It's not wrong for you to not tell a guy you're trans. You're a woman, whatever body parts you have. The major thing you have to be concerned about is your safety because there's a lot of violence especially with pre-op transsexuals. Make sure the guy is at least open-minded and always be in public when you reveal whatever you need to reveal to him.
I dated a lot during my transition phase, probably more than what's healthy, though it was also good because I did a lot of prepwork so I was experienced with men by the time I started dating after surgery. I even had a couple of boyfriends who never knew I was trans because I didn't do any penetrative contact with them, though I regret the deception.
The most successful relationship I had pre-transition was with a close friend who I ended up dating again post-transition after a break. In my experience, it's hard for guys who don't know you well to get over it, but it's also hard to get to know guys well without telling them, so it's a Catch-22. And if you're not comfortable with the she-male scene, then it's also hard to date guys who are attracted to pre-ops if you're planning to transition.
So overall it's kind of a mess to date during that time, but I don't regret doing it. We're human after all and need love and companionship. And while it's true that I definitely used attention from men to boost my self-esteem during a trying time, it's something that's pretty hard to blame someone for, especially people like us who have to deal with a lot of crap to be who we are.
