The Proverbial Hindsight

[Anatta]

Kia Ora,

This is more so for the 'late' transitioner (and I guess the de-transitioner too)

If you knew back then(prior to starting your transition) what you know now(completed or part way through transition), would things have developed differently ? (Would you have done things differently )?


Metta Zenda

[Jamie D]

Absolutely different.  I never got to transition. 

But if I had a chance to turn back the clock, knowing what I know now of the past 40 years, I would not do that either.

[Adam (birkin)]

Knowing about transition earlier would have had positives and negatives. On the negative side, I didn't have a lot of confidence as a teen and was dealing with so many other issues, and in a way, not knowing I could transition made it easier. As much as I felt bad about being female, I didn't think there was anything I could do, so I put my energy into other areas.

It would have been positive though because I'd have been able to go into uni as a guy. I probably also would have grown taller on T and had more pronounced changes if I started it younger. I imagine I'd have had all my surgeries by now.

[suzifrommd]

If you knew back then(prior to starting your transition) what you know now(completed or part way through transition), would things have developed differently ? (Would you have done things differently )?

Great question, Anatta.

I was ripped off and mistreated by a number of psychotherapists. Not sure how I'd avoid it, but when one made me wait for 3 months for an appointment I should have done elsewhere. I should have looked harder for gender therapist who was understanding rather than one my insurance company would support.

[JoanneB]

I look at this question a bit differently since in ways I did sort of de-transition and re-transitioned... sort of. With 30 or years in between.

It is hard to say what I know has changed vs what lessons and personal growth took place during those years, especially the last 5 years. What I knew on an intellectual level certainly is no different. Emotionally is far different. A minor(?) factor is also the cultural changes that have taken place over the past 40 years. Again, this helps with the emotional lessons and hardships.

Sure, some things could have been done differently. I doubt the results would have been different. I just plain was not ready emotionally for transitioning. Today, I probably am able to handle it, yet the need or drive to just is not as strong. Thanks largely to the personal growth these past 5 years.

[Jill F]

I hate playing the "what if" game.  It never ends well.

What happened, happened.  And I'm fine with that.  Where I am now is great and I am who I am now because of where I've been.