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Bottom dysphoria.

Started by Calder Smith, January 23, 2014, 09:38:28 AM

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Calder Smith

Quote from: Malachite on January 23, 2014, 05:23:38 PM
I hate my vagina.

I hate bleeding out of it.

I hate using the bathroom from that thing.

I have decided that I will involve it for sexual purposes whenever I'm married.  Even though I hate it, there's still some erotic sensation down there.

I will strive to get bottom surgery though.  My bottom dysphoria is way worse than my top dysphoria.

This 100%.
Manchester United diehard fan.
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Catherine Sarah

Hi Mr Hockey,
Quote from: Mr Hockey on January 23, 2014, 10:58:52 AM
.............  MTFs are lucky they don't have to go through this.. lol.

I'll swap you for a lifetime of dilation.

It's funny when you look at what each of us has to put up with.

Love
Catherine




If you're in Australia and are subject to Domestic Violence or Violence against Women, call 1800-RESPECT (1800-737-7328) for assistance.
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Calder Smith

Manchester United diehard fan.
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Missadventure

Quote from: alabamagirl on January 23, 2014, 11:25:20 AM
Haha... I remember when I first came out to my cousin, she told me "Why would you want to be a girl? It sucks. We have to deal with having periods every month."

I'm not sure how I feel about that particular aspect of it... Part of me feels like I would be thrilled to experience something so exclusive to cis girls, and the other part thinks not experiencing it is one of the rare perks of being trans.

I had nearly a similar conversation with a good friend of mine. She was the first person I came out to, and she's always been incredibly supportive, and my go-to for weird "girl questions".. One night she had really bad cramps and she turned to me and said "You're never gonna have to deal with this are you? Like, no cramps, no bleeding, nothing?" and I smiled at her and said "Nope! Yay me!"

But, at the same time, I would be thrilled if I did. Likewise I don't know if I would ever want to be a mother. But, at the same time, I would like to have a child one day.

If it were medically possible, I'd offer up my lightly used penis in trade for a likewise lightly used vagina/uterus any day.  ;D

Calder Smith

Quote from: missadventure on January 28, 2014, 02:34:45 PM
I had nearly a similar conversation with a good friend of mine. She was the first person I came out to, and she's always been incredibly supportive, and my go-to for weird "girl questions".. One night she had really bad cramps and she turned to me and said "You're never gonna have to deal with this are you? Like, no cramps, no bleeding, nothing?" and I smiled at her and said "Nope! Yay me!"

But, at the same time, I would be thrilled if I did. Likewise I don't know if I would ever want to be a mother. But, at the same time, I would like to have a child one day.

If it were medically possible, I'd offer up my lightly used penis in trade for a likewise lightly used vagina/uterus any day.  ;D

I'd definitely trade!
Manchester United diehard fan.
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Missadventure

Quote from: Mr Hockey on January 28, 2014, 03:19:16 PM
I'd definitely trade!

Alright! Now we just need to find a doctor who can actually do it!  ;D

Calder Smith

Quote from: missadventure on January 28, 2014, 04:14:10 PM
Alright! Now we just need to find a doctor who can actually do it!  ;D

If only.. :-\
Manchester United diehard fan.
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Calder Smith

My bottom dysphoria is really bad today.

I was watching this movie, and there was a partially nude scene in it. Really whenever I watch a scene like that and see a dude, it triggers my dysphoria.
Manchester United diehard fan.
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kellibra

as missadventure hinted at, my fantasies also sometimes involve periods, impregnation, delivering and breastfeeding. to always want what we don't have. no wisdom for mankind. i suppose the grass will always be greener on the other side...
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Ryan55

cant wait for periods to end....on another note, i guess it depends with my bottom half, I use to be like that, I didnt want my girl to see it, touch it, even acknowledge it, I was like I'll just pleasure you, but guess it depends on the partner, she could of gave two ->-bleeped-<-s that i was missing a penis, needless to say, when i got over the fact im missing a penis and accepted what i do have, sex is great, I always touched myself, I'm like a dude, I dont get whats wrong with masturbation its good, I mean long as you dont call it a pussy, were good, and she doesnt, durin sex she refers to it like i have a penis


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Gene

Quote from: Ryan55 on January 30, 2014, 07:36:49 AM
cant wait for periods to end....on another note, i guess it depends with my bottom half, I use to be like that, I didnt want my girl to see it, touch it, even acknowledge it, I was like I'll just pleasure you, but guess it depends on the partner, she could of gave two ->-bleeped-<-s that i was missing a penis, needless to say, when i got over the fact im missing a penis and accepted what i do have, sex is great, I always touched myself, I'm like a dude, I dont get whats wrong with masturbation its good, I mean long as you dont call it a pussy, were good, and she doesnt, durin sex she refers to it like i have a penis

That's a good girlfriend you have there. It's important that our partners understand our needs and desires, and it sounds like you have a keeper there. You're a lucky man indeed :)
Who's got two thumbs, is a FTM transsexual artist & moderate gamer who is outspoken about his opinions w/ an insatiable appetite for his enemy's shame? This guy
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Mr.X

Yup, I hate my downstairs department as well. In my opinion, and I'm sure our MtF sisters will quite disagree, girls got the short end of the stick when it comes to genitals. Who would want a vague hole hidden somewhere, that leaks at times and has flaps around it? It's disgusting!

QuoteI was watching this movie, and there was a partially nude scene in it. Really whenever I watch a scene like that and see a dude, it triggers my dysphoria.

Now this hits home. It is exactly my problem. See, I'm gay so I really do not enjoy seeing female parts. But I'm also a guy, so porn is nice at times. So I'd like to watch gay porn. But whenever I try, I get too dysphoric because there's two fully functioning guys in there. Argh! Can't do it right.
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Calder Smith

Quote from: Mr.X on January 31, 2014, 04:28:28 AM
Yup, I hate my downstairs department as well. In my opinion, and I'm sure our MtF sisters will quite disagree, girls got the short end of the stick when it comes to genitals. Who would want a vague hole hidden somewhere, that leaks at times and has flaps around it? It's disgusting!

Now this hits home. It is exactly my problem. See, I'm gay so I really do not enjoy seeing female parts. But I'm also a guy, so porn is nice at times. So I'd like to watch gay porn. But whenever I try, I get too dysphoric because there's two fully functioning guys in there. Argh! Can't do it right.

I agree. I have always thought a penis is much better than a vagina. One good thing is that it doesn't leak blood every month.

Yes, it always bothers me seeing a cis guy nude. A guy that was born a male and doesn't have to worry about having surgery to get a penis. I've seen impressive results from some operations but still, us FTMs who choose to have surgery still will not have a fully functioning penis like cis males do. That is why I cannot watch porn.
Manchester United diehard fan.
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stephaniec

Quote from: Mr.X on January 31, 2014, 04:28:28 AM
Yup, I hate my downstairs department as well. In my opinion, and I'm sure our MtF sisters will quite disagree, girls got the short end of the stick when it comes to genitals. Who would want a vague hole hidden somewhere, that leaks at times and has flaps around it? It's disgusting!

Now this hits home. It is exactly my problem. See, I'm gay so I really do not enjoy seeing female parts. But I'm also a guy, so porn is nice at times. So I'd like to watch gay porn. But whenever I try, I get too dysphoric because there's two fully functioning guys in there. Argh! Can't do it right.
well, honestly having the thing hanging from in between my legs is most unwanted. It been most unwanted since consciousness awakened in me. Since starting HRT my mind has made it so much easier for me to envision my true self and it's so much better. Tales from the other side.
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Calder Smith

Quote from: stephaniec on January 31, 2014, 08:18:49 PM
well, honestly having the thing hanging from in between my legs is most unwanted. It been most unwanted since consciousness awakened in me. Since starting HRT my mind has made it so much easier for me to envision my true self and it's so much better. Tales from the other side.

The hole with two flaps around it between my legs is most unwanted. :/ I can't wait until I start T and can feel more comfortable. My bottom dysphoria won't go away though until I have my phalloplasty done.
Manchester United diehard fan.
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stephaniec

yea the surgery is really the only way to help
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linny55

I wouldn't trade you any other way. To me your a man, my soon to be husband. I don't care what you have down stairs. Unconditional love isn't about a penis or a vagina it is about what is inside and the connection you have with someone. We have that bond.. through thick and thin.. I love mocha.. don't get me wrong.. but I kind of like the fact you don't have a penis.. then I can pick what size... color.. and the speed I want to play with at the time.. I think I'm much more lucky then I ever have been in the past now that I'm with you!


Quote from: Ryan55 on January 30, 2014, 07:36:49 AM
cant wait for periods to end....on another note, i guess it depends with my bottom half, I use to be like that, I didnt want my girl to see it, touch it, even acknowledge it, I was like I'll just pleasure you, but guess it depends on the partner, she could of gave two ->-bleeped-<-s that i was missing a penis, needless to say, when i got over the fact im missing a penis and accepted what i do have, sex is great, I always touched myself, I'm like a dude, I dont get whats wrong with masturbation its good, I mean long as you dont call it a pussy, were good, and she doesnt, durin sex she refers to it like i have a penis
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Calder Smith

Quote from: linny55 on January 31, 2014, 09:14:43 PM
I wouldn't trade you any other way. To me your a man, my soon to be husband. I don't care what you have down stairs. Unconditional love isn't about a penis or a vagina it is about what is inside and the connection you have with someone. We have that bond.. through thick and thin.. I love mocha.. don't get me wrong.. but I kind of like the fact you don't have a penis.. then I can pick what size... color.. and the speed I want to play with at the time.. I think I'm much more lucky then I ever have been in the past now that I'm with you!

That's beautiful. :)
Manchester United diehard fan.
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dalebert

I often hear repeated here (and I agree) that gender is a spectrum. I just thought it might be food for thought to remind folks that there are guys out there, I won't call them cis because they clearly aren't, who are dysphoric to varying degrees about their traditional male genitals, but they continue to identify as male and want to continue being male-bodied. They can range from just frequently fantasizing about having a vagina but being okay as they are (low dysphoria) to feeling miserable and like they can't be happy until they get bottom surgery (high dysphoria). The Internet is making it possible for them to speak up with some degree of privacy and they seem to be getting more visible. Most I've heard of seem to be gay and so having a vagina could just fit with the kind of sex they would like to have. Then again, it might just seem that way to me because I'm gay myself and so I spend more time on sites for gay men and so hear of gay experiences. I haven't experienced women expressing something similar but I imagine they must exist. Maybe that's even more taboo right now.

Sadly, the current climate that sees gender as being strictly binary, it may be a long time before they're taken seriously. They are just labeled as having some kind of mental disorder and have a harder time than most trans people trying to get help for their dysphoria. Some post-transition FTMs are probably pretty close to their personal physical ideal--how they perceive themselves inside.

Sybil

Quote from: Mr Hockey on January 23, 2014, 10:58:52 AM
MTFs are lucky they don't have to go through this.. lol.
I realize this is a little late to comment, but I would definitely trade the fact I don't have periods for being a cisgendered female. A lot of women irl like to make period commentary at me, and it always frustrates me to no end; they don't realize what it means NOT to have a period. I realize this is totally different for FtMs, and all of you guys have my utmost sympathy for having to deal with something so painful that you have no stake in at all, but it isn't a turn of luck for MtFs that we don't have periods. The fact we don't have periods concurrently denies us of much more.
Why do I always write such incredibly long posts?
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