Does anyone else not really care what their family calls them?

[Antagonist]

I know that I'm FTM and that I want to present and pass as male in society. I have a male name picked out that I want to change my birth name to and everything. But that's more how I want to present myself to the world. To strangers, potential employers, etc. I know I'll never pass 100% with my family simple because they knew me all my life and know I'm trans.

But that doesn't bother me. If the rest of the world can see me as a man, I'm totally comfortable if my family keeps calling me my birth name and all nicknames associated with it. It would almost be weird if they didn't, as if I'm not me anymore. I still me, I just want to be thought of as male. If the people closest to me want to keep calling me by my birth name where no strangers can hear, that's fine. Does anyone else feel like this?

[Gina Taylor]

This brings back a memory of a TG sister that I knew back in 2005. She had 4 teenage daughters, and they all called her 'Daddy'.

Now when they were out shopping and if they got seperated, and if they saw her, they would calll out "Daddy". Now of course all sorts of male heads would turn and she would be the only one to respond.

Now unlike yourself, she didn't care if it was at home or outside, so it's something that you're gonna have to get use to.

[Devlyn]

Call me anything but late for dinner! Hugs, Devlyn

[Ltl89]

Having acceptance from my family is the most important thing to me.  Their my blood and they mean the world to me.  If I can't be accepted by the ones that matter the most, then what do I have?  It's a major issue for me and that's why I dwell on it so much.  Of course, I want the recognition from strangers too, but they are nowhere near the same level of importance as my family.  Having said all that, I'm glad you are okay either way with how your family will take it.

[BunnyBee]

It matters a great deal to me that my family sees me for who i actually am.  I can't think of anything that matters more to me than that.

[Simon]

I see it as a respect issue. The only person I allow to use any pronoun with me is my 84 year old grandpa. He was the first person to accept me, first to call me Simon consistently, and sometimes he slips on pronouns. He's really sick right now but even when he was healthy I didn't care. Anyone else in my family finds out quickly that if they don't respect me then they won't be in my life.

[Jessica Merriman]

I know how my family feels about it. The one saving grace for them was I was adopted so I am not considered a blood line failure on their part. They did think it was selfish for me being Transgendered after all they did for me to raise me. People can sure be weird! 

[Antonia J]

As long as my family supports and accepts me, I don't really mind what they call me.

[izzy]

It does matter what my family calls me. It would bother me more if my family completely ignored me by not seeing me. I would rather be called by my female name.

[MadeleineG]

As long as there is effort demonstrated to make progress towards proper name and pronoun use, I'm comfortable with the gradual release of the status quo. Superficial change takes most people time and work; why should we assume that essential change will be less daunting for people?

[Edge]

I don't care about my family, so I don't care what they call me. They've called me worse things.

[Declan.]

I care, but I try not to let it get to me. I doubt they'll ever stop calling me by my birth name or misgendering me. Not all of them do, but the ones who've known me the longest do. They know it's not something I'm going to put up with in public or around people who don't know about my past, though. They know I'll go home if they do it. So they're respectful of that, at least. I don't care for being embarrassed.

[Natkat]

I dont care too much on my parrent.
In the start I did care but it was more of a statement and because it became messy in public.
but if my parrent slip in there pronounce or anything then I know its because it takes time for them to get used to a new name. Had a few friends who also change there name and gender so I know whats it like to change these sentence in your head that. I decided to give them the time they needed not to push so now they call my by my prefern name and mostly prefern pronounce but its mixed.

[Emo]

i dont mind parents calling me by how they know me.
my problem is other ppl. even looking like a guy, i cringe when someone refurs to me as a man. im comfortable wit boy, girl, or woman. but not man.
not sure why..

[kelly_aus]

My family are generally pretty good at getting right, so I don't get too fussed when family slip up.. They usually correct themselves. And, oddly, it never happens in public.

[VeronicaLynn]

My family almost always calls me by a diminutive form of my birth name, which can be unisex. I'd personally prefer everyone to just call me by my initials at this point, but as a kid I fought hard to get them to call me what they call me, so I'm fine with that, even if they don't always use it. It never dawned on me until recently that I actually like the initials just fine, and should have just went with them all the time, because initials are always unisex, even if they are more often used as names by guys.

[Jayne]

For the first year or two I didn't mind too much as I wasn't on HRT, now that i've been on HRT for 4 months it's really getting under my skin that my mum still uses my old name.
I don't know if i'm just being more sensitive about this name but it seems like my mum goes out of her way to use this name more than before I came out, it's like every sentence has to be started with the use of this name, even when it's just me & her in the room as if her using this name will somehow prevent me from transitioning.
I'm close to the point of snapping with this, she divorced my dad 20yrs ago & re-married in less than a year, I had to accept it or move out of the family home, if she keeps using my old name then i'll start calling her Mrs "insert Dads surname here, i've had to adjust to her making changes in her life so it's about time she paid me the same level of respect, I think giving her 3 yrs to come to terms with it is patience enough

Sorry for the rant but you've managed to hit a raw nerve

[Lesley_Roberta]

When your mom introduces her 'son' as her daughter, it is going to be a problem.

When your sister remarks her younger sister (you) and then adds some comment, it will be a problem.

When one of your children points you out in conversation as 'mom' it will be a problem.

When you are referred to as uncle not aunt, it will be a problem.

The name used is not always an issue based on the name. I am not Leslie I am Lesley. Not that it matters much when they always use Les. But if you are going from a blatantly female name to and utterly male name, it will grate on the nerves potentially. Going from Jane to Frank will be significant, and I can't picture a person liking being called Jane and looking like a Frank.

The thing is, as was pointed out, we were once all infants, and that means you were thought of exactly as you looked like naked.
My mom changed a little boys body and put a little boy into little boys clothing.

Telling everyone I am a woman, it loses something if I can't get changed with them in the correct change room and not stand there anatomically correct to my view of myself. Taking off a dress and then lingerie, and putting on a swim suit and not having some things just there to see tends to intrude on the desired image.

My mom is in the hospital, and if she needs to see a nurse and it involves a degree of undress, mom is going to feel awkward undressing in front of her 'son'. That is unlikely to change, and it tends to really slam home the truth of why so many of us refuse to avoid the operation.

I am not defined by my genitals, but, they most certainly limit my freedom all the same.

My mom accepts me fully, but, the ability to see me as her son likely will never turn off in favour of my being seen as a daughter until I can strip naked, expose minor breast development, and expose a vagina to view before putting them into a female swim suit or underwear.

Until I can walk around in a nighty and expose female genitals if I am not careful, I don't expect anyone to really see me as a woman.
Calling me Lesley Roberta what do much, if I know they are still seeing Leslie Robert.

[Declan.]

I am not Leslie I am Lesley. Not that it matters much when they always use Les. But if you are going from a blatantly female name to and utterly male name, it will grate on the nerves potentially.

It may be a regional thing, but Leslie is a very common name here and only women have it. I've never met a Lesley or a boy named Leslie. I wasn't even aware it was ever used as a male name until I looked it up.

[Lesley_Roberta]

It may be a regional thing, but Leslie is a very common name here and only women have it. I've never met a Lesley or a boy named Leslie. I wasn't even aware it was ever used as a male name until I looked it up.

Yeah in the 90s on ICQ I was 'Sarge' (due to a fondness for military subjects), but I said in details my name is Leslie. EEEEEvery guy opened the chat with some variation of what colour are my panties? And I was usually WHAT? my name is Sarge, are you that thick? But nope, my name was Leslie had to be a girl. Leslie Frost, Leslie Nielsen so many famous Leslie's but when I answer the phone it is often someone looking for Mrs Leslie.

I have sent the wife with my credit card (for ID) to postal sub station to pick up a parcel and they just never think twice that she isn't me.

I know many female Leslies personally, but no male Leslies personally.

Used to find it annoying, but, then  had my awakening, and decided well I need a distinct break, needed a different name on a technical level and the variation of Lesley while not common, sounds pretty to my ears.

I can't even begin to think of what other female name I might pick. I have this idea, that you become your name over time. But  have enough change on my plate now