does any body think that early intervention would of helped

[stephaniec]

I was just wondering if any body thinks that if they would of gotten caring counseling as a child would it of helped them later in life dealing with transgender issues. I was severely affected by whatever  was causing me to go down the path of being transgender. I was extremely introverted. I never talked to my parents or siblings. I was an extreme cross dresser at age 4 onward. all through grade school and high school always the same situation. After high school sought out medication in the form of LSD. At the University finally got into therapy. I don't know if this could of been prevented by early intervention or not. I don't think my parents understood how different mentally I was. I'm finally dealing with what was wrong for so long. Just curious if any body thinks they wouldn't had such a hard time in the early years and later if they had better support early  on or is the situation too complicated for early help. I'm not saying any thing wrong with being transgender such saying that transition could of been less difficult.

[KittyKat]

I wish I hadn't kept things to myself all my life, I'm sure my mom would have tried to get me help if i said something. Honestly though I kept things from myself as we'll or didn't accept them until it became too late to ignore it.

[suzifrommd]

I was in and out of therapy as a kid. Not all of them were quacks. There were some perceptive, sensitive therapists who helped me a lot with social and adjustment issue.

No one, not them, not me, even once considered that I might be Trans.

In my late 20s, I went to a therapist specifically asking her to help me understand why I didn't make friends with men. We worked for a year before she gently let me know she had nothing more she could do. Again, not an inkling.

OTOH, I'm not your usual transwoman, in that I never really understood what my feelings meant.

[MadeleineG]

I wish I had known about doctor-patient confidentiality. As a preteen, I knew I needed help, but was terrified to talk to anyone. If I'd known that I could talk to someone impartial confidentially, I might have done that. As it stands, I felt like I was in limbo until I could find the courage to tell my parents. And that took twenty years.

[vlmitchell]

Yeah but what's the point of worrying about it now? I mean, we're the age that we are and can't do anything but deal with the damage we have. We can counsel others, educate, and the rest so that another generation doesn't have to deal with the pains that we currently have to deal with but bellyaching about the fact that we didn't get the support and resources we needed when we were the age when the majority of damage would have been mitigated seems counter-productive.

I'm being curt but, really, there are thought processes that I know for certain are wastes of time, having been there myself and gotten through the other side.

[big kim]

I was born in 1957 and grew up in the 60s and 70s.I was terrified anyone would discover my secret.If someone had intervened I might not have been such a brat and studied harder but I couldn't see the point when all I thought I had to look forward to was jail,the loony bin or the cemetary

[Jill F]

I really hate playing the "what if" game.  It always seems to end with negative thoughts and emotions.  My path is my path, and what has happened cannot change.  I'm here, in the now and things are finally going my way.

What if I did transition when I was young?  I wouldn't have met my wife, wouldn't have had all the experiences I had, and I would have had to navigate this path in the 1980s, which was obviously much more difficult.  Then I would have had to find work and make enough money to finance everything out of pocket.  Not impossible, but WOW.  I have so much respect for transfolk in decades past.  You think we're marginalized NOW?

There were definitely benefits to sucking it all up as long as I could, and I'm glad my life worked out the way it did.  Better late than never. 

[vlmitchell]

I really hate playing the "what if" game.  It always seems to end with negative thoughts and emotions.  My path is my path, and what has happened cannot change.  I'm here, in the now and things are finally going my way.

BOOM! THIS!

[KabitTarah]

God, yes! It would have helped... but not me. It would have helped some of the lives I threw into turmoil. Still... I wouldn't change anything unless society also changed to accept it back then as much or more than it does now.

If we want to talk about magic... I'd like to have been born a cis girl, too... or at least just magically change into one with nobody the wiser. That's not going to happen either.

[LordKAT]

That is a very good point about wishful thinking, Kabit. I wonder if sometimes that wishful thinking adds to the depressive state, all that things that can't be instead of what can.

[KabitTarah]

That is a very good point about wishful thinking, Kabit. I wonder if sometimes that wishful thinking adds to the depressive state, all that things that can't be instead of what can.

I think it does. I think it's more important to talk about what we can do to help with early intervention in current trans youth than to lament our own pasts. It's the sort of thinking I strike down whenever it appears in me.

Observing our past, the actual events, and reflecting on them can be healing, though. I spent my first few months OOTC doing just that.

[LordKAT]

That too, is thinking about what you can do instead of can't. You can make it easier for those who follow.

[Jenna Stannis]

Yeah but what's the point of worrying about it now? I mean, we're the age that we are and can't do anything
I'm being curt but, really, there are thought processes that I know for certain are wastes of time, having been there myself and gotten through the other side.

I thought this site was about helping others, such as parents whose children may be facing similar difficulties. So, no, I don't think it's a waste of time.

[Jamie D]

Yeah, don't sweat it, Eve.  The past is the past.

[vlmitchell]

I thought this site was about helping others, such as parents whose children may be facing similar difficulties. So, no, I don't think it's a waste of time.

If this was about that, it would have been a very different conversation and you're taking my words out of context to be argumentative. Stop. I addressed the needs of future generations in my post where you clipped this from.

[amZo]

I was just wondering if any body thinks that if they would of gotten caring counseling as a child would it of helped them later in life dealing with transgender issues. I was severely affected by whatever  was causing me to go down the path of being transgender. I was extremely introverted. I never talked to my parents or siblings. I was an extreme cross dresser at age 4 onward. all through grade school and high school always the same situation. After high school sought out medication in the form of LSD. At the University finally got into therapy. I don't know if this could of been prevented by early intervention or not. I don't think my parents understood how different mentally I was. I'm finally dealing with what was wrong for so long. Just curious if any body thinks they wouldn't had such a hard time in the early years and later if they had better support early  on or is the situation too complicated for early help. I'm not saying any thing wrong with being transgender such saying that transition could of been less difficult.

Absolutely.

Growing up in the late 60's and 70's, we were left to agonize in silence and have everyone wonder what the hay was wrong with us. I'm glad to see kids today get the attention they need regarding gender dysphoria.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Yeah, don't sweat it, Eve.  The past is the past.

Indeed. Worrying about what you could have done (but ultimately can't do) is self-defeating, pointless and will just depress the hell out of you in the end.

[Jenna Stannis]

If this was about that, it would have been a very different conversation and you're taking my words out of context to be argumentative. Stop. I addressed the needs of future generations in my post where you clipped this from.

Calm down.

I don't know how talking about early intervention could be construed as anything other than helping others. Surely you don't think it's about magic, time travel and/or wishful thinking?

But, hey, you got through to the other side, so who cares.

[Jenna Stannis]

I'm not sure what would have changed if my parents, a friend or a health professional had known about my childhood cross-dressing, but I'm fairly certain that I'd be quite a different person today if they did. My guess is that I'd be better adjusted, because the mystique surrounding my clandestine activities would have been exploded. My behaviours would be somewhat normalised as they'd have a social context, rather than that important aspect of my personality existing in a vacuum.

Then again, with respect to health professionals specifically, I'm not sure what the protocols for people like me were back in 1976, so there could have been an adverse outcome. I think people facing these issues today have a far greater number of health and support options.

[Athena]

I regret now that my mother didn't push me into therapy when I was younger, it might have allowed me to accept myself at a much earlier time in my life. I might have been able to spend most of my life as a woman or even reduced the emotional melt down that I am still suffering from.