Could I get some advicce?

[Espguarde]

Hi, sorry about not contributing much to the community. I disappeared for a while, but now I'm nearly able to start HRT. I'm not sure how to phrase my request, but I'm looking for some advice that pertains to my situation.

I don't pass as female right now. I'm scared that even with HRT, make-up, and feminine clothes, I won't be able to pass.

Before I can start my hormones, I need to get a blood test done somewhere else. When I went to the clinic today, the doctor disputed the fact that the sheet my doctor gave me had my gender listed as female, but whatever record they had for me (I don't believe I've been there before; maybe it was provincial health care) had my gender listed as male. I told her to just use the one from the sheet, but she wouldn't, so I decided to leave. I've never had a blood test before, so I didn't want to do it somewhere I didn't feel comfortable. I felt so embarrassed and scared, and there was a lot of people there as well. I don't know if I want to try using that company again, but I don't think there are any trans-friendly places in my area where I could get this work done.

I haven't changed my gender on any official records yet, and I don't want to until I am certain that I pass. However, could anyone give me advice on how to deal with these situations? Were my expectations unreasonable? If not, has anyone else gone through this, and do you have any advice on how to deal with these types of situations?

Thanks.

[kelly_aus]

You were presenting as male and got upset when someone questioned you about it and the female marker? Seriously?

You are legally male and for the time being, for various insurance/legal reasons, you'll find that medical types will continue to gender you as such, at least for medical type stuff..

[Rachel]

I go to the Mazzoni Center in Philadelphia. It is a LGBT health center where I get my blood drawn, see my doctor and get scripts. My record is M. It will remain M until I get my gonads removed.

The 1st time I went there I walked around the block 3 times. The third time I went in. My heard was racing. On the portal I identified as Cynthia and that was on my record. They called my chosen name and I looked around. No one cared and half were trans there anyhow.

You are making a big step. The important thing is to get the blood panel done so you can get your scripts. In a year it will be no big deal. it just takes time to get over your fear, hugs.

[ErinM]

You mentioned provincial health care. Are you Canadian?  I don't know what province your in, but I find here in Alberta they go by what is on you Health Care Card religiously. I couldn't even get them to use my preferred name to call me.

[Jessica Merriman]

Were my expectations unreasonable?

I am afraid in this case, yes. Like Kelly indicated you still have your legal name and gender marker. This could delay health care and insurance if you used another name with the same Id numbers on the policy. I do have the opinion though if you had been presenting as female they more than likely would have used your chosen name when calling you back and in conversation though. You have to give a little to reap the rewards. Confidence and attitude account for about 85% of all passing in public, these alone can over shadow most any non-passing features. Just something to consider.