard, was that one of my house mates had seen me walking from my room to the bathroom in a nightgown in the middle of the night.

Hope everything goes well

Gina

[seldom]

This is the prime reason you need to tell your housing staff at your university that you are transitioning.  You avoid uncomfortable situations like this one.
What motivated you to move in with two unknown male roommates?

[MaraOnline]

This is the prime reason you need to tell your housing staff at your university that you are transitioning.  You avoid uncomfortable situations like this one.
What motivated you to move in with two unknown male roommates?

I already planned on telling them but I just haven't done it yet. I really don't have a good excuse for procrastinating.

As far as moving in with two random people.. well, there is a shortage of housing available near campus and I can't afford to live alone anymore. The more I think about it, the more I realize its not the best of ideas. I'm going to keep looking around for better options.