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Why do you bother?

Started by Jenna Stannis, February 03, 2014, 03:04:31 PM

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Jenna Stannis

As someone who does not believe in an afterlife, it's the elephant in the room for me. As I get older and venture beyond my immortal youth, I tend to think about it a lot more often. I am of course talking about why we bother worrying about the quality of life, posthumous legacies and what others think of us. I mean, after we're dead, none of this will matter anyway, irrespective of whether we've lived a full and productive life or resigned to being a couch potato. Perhaps it's the only real consolation we take to our graves, that death is the great leveller and that none of it mattered anyway.

So, given our shared situation, our human condition, how do rise above this bleak and inevitable reality? How do you rise out of bed in the morning and get on with life despite it all meaning absolutely nothing? Why do you bother?


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LordKAT

The effects my life has on others, be it for good or evil, will continue after I die.

It matters.
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Anatta

Quote from: JS on February 03, 2014, 03:04:31 PM
As someone who does not believe in an afterlife, it's the elephant in the room for me. As I get older and venture beyond my immortal youth, I tend to think about it a lot more often. I am of course talking about why we bother worrying about the quality of life, posthumous legacies and what others think of us. I mean, after we're dead, none of this will matter anyway, irrespective of whether we've lived a full and productive life or resigned to being a couch potato. Perhaps it's the only real consolation we take to our graves, that death is the great leveller and that none of it mattered anyway.

So, given our shared situation, our human condition, how do rise above this bleak and inevitable reality? How do you rise out of bed in the morning and get on with life despite it all meaning absolutely nothing? Why do you bother?

Kia Ora JS,

Very good question/s...However I'm not in a position to give a satisfactory answer...I look forward to the responses from others...

Metta Zenda :)
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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suzifrommd

Oh, a great question.

I believe we leave ripples on the real universe that attenuate but widen after we are gone. The number of people who knew us dwindles down to nothing, but our impact on the world bounces back and forth and becomes woven into the fabric of the future. Every time I reply to a post, I might change someone's outlook or increase their knowledge that will make them slightly more successful at whatever contributions they make to the world.

This is part of the reason the breakup of my marriage was so devastating, as was the subsequent claim by my wife that she was miserable the entire 21 years. I saw my impact as being her life partner, and knowing I failed at it (or worse) means that a lot of the positive impact I thought I was having on the world has come to naught.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Jenna Stannis

Yes, I appreciate the noble sentiments about morality (yes, you don't need god(s) to act morally) and posthumous legacies (despite those you leave behind also facing oblivion). But while I too abide by these life philosophies (which I find baffling), the simple fact is that ultimately they don't matter. People keep saying "it matters" but how does it matter exactly? Whether we as individuals or as a society choose to nurture each other through life as painlessly as is humanly possible (Earth as giant hospice), or relish tormenting the weak, what difference is all that going to make when there's nobody left?

One day the Earth will die and then eventually the universe, so any and all great gestures and noble causes will have been for nought. Too melodramatic, you say? When I was in the 5th grade, after some kind of biology lesson, a fellow student came up to me and said, "I'd hate to be a butterfly; they don't live very long". I replied, "One year or eighty, how will you know the difference when you're dead?" He looked at me like I had some kind of illness.

The question is, armed with this knowledge, why do we care about the wellbeing of ourselves and others when one day it will be as though we had never existed at all. One day the passing on of legacies will cease. Perhaps self-awareness comes packaged with an unconscious yet powerful optimism, where we want to stick around and get on with life in the hope that something will save us from oblivion. I guess we have to believe that -- what other choice do we have?
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Miss_Bungle1991

Quote from: JS on February 03, 2014, 03:04:31 PM
How do you rise out of bed in the morning and get on with life despite it all meaning absolutely nothing? Why do you bother?

Simply because this is the only life I have. Hell, I might as well enjoy it. Even when I was still in the closet I was able to do that. Sure, lots of times it would involve things like music, drugs, booze, etc. But you got to do something, ya know? Yeah, I don't do much that's any different than most people. (although the drugs and booze are out of the picture now) I'm nothing special. I just live my life and enjoy things as much as I can given the circumstances. Sure, one day I will kick the bucket and turn to dust but...oh well. It's the only thing that is guaranteed in this life that you will die eventually. So, I'm just going to enjoy myself while I am here (however long or short that time may be).
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ThePhoenix

Quote from: JS on February 03, 2014, 03:04:31 PM
So, given our shared situation, our human condition, how do rise above this bleak and inevitable reality? How do you rise out of bed in the morning and get on with life despite it all meaning absolutely nothing? Why do you bother?

I used to just go about my life like anyone else.  Even though I agree that in the really, really, really big picture, none of it matters, I did a pretty good job of just not thinking about that as I suspect most of us do.

Being trans* meant that I lost a lot and got hurt very badly indeed.  It meant no longer having a family, losing my job and probably my entire career, losing a number of friends, etc.  Most of them didn't go easily.  They found particularly nasty ways of being lost.  I will probably bear the emotional scars for the rest of my life.  And I'm still losing things.  Trying to avoid losing my home, for example.  And so I needed (and still do need) a reason to get out of bed in the morning.  And trans* activism became that reason.

I know what it is and how it feels to get nearly destroyed because of who I am and to turn to the one place that is supposedly able to understand (the trans* community) only to be knocked down again.  My activism is about making sure no one has to go through what I did, or that if they do, then they won't have to do it alone.  So I get out to advocate for legislation that will stop others from having what happened to me at work happen to them, or they will have recourse if they do.  I spend time with families so that what happened to me won't happen with them.  And I run support groups that are rather different from all the others around so that when things do happen to people, there is a safe place to go.  Amazingly, given the suicide rate of this community and where one of my groups in particular is located, we have not lost a single person yet.  And I am always out there trying to get others to do the same, preferably without them knowing it.

So . . . That's where I find meaning and willingness to get out of bed. 
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Hikari

Because fundamentally I am selfish. I get out of bed and live my life as the alternative is unappealing. While my guiding moral principle is what does more harm than good is wrong my guiding personal principle is long term selfishness. In other words it wouldn't be best for me to rot away in bed, I wouldn't enjoy that at all. I won't be around to enjoy the world after I am dead so perhapsy outlook will change when I am older but for now I only care about what is in my best interest within the span of my life.
私は女の子 です!My Blog - Hikari's Transition Log http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,377.0.html
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Anatta

Kia Ora,

Quote from: Hikari on February 03, 2014, 11:27:35 PM
Because fundamentally I am selfish. I get out of bed and live my life as the alternative is unappealing. While my guiding moral principle is what does more harm than good is wrong my guiding personal principle is long term selfishness. In other words it wouldn't be best for me to rot away in bed, I wouldn't enjoy that at all. I won't be around to enjoy the world after I am dead so perhapsy outlook will change when I am older but for now I only care about what is in my best interest within the span of my life.

Selfish genes-give rise to altruistic individuals....



Metta Zenda :)
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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TerriT

Why do I bother? Because this is the only shot at it I get.
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Calder Smith

Our life isn't meaningless just because there (possibly) isn't a heaven or some type of afterlife.

We will leave behind children and grandchildren when we pass away. You want to leave a positive impact on your family and the people who knew you. So when people see your name they won't say "ugh" they'll say "he/she was a great man/woman".
Manchester United diehard fan.
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Miss_Bungle1991

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 12, 2014, 03:42:54 PM
We will leave behind children and grandchildren when we pass away. You want to leave a positive impact on your family and the people who knew you. So when people see your name they won't say "ugh" they'll say "he/she was a great man/woman".

I won't have any kids. I knew that from the time that I was a child in grade school. I never had a girlfriend at any point in school. (The little bit of "puppy love" involving a girl in second grade doesn't count). The orchi sealed the deal later on. I changed my name completely once I went full time. So, once I kick the bucket that will be the end of that.
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Calder Smith

Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 12, 2014, 06:14:48 PM
I won't have any kids. I knew that from the time that I was a child in grade school. I never had a girlfriend at any point in school. (The little bit of "puppy love" involving a girl in second grade doesn't count). The orchi sealed the deal later on. I changed my name completely once I went full time. So, once I kick the bucket that will be the end of that.

Well, I guess for people who won't have kids are an exception. Didn't think of that but still people will remember you.
Manchester United diehard fan.
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Miss_Bungle1991

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 12, 2014, 06:22:12 PM
Well, I guess for people who won't have kids are an exception. Didn't think of that but still people will remember you.

I doubt it (but you never know). I tend to fade into the scenery in the grand scheme of things.
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muffinpants

I think we care about our own and others well being because it is in our nature to do so. As for me, so far I actually enjoy life. Yes, some times have been rough, but after the first time I think I realized time does numb most pains (for me, anyways). However, I have always assumed that if something bad enough happens, there's always a way out! No time soon, hopefully :)

In the grand scheme of things, obviously none of this matters. It doesn't matter what you look like, what you wear, who you know, what you do, etc because in the end we all end up the same, which is comforting in a way.

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Jack_M

To make my life worthwhile. When I'm dead and gone, my name will still be in the credits of many a movie. Perhaps rarely read but still there. I teach Taekwon-do and help kids out there with not just Taekwon-do but life, bullies, school/home concerns. For every 10 kids I teach, if just one is happier for it, I've passed on something worthwhile. If just one appreciates it the way I appreciated the similar role models I had as a kid and pays it forward, then my impact spreads.

Immortality doesn't mean never dying.

My opinion: it's easier to get out of bed not believing in an afterlife. If there was such a great afterlife, why bother with this life? Why do we need more money? Why do we ever need to work hard? Why not just get it over and done with? Wasting days? Meh! Better days are to come. By not believing, a wasted day is exactly that: wasted.
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whatismylife

why take a shower when you'll just get dirty again?  why eat when you'll get hungry again?  why anything?

just because there's an inevitable end does not mean it's worthless.

as for meaning and purpose?  you make that for yourself.  depends on what you wanna do with the time you get.
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f_Anna_tastic

Being Atheist doesn't mean I have nothing to live for, it just means I have nothing to die for.  -  ricky Gervais

Being Atheist means I appreciate everything.  This is my one and only moment in the sun. I am totally privileged to be able to experience this life. 

Existence is amazing. We are the universe given the ability to comprehend itself.

This life is much better than the divine North Korea, spending eternity worshipping our dear leader.
"What do you fear, lady?" he asked.
"A cage," she said. "To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire."
                                                                                     ― The Return of the King
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Amathy

Curiosity gets me out of bed.  I only have a limited amount of time in which to learn things and experience things.

Every day has something to offer that I can enjoy.  A bit of sunlight.  A multicolored leaf.  A song.  An act of kindness.  Even if there isn't much one day, there's sure to be something wonderful tomorrow (or tommorows tommorow).
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Polybun

Quote from: Jenna Stannis on February 03, 2014, 03:04:31 PM
As someone who does not believe in an afterlife, it's the elephant in the room for me. As I get older and venture beyond my immortal youth, I tend to think about it a lot more often. I am of course talking about why we bother worrying about the quality of life, posthumous legacies and what others think of us. I mean, after we're dead, none of this will matter anyway, irrespective of whether we've lived a full and productive life or resigned to being a couch potato. Perhaps it's the only real consolation we take to our graves, that death is the great leveller and that none of it mattered anyway.

So, given our shared situation, our human condition, how do rise above this bleak and inevitable reality? How do you rise out of bed in the morning and get on with life despite it all meaning absolutely nothing? Why do you bother?

YOu don't.  Those are just the breaks, you live, you die, the end.  I don't see the big deal.  Enjoy life while you have it, die with dignity.
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