Hello from me :-) (intro)

[Jessica-SO]

Hi everyone,
I am new here, I joined a little wile ago but I've never had the courage to post yet.
I am a 26 year old cis, female (still new to the terminology so please forgive me if I slip up). My husband, mtf, joined here a while ago and thought it would be good for me too (yes she knows I will be talking about her and she is fine with that).
My husband came out to me 2 years ago, but at that point just had feelings of being trapped in the wrong body, said he didn't want to do anything about it, just that he should have been born a woman, but never will be. I asked at the time if he wanted to do anything with his feelings, and said I would support him but he said no. So it was kind of left at that. Roll on 2 years to September this year and he told me he needs to do something about his feelings. I guess it wasn't a shock to me, I think I knew the day would come, but at the same time, despite knowing for 2 years, I was upset.

Since then a lot has happened. 1st dress up in the house, 1st outing as a female, telling our close family and friends, referral to the local gender hospital....
Ever step that we have gone through so far has been positive, in that respect we have been very lucky but I'm struggling. More so now than I was, I think I went with the motions at first and reality is hitting now.
I adore my husband, we have been together 9 years, married 5. And I KNOW, the person I fell in love with is the real him, but it scares me that I won't feel the same way, during/after transition.
It's never been an option for me not to stay and support my husband through this, he needs me now more than ever. But, I've been feeling some unpleasant emotions lately, as well as feeling proud, happy (for her), love, I'm also feeling lost, angry, resentful.
I know that my husband cannot help the way he feels, but I guess I can't help the way I'm feeling too.
I just hope these feelings don't stay.


Wow, I can't quite believe I just wrote all that lol.
So anyway, hi *waves*
Jess x

[MadeleineG]

Hi Jess! Welcome to the site.

I'm glad you've come here. Significant Others need and deserve lots of support. After all, you've known about your spouse's dysphoria for two years, but she's known* all her life.

There are other SO's here for you to chat/commiserate with (including my own), other non-SO cis people, and even some very friendly trans* folk who you might get along with.

Pull up a chair, pour yourself a tall glass of (insert preference here), and get as comfy as possible.

Were thrilled to have you,

Gwynne.

[Stochastic]

Welcome Jess  . Your strength through difficult times and willingness to help your spouse is inspiring. My cis wife and I are working together to address similar circumstances. There are a number of great SO's here that can help with concerns you may have.

Take care,
Julia

[Crackpot]

Hi Jessica and welcome to the board.

Your story is a lot like mine in a sense. My wife is also MTF and on the board. We've been together since we were 19 and that's when she told me about her feelings but that she would never do it. Fast forward to now, we're both 27 and it's all happening. She's been on hormones now for about 4? months now and she's planning to tell family in January.

It's completely normal to be having the feelings you are. Even though you are supportive of your spouse, it's a huuuuge change that you need to get used to and a little mourning is to be expected. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just like in your other post you just need to take things as they come. You mentioned fears of not feeling the same way after the transition, but feelings on that subject are to relax and deal with it IF it comes up. You never know, it may not be an issue for you at all so why stress out about it now? Your partner is going to be the same person you fell in love with. For me, it gave me new things to love. Even though my wife is the same person, I love to see her so much more HAPPY than she ever was. It's hard to explain. I knew her for so long, and saw her happy and thought this was as happy as she can get.... but then she started to transition and I see how happy she can actually be. To me that alone makes it worth it.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Hi Jessica,

Welcome to our little family. Over 9102 members. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another SO.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

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Janet  )O(

[Shantel]

Hi Jessica,
         Welcome dear! I came out 20 years ago, my wife and I are still married and on year 44 together. She was my childhood sweetheart and though it's been difficult for her at times we have talked a lot, sometimes for hours and over time she adjusted and I made some concessions as we fully intend to grow old together hand in hand. It's not easy, there are emotions for both and a good supply of tissue is a good to have on hand. Wishing you both well in this new adventure, we're all here for you! ~Shan~

[Vera]

Hi Jessica,
         Welcome dear! I came out 20 years ago, my wife and I are still married and on year 44 together. She was my childhood sweetheart and though it's been difficult for her at times we have talked a lot, sometimes for hours and over time she adjusted and I made some concessions as we fully intend to grow old together hand in hand. It's not easy, there are emotions for both and a good supply of tissue is a good to have on hand. Wishing you both well in this new adventure, we're all here for you! ~Shan~

I love what Shan says here (which I've bolded) This has been my experience with my SO over the years, but it sure was difficult when I first found out she's trans. Now, 11 years or so later (I've lost track of when she came out to me), things are pretty darn good. The bumps we come across are significantly easier to face now than they were when things were still new. Welcome, from a fellow newbie to the board!

[Jessica Merriman]

Welcome baby! I love your name by the way. I am so glad you are supportive and learning all you can. I know the support you will need is just as important as hers. We will all help however we can. Feel free to vent as well as share the good news in your relationship. We are all family here and take care of our own. You now have a tremendous support and education place to go. Thank you for standing with her! HUGGLES!