So! I suppose this is a half way rant plus a question, I shall save the hassle and end on a rant x3
So! Lets start with the first chest pain.
Lately I have been having chest pains when I take off my binder. Started when I would take off the binder, maybe three to four hours after wearing it, I would feel my ribs ache a bit, but nothing really serious and I never felt it while wearing the binder. I will admit, the first week when I got the binders I did push myself a bit to the limit on how long I could wear them to start with, but I don't wear them longer then eight to ten hours, depending how long I'm out of the house, but when I'm at home I let my baloompaloomps, as I like to call them, be free of the binding and on weekends I don't often leave the house. But now it really seems to have exploded. I have been awake for 37 hours with no sleep due to pain. But, I will admit, my dysorphia has been getting to be badly lately so I did wear it today for a few hours, and also to lessen the pain for a bit. It's strange, my ribs don't really hurt much when I do have the binder on, but once it's off it spreads all the way across my chest and then the ribs on the left side goes under my arm and well to my back, so it does limit my breathing a bit when the worst pains are.
It is rather hard debating with myself since the side that wants to wear the binder always wins... Rather quickly and hands down to tell the truth.
So, here comes perhaps my silly question... Should I have that checked out, or is this perhaps something that might pass? Somehow the thought of popping a few painkillers a day beats not wearing a binder even though I know I don't fully pass to everyone yet.
Now! Here comes my rant, so, you have been warned and you don't have to continue reading
Oddly enough, lately I have been feeling, how should I put it... Lonely? I don't know, just beginning to feel wanting someone I care about and someone who cares about me on a different level then just only friendship or family. Yet, there are two things. For one, there isn't anyone in my life at the moment I feel that type of longing for, and second... The thought of someone who somewhere might consider me as a guy, seeing me naked gets me all depressed. Then I began to think that thinking that far is perhaps a bit stupid since there isn't anyone I'm longing for anyways. Yet, at the same time, I'm not really sure if I truly want a relationship.
And there... I think that is how I will leave my rant, short and hopefully not too depressing for those who read
