Big decision !!

[MissCalculated]

Hello everyone!

To make this quick and easy, I am going to save introductions for later.  A few important points however.  I have not started HRT.  I intend to in the near future.  Currently I present as male.

To summarize:  This week, I have interviewed with 2 companies. (Others as well, but I expect only 2 will matter)  Below is a breakdown of the companies.

Company A:
Good pay.
"Back-room job", minimum required face-to-face work.  Ideal for starting transition.
Here, I will be doing "what I want to do".
This position points me in the right direction for my 5-year goals.

Company B:
2x Good pay.
Busy busy.  Very busy.  Like, airplanes and taxis and meetings on trains busy !!
Customer "face-to-face" interaction.  This is not the focal point of my position, but rather part of gathering required details.
This is not my dream "what I want to do", and yet it is something I can be happy doing.
This position does not put me in the direction of my current 5-year goals.
This position opens sooo many doors!  Doors I didn't know existed.  I'm talking like Narnia in a closet type doors!
*The company is considered as one of the most LBGT accepting companies globally.

*This one's a doozy!  The company is said to be LGBT friendly.  I have no doubt that they are.  However, as a business their primary concerns are sustainability and growth.  It doesn't matter if they like or dislike somebody, if they accept you or not.  They need to be able to work you into their own system.  I can't imagine a customer paying mind to having a gay "expert" on site.  Now, if this expert is instead something which, to their perception, isn't male or female.  This can change things.  The primitive instinct - fear of the unknown.  Simply put, it doesn't matter how "ok" company B is with LGBT.  If the customer has an issue, it becomes my problem.

Anyway, now that I've set the scene.  If anybody has been in a similar situation.  Either to where I am now, or where I *could be* if I take either option.  Any insight would be wonderful and much appreciated!

Also.  There is no guarantee that I will get an offer, from either company.  And yet, I think the odds are in my favor on both accounts.  Only time will tell.

Regards,
MissCalculated

ps. I *do* plan to see a professional therapist regarding this dilemma as well, I have not been able to yet and only have a short time frame where I may be able to.

ps. Forgive my businessey lingo and formality.  It's habit that I need to get rid of !!! =D

OH!
pps. I was curious about the possibility of opening a "Professional" forum, intended for everyone (MtF, FtM, I, LGB, anything I'm missing) who may have questions or relevant experiences.

[Jamie D]

Good luck with the job offers.  If I got both offers, I would go for "B".

By way of analogy ...

"If you can't be with the one you love,
love the one you're with."

[Ms Grace]

I guess it would come down to how you feel you will handle transition (a bit hard to know at this stage I realise). The second job sounds like it will be fairly busy and possibly stressful. Dealing with transition can be quite bumpy so think about who I the two things might go together. Other than that, follow your instincts!

[MissCalculated]

@Thing:

Thank you soo much for the input.  I agree, I think.  Well - I mean.  I've already decided that, if it comes down to it - and I can't make a decision.  I'm going with option B.  But it is still a difficult decision.  A very very difficult decision.

@Ms Grace:

You didn't answer my question!!
No! I'm kidding =)
I mean, I actually really like that I know someone else can see the dilemma in a similar way that I can.  It makes me think I'm less crazy.  Well, maybe :p

Anyway - I've got to run!!  Not like "go running" but like "go".

Thank you both soooo much for your thoughts!!

[Rachel]

So let me see if I have this right. You will be paid 2X salary for doing something you do not want to do and need to perform in a stress cooker and paid 1X for what you want to do and fits your 5 year plan.

Transition is stress.

Doing what you want to do beats doing what you do not want to do, any day.

I do not want to look male and if the job aligns then ...........

Hugs and good luck.

[MissCalculated]

@Cynthia:

I completely see where you're coming from!  BUT!

While I am considering my options I try my best to "ignore" the salary details.  My career is early.  I have no need for Company B's wages.   I also know of soo many stories where somebody gets a lucky run.  The make good money.  For like 2 years.  Then it's... umm... well -

Anyway!  I spoke about my goals.  And about "opening doors to Narnia".  When I think of my dream job - the one Company A points me towards.  There are a lot of ideas which I consider to be "just unrealistic;  I can't become that person!!"  But like... If I could be in the same place as Marissa Mayer 10 years in the future... Ohmygod!!  And then I look in a mirror.  And I see me.  The most average person I've known, my whole life.  There is a chance - even if it's soo remote... that I could find myself somewhere which I couldn't even dream of today.

And yes.  The stress, simply from... everything... with Company B could be a problem.  But!  The fact that Company B is rated as being one of the most LGBT friendly companies there is doesn't hurt their case either   Even if it is likely that there will be a <b>rocky</b> start.

Yeah - I think I need to schedule my appointment with a therapist.  Like asap. =D

...
...
Oh!  I don't want this thread to kindof be an "about me" kindof thing.  I have seen some posting in these forums.  One was an individual, in a far better spot than I ever will be.  Right out of college.  And she was at a point where she wanted to do transition.  She felt it would ruin her career potential as well as her family life.  I do not know what became of this individual.  And I think it could also be helpful to the younger ones as well.  Ones in college. Ones in school.  To have a place where they can see other's experiences.  To be able to see "what's up next" and "what you should look out for" - within a professional context.

And that is also why I am curious about a possibility for a "Professional" forum.  Not for me.  Not for you.  For us.

Anyway!

I'm off to bed.

Goodnight!!
xD

ps. I don't mean that there has to be any rush for this "Professional Forum" thing.  And I would also be more than willing to see what I can do to help if it were a considered idea.

[Rachel]

Trans* does not go away.

Dysphoria increases in time.

When being yourself hits all else is second.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Miss Calculated,

There's an old saying, " if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is."

Not knowing what your 5 year plan will result in, verses the Narnia type doors, makes it difficult to offer any advise.

However, knowing the stress, transition generates, company A I would think offers the best solution. You achieve 2 important goals. Transition and your 5 year plan at a relatively low risk. Company B on the other hand does not provide such achievements, directly, and the risk of failure is substantially higher.

Removing transition from the equation, for me, company B is too high a risk of both meeting the company KPI's and your personal non trans objectives.

Hope it all goes well for you

Huggs
Catherine