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[Ltl89]

I wish someone could tell me what this dam P word means to them. Does it mean they can drive their car with a wig on and nobody stares at them?

Does it mean they can walk down the street and nobody stares at them?

Does it mean they can make friends with people without ever  being questioned?

Does it mean they can change in a women's locker room?

Perhaps it really means someone need to really think about if they are a woman or something else. If someone is a woman there is no reason to ask such questions now is there?

Katie

Passing generally means that people see the person in question as female and don't question whether they are trans or not.  They are just seen as a woman.  Whether they are a woman internally or not, people that are read as male or trans aren't considered to pass.  At the moment, I appear in between female and male (I'm in the awkward early hrt phase), but I am becoming much more feminine by the day.  Internally, I feel like a woman and have felt female for most of my life, but I wouldn't claim that I pass until everyone else sees me as female without issue or questioning.  Right now all of the stares I recieve tell me that even in boy mode people are not sure what's really going on.  But that's part of the developing phase and one day I will be able to present the right way without having much issue.  So, yes you can identify as female and feel as such, but still feel concerned that people are gendering you one way or the other.  It's actually a legitimate concern for many transwomen and it doesn't say anything about their gender.

To the Op and people who still see them as...

If its family who are the ones who are not really noticing/still referring to you by.. well IMO its somewhat understandable, I only say this at this point because this year after my srs my mother and most my family get it, and well while they are referring to me as a girl and my mom is treating me like my sister now, it has brought up some interesting conversation between my mom and I . as growing up parent/sibling/relative learn who you are and are "conditioned " to seeing you as your old, when you change from him to her or her to him and all the noun, pro-noun's, etc. it can take a bit if not happening at all. The biggest thing to not lose focus on is. do they love you? if so than it will have to be forgivable. even I if you are 100% flawless passable, they love you and that should be all that matters. Of my family I would of thought my mother would have never understood, but after srs it was a total 180 on her part she finally realized how much it meant and that is wasn't a want but a need and that old was really painful, and even traumatic to me.  now my sister on the other hand well she still isn't coming around and thinks that.... well she doesn't really get it, but I excuse her as I know she loves me but is having a hard time understanding me even after 10 years  but the good new is we talk more now and its nice.
point being is if they love you, than forgive them, and let it be. if it happens than it happens if not well... their family 

That's a good point.  My family doesn't use the right pronouns because it's still hard for them.  I really hope they come around and understand that my tears and pain should mean something; nonetheless, I realize it's also a learning process and they need to adjust.  It's been hard for my mother to be "losing her son" and my sister to lose her "baby brother".  I wish I could make it easier for everyone involved.   To be honest, I think that's why most family members don't "see" anything.  It's not that they don't really see your progress but they just don't want to acknowledge or address it.   For example, my mom noticed my breast growth for a while (I see her stares), but she didn't verbally say anything until recently because it's just too painful for her.  Therefore, I wouldn't believe that anyone's family really doesn't see the changes. 

[Joanna Dark]

@katie: I believe it mans they can make friends with people without ever being questioned. I'm there almost excpet i havent had laser. Until then, I will be seen as female until thelights are turned on or i hang out for more then five hours. The shadow is just too much and its not even a lot. One laser sesssion and I won't pass as male.

[Missadventure]

It takes a lot of girls months to get past the fear of standing out, the loss of family and friends, or the economic pitfalls that can arise.  I'll admit to being one of them.  But the best medicine, and in my opinon a very good way to feel complete is to go full time.  Almost everyone I know who's gone full time quickly find their worries fade away, and that nothing else really mattered.  You just become the woman you are, and in fact there's a point where a girl cant avoid denying their life and absolutely have to go full time.

But if some of us still struggle, I'll help when I can. 

K

I think this is the route I plan on going. Sink or swim has enabled me to overcome every obstacle I've dealt with in life. As much as it absolutely terrifies the ever loving crap out of me, I'm hoping this will be the same.

[Tori]

There are many reasons why people close to you won't say much.

Many are afraid they may be seen as rude or that they may say the wrong thing or the right thing the wrong way. My mom fears saying the wrong thing so much she often apologizes for things I take no offense from. It is like, now that she knows I am female between the ears, she thinks I can't process things without getting super emotional. It is kinda' cute.

Then there are people like my dad. He loves me unconditionally, he just has no clue how to address trans topics unless I lead him in the discussion. So, we talk about sports and the weather... mundane stuff.

I think it can be a shock to transitioners how little others may say to them about their transition. But how much do we talk to cis folk about being cis? I think many of our loved ones recognize our transition for what it is before we do: Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

[MiaOhMya!]

Isn't passing simply being perceived by others as the same image one wishes to display?

For me it took time...hormones...practice.

[brianna1016]

Isn't passing simply being perceived by others as the same image one wishes to display?

For me it took time...hormones...practice.

That's what I think it is. I know most people can tell I'm trans if they study me long enough...but I am being treated as a woman by everyone. It sure feels nice. Especially when a man treats me like a woman. Omg I loooove that feeling.

[Allie]

This thread couldn't come at a better time for me. I feel like my transition is stuck in between male and female, it's very depressing. I feel like a bull in a china shop

Reading through these posts gives me some hope. Patience patience...