Static or Dynamic dilation?

[anjaq]

Hi.
I posted some months ago about my issue - I had lost width and depth of my vagina due to not dilating enough over the years, so I finally decided to get myself in shape again and with the help of this forum I came a lon gway. I got the Soul Source dilators as suggested here and they are great. I worked my way up from about 4 inches depth and the smallest of the dilators (purple) to 5-5.5 inches depth (depending on the dilator) and the feared big #4 "Orange monster" actually works now, albeit only after some time with #3 "Mr Green". Sorry for the funny names .

Now up to now i basically did only static dilation. I inserted the dilators, left them in for many minutes, sometimes took them out, replaced them or moved them a bit. In total it was usually about 2 hours a day, sometimes i managed 2x a day an hour, usually only 1x a day in the evening 2 hours or more.

someone mentioned static vs dynamic dilation now and i wondered what are your experiences with these - are there advantages to that, can I reduce dilation time with them, or what do you generally suggest for me now?

The situation is now, I can fit the #3 green Soul source dilator without too much pain, but it takes some effort. If I have left it for a while, I can use the #4 orange dilator (1 1/2") with similar initial effort. When that is in for a while, I can replace it with little effort, but some discomfort. What do you think I should do now - just keep going, start dynamic dilation? Go faster to orange and not stay for an hour with the green one first? Reduce time? Increase time or frequency? I feel like it still is not there yet - it is uncomfortable still with both sizes initially, so I feel i could not have intimate contact without preparation now. But i feel like there is little progress in the past weeks...

thanks for your advice

[Vicky]

The largest of the Soul Source dilators I was given is the Mint colored one that I have disaffectionately named Micky aka Micky Mint. You are not the only one who gives your "boyfriends" names.  Green plastic does not sound as personal or erotic!!  My recommended time to begin with was only 20 minutes max, and began with the insertion.  Move it around TO YOUR COMFORT, but moving it around gently but often has me nice and loose, and I can definitely feel it pleasantly throughout my vagina, including the underside of the prostate, which is very pleasant to play with with the up curved tip of Micky.  I am very relaxed doing it that way, and pumping the boy in and out a bit has helped me keep my depth to the top white dot (6.5 inches) being just inside my labia majora, and the one nearer the tip (6 inches) at the actual entrance ring of the vagina.  I do put mine in as far as it can go, and then push to just the moment I can feel it firmly at the end and put a bit of pressure on it until it is barely uncomfortable, and then hold in for moment or two.  I pull it back, twist it around, and repeat.  I checked with my surgeon's office, and they told me it was my thing to do and if it was working don't quit.   

I don't know if what I do is considered Dynamic dilation, but it is not boring, and I have not read any good books while dilating.  I am under instruction to do that nightly 'til death do me depart, but it is part of my routine and I can relax while I do it.  You can get so great feelings by moving the dilator in different ways, and moving it around like a nice flesh colored dilator could do!!    I have not yet tried any other toys though, and where the hell is a boyfriend when you need one??

[anjaq]

Sounds like you are enjoying it a lot there - I must admit, I had also a bi tmore fun in the first months after I was allowed to. I did not have dilators, only toys and I bought a lot of them actually - so that was kind of a fun period but I kind of lost it a bit later and nowadays (years later) it is not really comfortable yet again and that makes it more a choire than a fun event. Thats why I want to get all fixed to a degree that it is more fun than that again and if that is reached and 20 minutes are enough, I certainly dont need to read and chat anymore - my post count and IRC time will drop then

[Vicky]

I think you will end up being fine and being able to get pleasure from your body.  I seem to have been lucky in what I did and where, but I know that I have to do my part or it is not going to stay with me.  I just turned 66 and my surgery anniversary is a week from tomorrow.  Regret that I did not get it earlier will do me no good, but you younger chic's all should have the world as far as I am concerned.  Keep up your program, it will be fine. 

[Beyond]

I started out doing static the first couple years, but for the last several years I have moved to what I think you would call dynamic.  I do a couple different things.  I take the dilator out a couple times and reinsert during different parts of the session.  I also rotate the base of the dilator (think of it as slowly stirring with a spoon in a drink) and that helps relax the PC (pubo-coccygeal) muscles which in turn makes dilation more comfortable.  I also use those same muscles to draw the dilator in and then relax.  Conversely you can also use the muscles to push the dilator out.

Although I'm 6+ years out I still like to dilate 2-3 times a week.

[anjaq]

that helps relax the PC (pubo-coccygeal) muscles which in turn makes dilation more comfortable.  I also use those same muscles to draw the dilator in and then relax.  Conversely you can also use the muscles to push the dilator out.
Although I'm 6+ years out I still like to dilate 2-3 times a week.

Wow 2-3 times a week, thats quite a bit. But probably helps. I definitely could use some more relaxation - I feel a bit tense, especially if there is discomfort or some minor pain - right now, I cannot really draw anything in - if I do not push in, the dilator will be pushed out. So I guess I have still a lot of sessions to do. It frustrates me a bit as I seem to not get any noticeable improvements as of late. It is more or less the same for the last 3 weeks or so. Maybe I reached the limit, which would suck, as in that case I am not sure I can be comfortable with it and I dont want revision surgery or anything like that. I will keep trying and also try that more dynamic approach at times, maybe it helps.

[lilacwoman]

I find that I definitely get looser if once inserted I clamp my legs together as tight as possible.

I'm not sure why unless it forces the muscles to move around the dilator in way that doesn't happen with legs apart.

[Beyond]

Wow 2-3 times a week, thats quite a bit.

Well I got slightly under average depth so I've always been paranoid about losing what I have.  As a result I have religiously dilated since surgery and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

[anjaq]

Well I got slightly under average depth so I've always been paranoid about losing what I have.  As a result I have religiously dilated since surgery and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

Yeah makes sense. I am probably more than slightly under average (what is under average anyways?). It was so stupid of me to go down to monthly and bimonthly dilation with an inadequate tool. I hope to get to a point where it will be down to 2 times a week for 20 minutes...

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi anjag,

What do you think I should do now - just keep going, start dynamic dilation? Go faster to orange and not stay for an hour with the green one first? Reduce time? Increase time or frequency? I feel like it still is not there yet - it is uncomfortable still with both sizes initially, so I feel i could not have intimate contact without preparation now. But i feel like there is little progress in the past weeks...

thanks for your advice

Congratulations on your recent success. I'm really pleased you have been able to achieve such results in a short time. Don't feel self conscious about naming those charming little devices. I've got names for mine too. No4 has been nick named "Divide and Conquer". If you didn't have a split personality before using it, you soon will have. 

The good news is, if you're up to the orange one, you are in the safe zone for penetrative sex. My surgeon suggested I only use it should i want to go that way. (Oh BTW, do you have any eligible brother at home?  ) otherwise the green No 3 would suffice.

In answer to your questions. Never having done dynamic dilations and not understanding its concept or benefit, I can't comment. I may suggest say 5-10 minutes with No 3 then spend 20-30 minutes with No 4. I'm not sure whether a single hour has an advantage over say two 20 minute sessions with respects to training muscle memory. Perhaps more frequently with less time.

In my first 12 weeks post, I dilated 6 times a day for 30 minutes. The average insertion time was 3-5 minutes. I'm now down to 4 times a day with the average increasing to 8-13 minutes. From February on I go to 2 a day. I suspect the average may increase.

With the awesome achievements you've had so far, I wouldn't be too concerned if you can handle the No4. I feel you'd be ready for the real thing. Remembering the real thing has more give and flexibility than those charming dilators. 

Keep up the fabulous work.

Huggs
Catherine

[anjaq]

Thank you, Catherine
Yeah naming them was kind of fun.

The good news is, if you're up to the orange one, you are in the safe zone for penetrative sex. My surgeon suggested I only use it should i want to go that way. (Oh BTW, do you have any eligible brother at home?  ) otherwise the green No 3 would suffice.

Well the green is ok - just slightly tight now, but to get to orange I need to spend some time with the green. So I guess for now I cannot say that I am ready for anything. I am not sure what you meant about the brother though.
What I did however was to get a more flexible fancy fun-toy-thingy that is slightly less in diameter than the orange monster.

In answer to your questions. Never having done dynamic dilations and not understanding its concept or benefit, I can't comment. I may suggest say 5-10 minutes with No 3 then spend 20-30 minutes with No 4.

So I guess the concept is that with static as I do it now it basically is inserting the dilator and keeping it in place and read a book while with dynamic dilation it is more active and it is inserved several times or moved around. I do some moving but not too much and wonder if that may be useful. I remember from the past dilations that using a vibrator and not a dilator can make things easier if it has a low setting that just relaxes the muscles a bit, but of course it cannot provide dilation, so I think I will maybe try a sequence... 40 minutes is much less than I am used to now. I wonder if that is enough, but I think I am spending always way too much time with the smaller diameter...
I noticed however that it seems to be easier to dilate for depth with the smaller diameters, so I may actually try and go back to the smaller ones for that since that part is not really that amazing yet. I am glad I regained that one inch that I did (a bit more than 2 dots on the soul source dilators), but still, 5 inches is not great yet... maybe I can improve though I feel I am reaching a limit there.

In my first 12 weeks post, I dilated 6 times a day for 30 minutes. The average insertion time was 3-5 minutes. I'm now down to 4 times a day with the average increasing to 8-13 minutes. From February on I go to 2 a day. I suspect the average may increase.

Ok - 4 times a day is not possible, 2 times is very hard to do for me already. I may try it though mornings/evenings. How do you determine if it is "done" (how do you determine that the time had to increase when you reduced frequency?)

With the awesome achievements you've had so far, I wouldn't be too concerned if you can handle the No4. I feel you'd be ready for the real thing. Remembering the real thing has more give and flexibility than those charming dilators. 

Well, the #4 is not easy at all now, so I guess it still needs time. I wonder if I should somehow get the equivalent of a #5 in order to make it so that the #4 will be easier at some point? I am not sure I could do a #5 though. I am a bit concerned about the depth though. I will try the "simulation of a real thing" for now, with the softer toy - lets see how that goes. The real real thing - I am not sure what this will be. I am sexually underdeveloped - I have no real clue as to what might be good experiences. I will try and be open for encounters this year though. At least once the dilation is in a good state. After I read a horrible page with all warnings about trying it with a guy without being open about the surgery that was done up front, I am not sure I want this - maybe I should try and find some nice butch who likes strap ons - I seriously have no clue. But thats another topic...

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi anjaq,
Apologies for mis spelling your name. (A thousand lashes for the woman)

I am not sure what you meant about the brother though.

I was implying as to whether you had any brothers at home of a marriageable status. I prefer to marry someone whom I have friends with. If I never ask, I'll never know. 

I noticed however that it seems to be easier to dilate for depth with the smaller diameters, so I may actually try and go back to the smaller ones for that since that part is not really that amazing yet.

There is a theory going round, you sacrifice depth for width. I haven't experienced that myself yet. I still have the 5.5in depth I had at first.

How do you determine if it is "done" (how do you determine that the time had to increase when you reduced frequency?)

I think it's pretty much a suck it and see. My original instructions were 5X daily for 20 minutes, weeks 1-8. Then 3X daily, weeks 9-26. Weeks 27-52 once daily, then 2-3 times a week till death do us part. As I was a slightly higher risk of stenosis I went 6X for weeks 1-12, 4X weeks 13-26. Weeks 27-52, twice, then probably 3X a week.

Dr.McGinns parting words were " It's not rocket science. If you feel you're getting tight or losing depth, just do it more often with more pressure."

Well, the #4 is not easy at all now, so I guess it still needs time. I wonder if I should somehow get the equivalent of a #5 in order to make it so that the #4 will be easier at some point? I am not sure I could do a #5 though.

OMG. A No 5 would have to be 1 5/8 inch. That's telegraph pole territory  . I'd suggest a No 5 only if you're panning parking your car in there over night. 

I am sexually underdeveloped - I have no real clue as to what might be good experiences. I will try and be open for encounters this year though.

Aren't we all, underdeveloped. It's just soooooo different this side of the fence. I've often toyed with the idea of going to a brothel that has guys. However this is a wrestling match I have with respects to my feminine spirituality. Sex on this side of the fence is a whole new story. Giving someone the right to penetrate bears no resemblance to being the penetrator. Worlds apart.

Anyhow, keep in touch. I'm interested in knowing what further success you have.

Love
Catherine

[anjaq]

Hi, Catherine

There is a theory going round, you sacrifice depth for width. I haven't experienced that myself yet. I still have the 5.5in depth I had at first.

Oh that would not be nice as I have too little of both. But I think it is more like - with smaller sizes I can make a way more to the inside and then I can widen that opening. That is how it felt when I regained that inch anyways, dont know if it can apply to gain new territory

Dr.McGinns parting words were " It's not rocket science. If you feel you're getting tight or losing depth, just do it more often with more pressure."

Ah - more often but not longer - is that so?

I am trying something new. I got a nice bendable toy that I am trying to insert and just fall asleep with it - a friend of mine does that and she suggested it to me. Coul dbe good for the muscle relaxation in sleep to do something else than the normal way.

OMG. A No 5 would have to be 1 5/8 inch. That's telegraph pole territory  . I'd suggest a No 5 only if you're panning parking your car in there over night. 

Well maybe a 4.5 then. Just to do something tomake that #4 fit without pain

Aren't we all, underdeveloped. It's just soooooo different this side of the fence..... Giving someone the right to penetrate bears no resemblance to being the penetrator. Worlds apart.

No I meant really UNDERDEVELOPED
I never ever penetrated anyone. So I was never really on that other side of the fence, but I was basically asexual as long as I did not have the genital reconstruction in my mid 20ies. I had a lesbian encounter though so I was not totally celibate - post op I had two relationships with women but sexuality was still a problem for me for I was basically a newbie to it. I think that played part in the breakups. Then 10 years nothing until now. So I still am underdeveloped in that I did not have many intimate encounters any side of the fence...which is not good at my age, almost 40 ... and now what - I actually consider men to be a viable possible option...