how do i tell my mum i want to transition

[Ronnie]

ok so by the title you know that i want to tell my mum i want to change my body from male to female and begin my transition she already knows I have been seeing doctors and today i will be seeing a GID doctor. when i told her i have been referred to a therapist in London and whenever i bring up about this she gets this look on her face that she does when she is disappointed and angry i love my mum more than anything but i need to tell her i can't live like this its tearing me apart she has said "what you want a sex change" with this horrible disgusted look on her face and i quickly say "no there getting me to see a therapist to help me live like this as male" it brings me to tears just thinking about the fort of having to live the rest of my life like this but i don't know how to tell her that i have been lying and i had every intention of transitioning i always fort she would say what would you're granddad think if you said that to him but sadly he passed back in march 2012 so its like i feel like I'm disappointing him and thats what scares me i want my hole family to be behind me my real dad left when i was only 6 months old and came back into my life when i was 16 and left a month later and didn't speak to me again till i turned 19 last year but he isn't prepared to be there for me so I've cut him out of my life this time but i can always be grateful i have a step dad who has been there since i was 2 i have told him everything and he gave me a hug and said i will be there for you no matter what you choose to do why couldn't my real dad have been like that just goes to show that  family are the people that raise us not the ones who make you 

[suzifrommd]

Some thoughts:
1. Your mom may simply need to be educated. Most people have heard of transgender but don't really know what it is. Make sure she knows:
* Transgender isn't something you choose. It's something you're born with.
* Transgender is serious. Depression, anxiety, and even suicide are common among people who ignore it.
* There is no cure. No one has come up with a way to make it go away.
* The only treatment is to transition and live as your true gender.
2. She may need some time to absorb this. During this period, DO NOT HIDE IT FROM HER. She needs to understand that it is your reality whether she likes it or not.
3. If she truly loves you, she will not want you to live in a way that is not true to yourself.
4. But in the end, you can't control whether she accepts you as trans. You can only control what you do.
5. Most important: If you live your life being true to yourself, in time she may accept you, or she may not. But if you hide your true gender from her, she will never know who you are and therefore never accept you.
6. Being unsure of a parent's continued affection is really hard. Please give yourself credit for dealing well with a tough situation.

Good luck, Ronnie. Please keep posting and tell us how it goes.

[Natalia]

Believe me, after you tell your mom you will feel much better.

As Suzi already told you, you should first make your mom understands that it is not a choice, but a need. Try to show her examples of your femininity and tell her how do you really feel inside. Be totally sincere with her. Don't hide anything or lie about anything. She is your mother and she loves you, no matter what.

She fears for your well being and for your future. Show her that, even with the difficulties that this decision will bring to you, what really matters is being sincere and truthfull to yourself. Tell her that this is the life that you want and that only as a woman you can be yourself.

And, very important...don't overload her. Give her a time to think about it.

And good luck ^^ I am sure everything will go well!

[Ronnie]

i have told her that people who go through with transitioning don't choose to have this but are born with it and she said it aint my fault and i was like whaaaaat i never said it was but she gets back on thursday so i will take this information you 2 have said and hope it goes well i don't want to live as a male for the rest of my life but i don't want to loose my mum either but you're right i have to tell her and i won't try to overload her and give her time she does not yet fully understand what it means to be transgender she just sees it as a weird taboo thing.

i will post back on this post of how it goes thank you for the luck *hugs*

[Rachel]

I wish you luck and I will be sending good thoughts.

Be calm and understand your Mom may say some things because she is in sock. She may need some time to process the information. Just remain calm, be yourself and do not make promises as a compromise, you can not keep.

As you state, we are strong because we have to be. You my dear are very strong indeed.