Wife of MtF Woman Needs Advice on Extreme Mood Swings

[tehshort1]

My MtF Wife has been taking hormones to transition for about 3 months. I have noticed a huge increase in her mood swings at almost the drop of a hat. I am nervous because she has a history of depression and anger issues. Last night I made a comment regarding a conversation with a friend and she took it completely wrong. She insisted that I somehow didn't care about her and has now refused to talk to me for 24 hours. I am 8 months pregnant with our child and fight depression myself. The stress that she has been putting on me is extreme with the mood swings. One minute she loves me and tells me how happy she is that I have been so supportive and the next she insists that I don't listen to her and that she wants to leave me. Is this normal? Do I need to worry? I have been so stressed out about whether she will even be there when I get home - or worse! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[Cindy]

Hi hon,
Is she on Androcur? As an AA? It is notorious for depressive mood swings.

[tehshort1]

I believe the three she is on are estradiol, finosteride, and spironalactone. Not so sure I'm spelling them right.

[lilacwoman]

Getting on hormones usually makes for a happier person as the main stress is gone.   The history is normal though so just try carry on but maybe get some mental therapy for your partner.

[Cindy]

She may also be reacting to your hormonal changes as she will respond easily to female pheromone changes. It would be worthwhile talking to the therapist sooner than later

[Jessica Merriman]

Hi baby! Another thing you have to consider beside what Cindy said, is it has been only three months. You have to understand her body is functioning under a whole new hormonal system as well. There is an extra stress on her body right now as it adapts to Estrogen after being under the influence of Testosterone for how many years. I think it will level off in the near future as her body adapts a little more. The first 6 months or so can be really traumatic to the chemical, physical and emotional stability. Also if she recently accepted her transgender status it is like everything is hitting her at once. I think things will be OK. If you are really worried though and see something uncharacteristic about her thoughts, please contact her doctor or therapist. They may need to see her and adjust her medications or something else. Take care. Congratulations on the expected bundle of joy!

[Dahlia]

. I am 8 months pregnant with our child and fight depression myself. The stress that she has been putting on me is extreme with the mood swings.

OMG!!!! I feel so sorry for you! I wish you and the baby all the good luck!

[Jenna Marie]

Yeah, the problem is that early HRT can be a lot like early pregnancy in terms of wild hormone fluctuations and equally wild mood swings. I'm so sorry that you're going through this, and especially while you *are* pregnant. Good luck.

[tehshort1]

Thank you all for your support. At least I know that it is not just me going crazy. I suppose the only thing I can really do at this time is give her her space and hope that she will come around and be willing to talk about it eventually.

I don't want her to think that she wasn't right in the being hurt. Her feelings based on what she interpreted are justified. The comment that started all of this is that I am Wiccan and I made the comment that it was nice talking to someone else (one of our friends) about the religion.Gwen (my wife) and I talk about it often but we don't have many other friends who can talk intelligently on the subject. She took it as I was saying that it was nice talking to someone else about it - she insisted I was implying that she does not speak intelligently about it and/or that I don't enjoy talking to her about it. That was not it at all! I LOVE LOVE LOVE talking with her. She is extremely intelligent and is a fount of knowledge. I was trying to say it was nice talking to a friend about it outside of *us* as a couple. I don't have many friends and am generally a very shy person - I don't talk to people alot. She immediately became cold and didn't want to talk with me at all and that is where we are now. I hate that she thinks I don't enjoy talking with her and that I would actually bad mouth her like that. I really would never! 

[Jessica Merriman]

I am sure you are forgiven baby! A lot of emotions and body changes for you both right now, relax, it will be fine. 

[muffinpants]

If you don't mind my asking, how long have the two of you been together? Your comment appears completely innocent, it just seems like your partner is having major insecurities. Does she have confidence issues? My gf and I have been together going on 9 years, and I'd say for the first... 4 or so I behaved the way your gf does now. I had some major issues and insecurities to work through, though, and with my gf's help, I've been able to overcome pretty much all of them. I feel like a happy, healthy, and whole person now. I still have my bouts of depression, but I'm not as insecure as I used to be! And it could be hormonal.. I was more crazy like when I was going through puberty.. kind of.. it extended into adulthood.. and since my gf started transition, her personality has only changed in that her happiness and serenity in life has increased ten fold. I haven't had to deal with any sort of mood swings from her! I guess it's different for everyone, though.