Non-transitioning and presentation (and hormones)

[helen2010]

Satinjoy
Your story certainly resonates with me.  Three factors have provided me with almost instant and complete respite from what I sensed was becoming a potentially fetishistic cross dressing compulsion/intense dysphoria -  hrt, the emerging consensus that nature rather than nurture most likely caused me to be transgender and social media.  Without hrt providing dysphoria relief, emotional richness and facilitating a truer and very much self authored expression of my identity (which is somewhere between mta and mtf) my marriage, key relationships and sanity would not have been sustained.   I give thanks that the situation and medical profession/science that faced me in the 1970s no longer exists.  HRT and improved understanding of brain science has helped me find peace and acceptance.  Social media has helped find information, end isolation and gain a new sense of community and support.  Living at this time has indeed been a blessing.

[Satinjoy]

Yes please, I'll have what she's having! The fetishistic compulsions drive me absolutely up the wall.

I love this comment.  And I feel validated, since I live to the world outside my door as a male, this is the first time anyone ever called me she, and it feels WONDERFUL.

Yeah the hormones changed things big time.  The right choice for me, and the girl in the mirror and inside my skin is looking so much better.

I actually can smile when I see myself in the mirror.  And say I Love You.  I couldn't do that for 55 years, until this dysphoria broke me like a twig and I started the path of acceptance.

[Arcee]

I love this comment.  And I feel validated, since I live to the world outside my door as a male, this is the first time anyone ever called me she, and it feels WONDERFUL.

I'm glad to be the first. Hopefully I won't be the last.

Yeah the hormones changed things big time.  The right choice for me, and the girl in the mirror and inside my skin is looking so much better.

I actually can smile when I see myself in the mirror.  And say I Love You.  I couldn't do that for 55 years, until this dysphoria broke me like a twig and I started the path of acceptance.

One of my goals with HRT is to look in the mirror and SEE myself there, and another is to unblock the dam that's in my head, keeping me from really *feeling* emotions like I know intellectually I should. So your experience touches me on a very personal level, thank you. 

[Satinjoy]

Powerful thing, this whatever it is.  You helped me.

It's been a painful journey for me, and I am one of the luckiest ones.  There are days when I get close to the edge, all fear based and projecting.  Too much abuse in the past from others.

Many thanks girl.   

And to everyone else here too.

Going to be an interesting therapy session Monday.  I'm going to stick with it, I still need it.