Valentine's Day

[Kim 526]

For the past few years I have been alone on this day, no valentines in the mail, text, etc. I am so sad from being alone, without a partner who can at least bear being with a post op MTF masquerading as a male.

My therapist tells me to stay away from straight women, and to seek out bi- or TS woman as friends first. Unfortunately, Boston doesn't have any places with that sign on it, and I don't like bars.

Sigh.

OK, enough of my whining. To all my sisters and brothers I hope you have a nice day, and if you have a Valentine's date tonight I hope it's dreamy!

Hugs, Kim

[suzifrommd]

My therapist tells me to stay away from straight women, and to seek out bi- or TS woman as friends first.

Why in the WORLD would your therapist tell you this? I'm not post-op, so my situation is not exactly hours, but I have some very supportive friends who are cisgender straight women.

I hate to contradict people's therapists, but that advice sounds on the barmy side.

[big kim]

I last had a Valentine card in 2002.

[kathyk]

I was about to post and then saw Big Kim chimed in. 

I'm alone up here also.  I don't like the noisy drunks in the bars, and there's no other place to hang out where I won't look the way I feel.  Hell, I did my injection last night and now I'm all moody.  Makes me want to cry.

So Kim and Big Kim, here's a heartfelt, wonderful, and warm hug for both of you.  And it's not a thoughtless hug ... I really mean it.  HUGS ... As many as you want.

Kathy

[Eva Marie]

Valentines day holds a very special meaning for me, but this year due to circumstances it really hurts and I'm choosing to just ignore it. I'm an incurable romantic and the idea of V-day resonates with me, but not this year 

[Padma]

This is for everyone, today <3

[stephaniec]

happy valentines day

[Joanna Dark]

Why in the WORLD would your therapist tell you this? I'm not post-op, so my situation is not exactly hours, but I have some very supportive friends who are cisgender straight women.

I hate to contradict people's therapists, but that advice sounds on the barmy side.

I think the therapist said that because the OP said he lives as a male, but is post-op. Most straight women are going to want their partner to have a penis. The OP does not.

I am so sad from being alone, without a partner who can at least bear being with a post op MTF masquerading as a male.

But yeah Valentine's day is a hurt piece for most people that are single. I know I used to celebrate VD with my ex-fiance like something serious, then my ex-fiance's birthday hit on Feb. 18, then her moth's b-day on Feb. 19, and then our anniversary on Feb. 22. She left me on March 20, 2007 and since then I'v basically been alone except for some random sexual encounters with several women who like the idea of a weirdo like me. I have/had a very femme body pre-HRT and have big thighs with stretch marks, or tiger stripes all over them and then of course the boobs. But they never wanted me to have penetrative sex with them. The one girl literally said I would get a man for that. Ugh. My ex said the same thing: she changed and wants to be with a man and I'm too gentle and sweet.

I thought maybe this year would be different but my ex-BF now wants to get back with his ex who called out of the blue (lucky me!), and so I'm all alone--again. The worst part is I pretend to him that it doesn't bother me and even gave him advice on what to do today. I tried to tell him during our five hour phone conversation but all I could do is talk crap on this 50-year-old woman who thinks I'm going to be her new gay BFF or some crap.But we need the money. Or he does. I need to stop using the word we, and so does he. But really if that's what makes him happy then I should support it no matter how bad it hurts.

Part of me wants to cut him out of my life completely because if it hurts like this now, what happens when he really gets going with her? But I can't even hang up the phone at 2 in the morning when I'm dead tired from the Prometrium.

The suckiest part is before I met him I had accepted the idea of being alone forever and came to terms with it. Now, I after I kept his thing wet, he goes back to her and I go back to black.

[big kim]

Thanks Kathy

[Xhianil]

This will be the first year in my life I've had someone today, it feels so good to know I'm not alone this time, i have him!

Don't avoid  straight, if you ask me.

[jussmoi4nao]

I'm not with anyone, but I've talked to this guy I like all day...I've only been this interested in someone one other time. He's like..special, there's something special about him. He's 21, and a talented artist who is planning on being an investment banker. Not to mention, he's gorgeous

He really wants to get with me but I don't feel ready for that...I guess if you're not ready you're not ready? He's says he can wait but who knows. I don't want to wait and miss out but I don't want to rush it and ruin it either.

[Hikari]

First time alone in 11 years on this day myself. I am not sure I know how to be single. Even before I was married I would always move from LTR to LTR. Some of my friends joke that if I don't change when I am done with transition I will really be a U-Haul Lesbian, but I just can't deal with the thought of casual sex or dating more than one person.

Oh well, maybe I will find someone before next year (which is doubtful since I am not really looking, and you don't find things you aren't looking for).