Transgender family trouble?

[Emily_90]

My mom knows I'm transgender and she's helping me get help. I'm seeing a doctor to get medications and treatments behind my dad's back. He completely hates the idea and resents me dressing feminine or looking feminine in any way. He wants me to be a boy. My therapist refers to me as she and my mom uses female pronouns on me.. Not around him. I'm just really upset, and I want to find a way to get him to accept me the way that I am. My therapist offered to talk to him.. And explain transgender because he is obviously ignorant about the topic, he has called me "ungodly" and gay", etc. Does anyone have tips..? Because I don't think it will be easy to hide that I'm undergoing hormone therapy behind his back.. Getting vocal training, breasts, softer skin, all of that. lol.. Any help would be appreciated.

[stephaniec]

the only thing I would suggest that could possibly help is a family therapy session with your parents and you and your therapist.

[Jill E]

I agree. A family therapy session would probably be best. You should talk to your mom about it. It'll give him a chance to better understand gender dysphoria / GID, and hopefully give the conversation a more calm, collected setting.

[sam79]

This can be a tricky situation. Some people who are set in their beliefs will just fight harder the more you try to inform them. I'm not suggestion that this describes your father, but the "ungodly" and "gay" comments are blatantly hurtful, so he's hurting too, and so rejecting it without reason.

If your father is not open to being informed about being transgender, then subtlety could be the best approach. That is, avoiding all confrontation on it, avoiding all discussion, and just continuing on your way and showing that you're happy and responsible in this and in life. There is never any guarantee, and it may take time, but he will eventually notice that you're in a better and happier place. What he chooses to do about that is ultimately up to him, but any caring parent should see this as positive and then accept the situation.

[Tori]

Many people, even the supportive ones, need time and space to accept one's transition. People do need time to mourn and accept the loss of your former sex. Less can be more.

[Chic]

This can be a tricky situation. Some people who are set in their beliefs will just fight harder the more you try to inform them. I'm not suggestion that this describes your father, but the "ungodly" and "gay" comments are blatantly hurtful, so he's hurting too, and so rejecting it without reason.

If your father is not open to being informed about being transgender, then subtlety could be the best approach. That is, avoiding all confrontation on it, avoiding all discussion, and just continuing on your way and showing that you're happy and responsible in this and in life. There is never any guarantee, and it may take time, but he will eventually notice that you're in a better and happier place. What he chooses to do about that is ultimately up to him, but any caring parent should see this as positive and then accept the situation.

This is amazing advice. I'm in a situation similar to this and your comment really helped me.

[barbie]

Many people, even the supportive ones, need time and space to accept one's transition. People do need time to mourn and accept the loss of your former sex. Less can be more.

Indeed. Be patient, even your dad refuse to accept your new identity forever.

My sister never understands my ->-bleeped-<-, and I have no obligation to explain it to her. As I do not live with her, I have no business with her.

barbie~~