A Letter For My Niece, Whom I’ve Not Been Allowed to Meet

[niamh]

A beautiful post I found online.

You must be — what — one and a half years old by now? I've no personal count, really. I'm not entirely sure of your birthday. No one told me. Nothing. Awareness of your conception came to me through a chance appearance on my newsfeed, when you were still in gestation, of your mum clicking 'likes' to do with pregnancy. A Christmas passed by, another in which I was not invited home. Spring arose, in violet registers of your new shoes, summer — and by another picture found online I knew you'd been born sometime in June. You will grow up, not knowing me, and I think of you in so many ways — growing up, gaining ground,  right now — you, spurring to stay steady on a tricycle, defying gravity.

Verbose, prone to editorialize, dependent on sutures ... The truth is — as you know — I've not had the chance to hold you, my niece — my precious first niece. I am certain you will never be aware of how, today, I offer you this wee letter, that somehow the words will find you on their accord; as you will not be told that of me, your aunt who wants to watch you flourish under your own glow.

You do not know I am in this world, that I am of your family — because I'm a transgender woman. Family rejection met me for this one fact. My anger is wholly understandable, I hope you will know.   The crumbs I was offered seemed coated in poison, and so I wondered why they offered it at all.

Read the full piece here.

[JulieC.]

That made me cry.  It was so elegantly written.  I have no reason to believe this but I do believe some day her niece will read that and meet her.   

[Jessica Rush]

Very touching, I find myself coming to a similar situation with my own sisters and my nieces & nephews.

[Carol2000]

Beautifully written. My two children were not told what had happened to me for 6 years, and by mutual aggreement I had only seen them asleep a few times. However, time heals and my ex and her husband brought my son and daughter to meet me when they were 12 and 10 respectively. It was a truly wonderful experience. I was allowed to see them regularly after that

Now they have grown into two wonderful people and I am very proud of them. They have two children each of their own and I can visit them with my husband and I have a wonderful  time. My four grandchildren only know me as Caroline, a friend of the family, But one day...

There is hope.