full out

[Jerri]

so this week i have stood before hundreds of coworkers and bare d my soul, stood before my wife foe for years, my friends and family, but today i had to stand before my grandson who he and I have had a relationship a kin to brothers and it totally reduced me right back to having to decide to live or die. still not sure where i will land and really thought i had past this, but there is something about that level of love that will rock your world. mostly i am writing thid to help sort out where i am right now and i am losing interest in just pushing keys so i will go find another path
later sorry to be a bother

[LordKAT]

You're not a bother. Coming out and shaking up your dearest people is hard. You often come out for the better but it is very scary and emotionally draining for many people.

Many young people take it far better than you think. The relationship may change. but that doesn't mean it won't be good.

[KittyKat]

Congratulations. I'm sure it took a lot of courage just to tell so many people in one week. It would probably be a great time for a mental break, maybe just listen to the sounds around you and try to take in any smells and just focus on them.

[mrs izzy]

I know how that feels and hurts.

I stood and looked my adult sons in the eyes and told them there father wanted to be a girl. They love there father and to this day i know they wish they still had him to hold. But the fact is they told me they would rather have me here to talk to in person then standing at a grave site talking to a cold tumbstone.

Dam i am now crying.

Love of a child is one special thing. Children seem to understand more then we give them credit. Do you want them to be able to talk to you in person someday or ?

Hugs
Isabell

[Jessica Merriman]

Kids are very resilient. My 15 year old son who hated me at first called me "pretty" the other day. I don't know who was more surprised, him or me! Trust me, the shock will wear off because kids don't judge like adults do. Like Izzy said, warm girl or cold tombstone.

[Jerri]

thank you all,
you are so very right about this was a live or not choice when i finally gave up the fight to suppress and accepted me. last week was a bit much in that short of a time frame, but after a good nights cry and few texts from the kids i am sure i will be far better to them here than any other choice. a good day at church today wont hurt either, back to baby steps hopefully forward for me. in all of this no matter how emotional there has been so much positive
again thanks for being my new family and being here
Jerri LeeAnn

[kathyk]

so this week i have stood before hundreds of coworkers and bare d my soul, stood before my wife foe for years, my friends and family, but today i had to stand before my grandson who he and I have had a relationship a kin to brothers and it totally reduced me right back to having to decide to live or die. still not sure where i will land and really thought i had past this, but there is something about that level of love that will rock your world. mostly i am writing thid to help sort out where i am right now and i am losing interest in just pushing keys so i will go find another path
later sorry to be a bother

thank you all,
you are so very right about this was a live or not choice when i finally gave up the fight to suppress and accepted me. last week was a bit much in that short of a time frame, but after a good nights cry and few texts from the kids i am sure i will be far better to them here than any other choice. a good day at church today wont hurt either, back to baby steps hopefully forward for me. in all of this no matter how emotional there has been so much positive
again thanks for being my new family and being here
Jerri LeeAnn

I've been on Susan's for about 22 months under two different accounts.  And I found early on that this is a great place to bare your soul and say everything that needs to be said.  Just let it spill out whenever you want.

And I have a son who's separated himself, wife and grandson from me.  He and his wife don't want Ari knowing me, and I cry every time I think of it. Your not alone in this, and grandchildren are very special to us.  God it hurts, and it's making me cry to talk about it. 

[Bardoux]

That must have taken a lot of guts Jerri, congratulations on coming out and hope it goes will with your grandson babe. x

[Felice Aislin]

Jerri, thinking of you.