Our voice and its effect on our perception

[warlockmaker]

Over the last month I have been very active in my business. It's in investment and finance and very much a male dominated world especially outside the public market sector. I have been on HRT for over 10 months and up to now the male role I had to play was quite easy, then it started to happen: Unknown to me, I have subconsciously developed a comfort range in tone and loudness which is much softer and higher pitch voice - a voice that I have increasingly used to speak with friends and according to my SO is very different from my former male voice. I realized recently the voice I speak in tends to dictate my male/female psyche.

I have had to attend VIP dinners and speak in my hardcore male voice as a speaker in financial forums and conventions over the last few weeks without a break and the prolonged adaption of this voice was upsetting my emotions. My solution was to start thinking I was a female acting like a man in the way I speak and behave and this has worked for me. Someone in this forum once said you will feel the need to come out and to repress this would not be emotionally healthy – I can't come out now so this is my own mind game to keep me happy.

Is it normal for the voice to feel more comfortable at a higher and softer pitch without trying (after over 10 months on HRT)? Is the voice we speak in reflect our male female psyche?

[Jamie D]

My experience with voice is, as a MAAB, I had/have a naturally high voice, not quite female range though.  To have any sort of male cred, when I was trying to work against my nature, I actually practiced in my late teens what I called my "radio voice."  I can still do it, the range is there, I have just gravitated back to what I had years ago.

I have just avoided situations like those you are forced into.

[suzifrommd]

Is the voice we speak in reflect our male female psyche?

My voice is very important to me. Those who have followed my post know that I'm frustrated that so much of the time I "feel male" even though I want to be female in the worst way.

My voice helps with that. When I hear the sweet sounds coming out of my own throat, it becomes a lot easier to believe my own femaleness.

After 7 months of fulltime living, the female voice is natural. It's the only thing that comes out of my mouth.

If you're someone who has natural control of her vocal cords (I had to work at it), I would imagine as you feel more like a female, your voice would become more female too.

[Ms Grace]

I find that my voice, while presenting as male, is softer, lighter, more melodic... that is partially intentional but largely just something I do now. Whether it's due to my psyche I couldn't say...

[Jessica Merriman]

Right before I went Full Time I noticed not really a change in pitch or anything, but HOW I talked had turned into a female pattern. I mean with sentence structure and wording I had not used as male. I didn't practice or anything it just started flowing out like you said "more melodic". That gave my voice a feminine sound even when it isn't that way. I don't know if that makes any sense, but there it is.

[Missadventure]

I've always spoken very sing-song, at a pitch that's on the low end of the female spectrum. It's my resonance that get my voice clocked as male. And sadly, I'm having a VERY hard time making the resonance go away. At least, making it go away on demand. But the past few days it has gone away all on its own, although not when I'm in girl mode. It happens at work when I'm not thinking about it. I got ma'am-ed on the phone yesterday, and I've had a couple customers double-take at me when I talk to them.

Just wish I could do it when I want to... But, I don't really know what it is that I'm doing...

[Eva Marie]

As a guy I always was soft spoken. People typically could not hear me very well, so I always got talked over when I with with a group of guys. I didn't realize it at the time, but having that happen was good preparation for what I would encounter as a female.

My guy soft voice had a resonance that bothered me when I was out in girl mode. Speaking like that was going to out me every time.

My therapist told me that when I got on a higher dose of HRT my voice would soften into the range of a female voice. I remember thinking "uhhhh...." when she said that because I remembered the threads I had read here about the voice not changing on HRT. I frankly thought that she was full of crap.

However, I have noticed that my voice has begun a shift toward a higher female range, even when I have to be in boy mode. It's not something that I'm consciously doing either, it just happens.

Speaking of getting talked over - there is a very interesting book called "You Just Don't Understand" by Deborah Tannen that talks about the way that men and women communicate, and how those communication methods are used to assert power. It is a very interesting read.

[stephaniec]

I've noticed lately I go back and forth from higher to lower. I'm tending to start higher without thinking then depending on the situation catch myself then lower my voice

[Teela Renee]

id say so, I didnt practise or force my voice at all, it just sorta came natural with the hormones. Got lucky I suppose

[TinaMadisonWhite]

I've struggled with voice quite a bit, too, especially at work.  I'm in a role where I have to persuade and direct a lot.   I tend to drop my pitch and strengthen my resonance when I feel under pressure - which is most of the time. 

I've realized that my challenge lies in reversing decades of masculine indoctrination about what makes a person persuasive and influential.  I find myself listening much more attentively to female executives who communicate with authority.   They do it very differently than do men. 

Where men tend to take their voices down and punch their words and raise their volume for emphasis,  women perform like aerial acrobats.   They go up and down, pause, speed up - all while maintaining clear articulation.   They often quiet their volume to draw you in.   It's fascinating!

[RobinGee]

My work telephone voice is heard as female a lot.  "You sound just like my niece."

I think kinda started trying to make my voice more friendly, and less intimidating, and winding up with a voice that might pass as low female.

[vlmitchell]

I can't speak in the male range for more than a few moments without being very uncomfortable these days. The voice in my head is female ranged, I dream in female range, and apparently I talk in my sleep in female range. When I ape the male vocal presentation, I sound like a girl mimicking a guy.

I think that the voice that you use is a huge part of your overall personality and that speaking in a tonal/inflection range which expresses the emotive qualities you're feeling inside is important for mental well being.

[LittleEmily24]

I've been speaking in a much higher pitch and with changes in my inflections and pronunciation, some friends have told me that my voice pitch is and always has been very neutral (not male or female, kinda andro i guess), but that the way I pronounce my words is very female ~ so that gets my hopes up. I've always been able to sing identical to a girl (certain vocalists of course, not all ranges), i just need to figure out how to implement my technique into basic speech.

I personally feel like my voice is a very big part of my image, not just to others but to myself ~ even when i talk to myself these days or when I make an open-aired comment on the road, i speak in my female voice so that I can get use to it. I've noticed that the more time passes, the higher my pitch seems to get (not that anything is affecting it, but that I naturally feel more comfortable talking at a higher pitch). But being told that my words are pronounced in a very feminine way gives me a bit of good feeling ~ i mean who says girls cant have deep voices? Look at Kat Von D!

[KittyKat]

My voice has always been in the middle range maybe leaning more to the higher pitch. I've never been told I sound like a girl to my face but get it maybe 90% of the time on the phone. Anyone I ask about my voice when presenting female says they never even considered my voice as male unless they knew me prior. I'm pretty happy with this but makes me not want to practice ever and then I think I sound like a guy but just roll with it. I do tend to suffer often from a case of the f*$& it's and really don't care about other people's opinions in general though.

[warlockmaker]

Had a chat with my therapist this morning about this voice issue. He say that when we speak from our diaphram when we want to exert authority - its a deeper and louder voice. Men speak much more from their diaphram and as we evolve mentally on HRT we lose that agressiveness and speak from the back of our throats. This results in a much softer and non confrontational tone and a voice that reflects the female we have become. Our voice will naturally change and the extent of the change varies with genetics but voice lessons are still needed by many of us. Also our vocabulary changes and we use words that are not normally spoken before.

The wonderful journey continues.

[TessaMarie]

I have noticed recently that my voice seems to be softer and at a slightly higher pitch.  While I have been thinking about training it, I have not get around to that yet.

I am 7 months on E, but still present as male all of the time.

Your therapist's explanation sounds plausible.  Hmm ... Now I'm curious.

[Nicolet J.]

 It's funny.  At work I mostly talk in a soft voice until I have to instruct someone on how to do something.  Then I go to my old low voice. I hate it when I catch myself.  I also seem to come off more feminine when speaking to other ladies.  But when I get around other guys I don't do so well. I do hope it will just click soon a sound more feminine all the time.

Just a side thing. I love to sing. But I sing well in my male voice.  I am working on a good female singing voice. But am having little success.  So I don't sing much anymore.  (

[warlockmaker]

I am in the closet and present as a male full time. I do not like the daiphram voice it reconnects the old male neurons and the Alpha male agression that goes with it. For me its like going to a dark place of old memories.

[smile_jma]

My voice is horrible. I wouldn't say I feel more or less feminine when speaking in either, though it sucks when people get that shocked look on their face when I speak like Sean Connery (without the lisp).

I have a friend who forces me to speak higher (since I have to be male at every other time when I'm not with her) and for the first 20 minutes or so, it's tough to find the comfortable range. And then I get stuck there, sort of, after about an hour. Until I leave her, then it automatically drops. I guess that's a mental thing. But, when it gets stuck or prior, it does get difficult to drop and say something in my normal voice. Weird.