Being a girl.

Calder Smith · January 18, 2014, 05:21:50 PM

For people who've already completed or are almost done with their transition: is there anything you miss or liked about being a girl?

Just asking out of curiosity.

Kreuzfidel · January 18, 2014, 08:03:25 PM

Quote from: Mr Hockey on January 18, 2014, 05:21:50 PM
For people who've already completed or are almost done with their transition: is there anything you miss or liked about being a girl?

Just asking out of curiosity.

I was never a girl - I just looked like one.

I don't miss anything about that facade or "role" that I played in that former life.

Calder Smith · January 18, 2014, 08:05:25 PM

Quote from: Kreuzfidel on January 18, 2014, 08:03:25 PM
I was never a girl - I just looked like one.

I don't miss anything about that facade or "role" that I played in that former life.

That's exactly how I feel. Although, I'm still pre-T.

TheNemo · January 18, 2014, 08:21:58 PM

Haha like Kreuzfidel said, I was never a girl, just my biological body was. I'm pre-T too (starting next month, YAY), but I've been presenting and passing as male for over 4 years. While there's not anything I miss about actually 'being' female... There's some benefits I'm glad I had. Like, I used to be friends with tons of girls who would talk to me about the guys, and now I know how to charm chicks well, and what works and what doesn't with them 😉 That was definitely a plus. But in terms of actually being female, like physically... No. There's nothing I miss. I can't wait until I can afford hormones and surgery so I can finally 100% be who I really am. And even after that stuff, I HIGHLY doubt there'll be anything that I miss.

My transition's been pretty hard up to this point, but let me tell you, once I came out, no matter how much ridicule I got, I've never regretted it, even once. If you're new to this stuff then my main advice is to be yourself and don't let other people make your decisions for you. It's not worth being unhappy. Good luck in your transition dude 🙂

Calder Smith · January 18, 2014, 08:29:58 PM

Quote from: TheNemo on January 18, 2014, 08:21:58 PM
Haha like Kreuzfidel said, I was never a girl, just my biological body was. I'm pre-T too (starting next month, YAY), but I've been presenting and passing as male for over 4 years. While there's not anything I miss about actually 'being' female... There's some benefits I'm glad I had. Like, I used to be friends with tons of girls who would talk to me about the guys, and now I know how to charm chicks well, and what works and what doesn't with them 😉 That was definitely a plus. But in terms of actually being female, like physically... No. There's nothing I miss. I can't wait until I can afford hormones and surgery so I can finally 100% be who I really am. And even after that stuff, I HIGHLY doubt there'll be anything that I miss.

My transition's been pretty hard up to this point, but let me tell you, once I came out, no matter how much ridicule I got, I've never regretted it, even once. If you're new to this stuff then my main advice is to be yourself and don't let other people make your decisions for you. It's not worth being unhappy. Good luck in your transition dude

Great answer. I agree that my biological body is a girl but I am not. For me, the only think I kind of like I guess you could say is being accepted by my family and friends. Everyone looks at me different now now that I've come out. I don't like anything physically either and I never have.

And, thanks man. 🙂 You're lucky. I haven't talked with my mom yet about starting T and I don't think she'd be too comfortable with it.

TheNemo · January 18, 2014, 09:09:51 PM

Quote from: Mr Hockey on January 18, 2014, 08:29:58 PM
Great answer. I agree that my biological body is a girl but I am not. For me, the only think I kind of like I guess you could say is being accepted by my family and friends. Everyone looks at me different now now that I've come out. I don't like anything physically either and I never have.

And, thanks man. 🙂 You're lucky. I haven't talked with my mom yet about starting T and I don't think she'd be too comfortable with it.

No problem. Always happy to help. And yeah, I totally know how you feel. I've been asking to get on T since I first came out, and it took 4 whole years for my mom to finally agree with it and say yes (and she's still making me pay for it myself! I'm saving for college, but I'll be dipping into my savings now. Oh well, it's worth it). And about asking your mom, just go for it. The worst thing she can say is no, right? My family members looked at me weird too when I first came out (and my friends completely stopped talking to me), but trust me, it gets better. Once they see how much happier you are living as a dude, they'll get used to it and eventually they'll be saying 'he' instead of 'she' without even thinking about it 🙂 so if you ever need any other advice or you just wanna talk, totally just PM me sometime. I haven't seen a lot of FTMs on here who are still living at home and started their transition so young, so I got your back man 😛

Calder Smith · January 18, 2014, 09:15:58 PM

Quote from: TheNemo on January 18, 2014, 09:09:51 PM
No problem. Always happy to help. And yeah, I totally know how you feel. I've been asking to get on T since I first came out, and it took 4 whole years for my mom to finally agree with it and say yes (and she's still making me pay for it myself! I'm saving for college, but I'll be dipping into my savings now. Oh well, it's worth it). And about asking your mom, just go for it. The worst thing she can say is no, right? My family members looked at me weird too when I first came out (and my friends completely stopped talking to me), but trust me, it gets better. Once they see how much happier you are living as a dude, they'll get used to it and eventually they'll be saying 'he' instead of 'she' without even thinking about it 🙂 so if you ever need any other advice or you just wanna talk, totally just PM me sometime. I haven't seen a lot of FTMs on here who are still living at home and started their transition so young, so I got your back man

Thanks! I really appreciate it. I have a really good friend and a cousin who support me but I still feel alone with all this. It'd be great to talk with another FTM.

Yeah, it's against the rules here to say your exact age if you're under 18 but I'm still a teenager living at home and it sucks I can't start my transition without a parent's consent.

aleon515 · January 18, 2014, 11:02:15 PM

Well I lived a pretty androgynous life and there are a lot of experiences I had which were wonderful, but I don't think I ever identified as being female as such.

--Jay

Ayden · January 18, 2014, 11:13:27 PM

I don't know that I miss anything. I still do the same things that I did two years ago. I just do them with more facial hair and a deeper voice.

I do miss one of shirts occasionally though. It was awesomely neon and tacky.

(Edit for punctuation.)

wheat thins are delicious · January 19, 2014, 12:15:05 AM

Quote from: Kreuzfidel on January 18, 2014, 08:03:25 PM
I was never a girl - I just looked like one.

I don't miss anything about that facade or "role" that I played in that former life.

yep

Erik Ezrin · January 19, 2014, 03:53:32 AM

I am not out yet, even though I'm relatively old (I thought I was mentally ill or something for the biggest part of my teenage years, and dove deep into denial to avoid bullying and self-loathing), but I agree with what all the others have said. There is nothing I miss, or would miss, because I'm not a girl. Even now I'm not out and not on T and get she-ed daily, I cannot think of myself of that elusive creature called a "girl". Lol.
I can't wait till other people also see me as who I am! 🙂 As even though I have plenty of male friends, they obviously treat me different than the other guys. And some of them even had crushes on me :0 (because I'm so "badass" they said...) which is of course... really awkward.

Adam (birkin) · January 19, 2014, 04:18:21 AM

Well, one thing I do miss about being perceived as female was not having to worry about things like which bathroom or change room to go in.

Mr.X · January 19, 2014, 04:18:49 AM

I agree that we all were never girls. We were females simply because our bodies are/were female. Those bloody xx chromosomes made sure of that. But the word girl is a social and cultural concept, and that's something we never were, or are.

That being said, I don't miss anything of being perceived female. But there was one thing that was a bit of a perk (as in, it was the only positive thing about it, but I don't miss it). As a perceived girl in the gamer community, I was a tough, cool gamer 'chick' (geesh, I hate that word. Why are girls compared to baby chickens? Fluffiness? Cuteness? They both peck?). Now I went from cool gamer girl to a nerdy, standard nerd. Not a loss I miss, but still mentionable.

Zarathoustra · January 19, 2014, 04:26:37 AM

No but I want always to be more male than I am !

sneakersjay · January 19, 2014, 07:22:31 AM

Don't miss a thing. And the farther I get from it, the more I forget about it.

AdamMLP · January 19, 2014, 09:14:20 AM

I miss the ease of being able to go to the toilet without worrying who else is in, because when I was obviously perceived female no one questioned it. I miss not having to sneak around printing documents off to prove to the NHS that they can treat me, and having this to worry about, but nothing from being perceived as a girl, or being brought up getting told that I was one is anything worth missing. I wouldn't stop being who I am for the world.

Calder Smith · January 19, 2014, 09:41:28 AM

Quote from: Mr.X on January 19, 2014, 04:18:49 AM
I agree that we all were never girls. We were females simply because our bodies are/were female. Those bloody xx chromosomes made sure of that. But the word girl is a social and cultural concept, and that's something we never were, or are.

That being said, I don't miss anything of being perceived female. But there was one thing that was a bit of a perk (as in, it was the only positive thing about it, but I don't miss it). As a perceived girl in the gamer community, I was a tough, cool gamer 'chick' (geesh, I hate that word. Why are girls compared to baby chickens? Fluffiness? Cuteness? They both peck?). Now I went from cool gamer girl to a nerdy, standard nerd. Not a loss I miss, but still mentionable.

I'm still perceived as a female to a lot of people. I'm a gamer and I'm looked at like the cool gamer chick as well.

sneakersjay · January 19, 2014, 11:55:39 AM

Never was a girl, so don't miss it.

Early in transition I'd see old pics of me, and was a bit sad that 'she' couldn't have been happy. But now I don't even remember who she was, because she NEVER WAS.

Sometimes I think I'd like to wear colorful fun socks again, and then think, well, why can't I?! I CAN! I can pretty much do anything I want, and really who cares? I'm going to do some cross stitch soon and some other needle work. And why shouldn't I?

Be yourself. Do what you love. Gender roles be damned.

Jay

Calder Smith · January 19, 2014, 06:48:43 PM

One thing I'll admit I kind of like about being biologically a female is I do like painting my nails and wearing makeup sometimes. (The only color I have my nails painted in is black and I'll only wear eyeliner) I agree with sneakersjay. I don't like gender roles but if I identify as a guy and I'm wearing makeup and have my nails painted, I'm looked at as a weirdo.

MadeleineG · January 19, 2014, 06:50:18 PM

Quote from: Mr Hockey on January 19, 2014, 06:48:43 PM
One thing I'll admit I kind of like about being biologically a female is I do like painting my nails and wearing makeup sometimes. I agree with sneakersjay. I don't like gender roles but if I identify as a guy and I'm wearing makeup and have my nails painted, I'm looked at as a weirdo.

Bah, guys who paint their nails rock! 😀

Being a girl.

AdamMLP

MadeleineG