95 days to go...!

[Ms Grace]

Wednesday, early morning sounds good. The granddaughter's birthday is special and you will have a lot of special days going forward.

Congratulations and you look wonderful

Thank you Cynthia!

So I went to the shops today and I searched and searched and couldn't find courage.

What aisle is it in?

Not the chicken aisle!!

Ba-Zinga!

[Ms Grace]

79 days... 8 days to go!

Figuring out how and when to deal with my folks has transfixed me for most of the day. It only occurred to me way too late that today, being a Sunday, was probably an ideal opportunity to march over to their place unannounced and just spill it. When I saw Cate McGregor speak about her transition a short while back she said her decision to go ahead with it was not bravery or courage but "selfishness", the decision that she was going to stand up for and take what she needed for herself over others' demands. To be honest that's exactly how I feel about this. I know no one in my family is going to want me to peruse this course of action, that if I was to be selfless and listen to them I wouldn't do it, I would just let them have me their way... but I need to be selfish, I need to do this 100% for me regardless of how they will take it. Yeesh.

[930310]

79 days... 8 days to go!

Figuring out how and when to deal with my folks has transfixed me for most of the day. It only occurred to me way too late that today, being a Sunday, was probably an ideal opportunity to march over to their place unannounced and just spill it. When I saw Cate McGregor speak about her transition a short while back she said her decision to go ahead with it was not bravery or courage but "selfishness", the decision that she was going to stand up for and take what she needed for herself over others' demands. To be honest that's exactly how I feel about this. I know no one in my family is going to want me to peruse this course of action, that if I was to be selfless and listen to them I wouldn't do it, I would just let them have me their way... but I need to be selfish, I need to do this 100% for me regardless of how they will take it. Yeesh.

You're doing great!

[Jessica Merriman]

No wonder!

Remember, she that lays with chickens giggle! Darn feathers. *giggle*

I don't think that came out right, where is the delete key?

You are doing great Grace!! I am probably as excited as you are. By the way, your photo's rock it girl friend!!!

[Ms Grace]

You're doing great!

Thanks!

You are doing great Grace!! I am probably as excited as you are. By the way, your photo's rock it girl friend!!!

Thanks, should probably post a few more soon.

[Ms Grace]

78 days... 7 days to go!

one week! eep!

So today I took some steps towards whatever I need to do to get my name changed. The woman from the registry who I spoke to on the phone was very understanding when I told her I was transgender.

Sent out an email to staff today, inviting them to hear some "exciting personal news" which I'll tell them in a get together tomorrow. The first thing they would have thought was that I'm resigning, so I assured them that wasn't the case and added a few other fanciful scenarios about what it wasn't about...

• I'm not resigning, being made redundant, going on extensive leave without pay. Nor am I the new acting Deputy CEO!
• I don't have a hideously contagious disease that requires us all to all be quarantined for six months. I also don't have any fatal conditions... not that I'm aware of anyway.
• Sadly, I haven't won big on Lotto/pokies/roulette or had a filthy rich relative die and leave me their castle in Spain. Conversely, I'm not bankrupt.
• I'm not getting married or about to become a father (at least I hope not).
• I'm not joining a weird religious cult, an overseas aid program or the Foreign Legion.
• I don't expect to be arrested, indicted or called before any Royal Commission for anything anytime soon.
• I'm not a contestant in the next series of Big Brother, Survivor, Master Chef, So You Think You Can Dance?, those home renovation shows or Australian Idol, etc, etc, ad nauseam. That includes all game shows!
• I'm not an undercover Federal cop, ASIO spook or MI6 00 agent who has been spying on the organisation for the last 15 years.

That was enough to pique their interest so they'll all be there! Yikes!

One colleague won't be in the office tomorrow so I decided to tell her today. We've had a few high profile resignations at work lately so as soon as anyone says they have some "news" everyone assumes the worse, which she did. She was either really happy I am trans* or that I'm not resigning, or possibly both! Anyway she had an extremely positive reaction. I'd like to think I'll get the same from everyone else in the office but I expect at least one, possibly two, will be less than enthusiastic, a few others might be utterly confused... could be wrong, I'll know soon enough I suppose. 18 hours! gulp!!!!

[Cindy]

You will be flying Sis!

After this nothing will be ever awkward again.

[Ms Grace]

After this nothing will be ever awkward again.

Funny, that's what I said after having a colonoscopy four years ago!

Despite a mild case of the jitters I actually feel quite relaxed about this. There aren't a lot of people in the office anyway, I know a many of them quite well and am on good terms with all of them (I believe!).

[Jenny07]

So you're going to get into politics! Just make sure its the correct party! Good luck with that.
Some people take this quite seriously.

Ok so your going to be smiling a heck of a lot more and be happy, taking drugs!

Best of luck tomorrow and hope all goes well.

Hugs for you
Jen

[immortal gypsy]

]I would of started saying we all have to be quarantined it would get there attention but I have been told I have I very warped mind.  In all seriousness it is good to be selfish. If you try to find the perfect moment to tell significant people parents partners family you can often fail.  I think Alice Morse Earle sums it up best. "The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present". Good luck for the week ahead hope it all goes well

[Carlita]

78 days... 7 days to go!

one week! eep!

So today I took some steps towards whatever I need to do to get my name changed. The woman from the registry who I spoke to on the phone was very understanding when I told her I was transgender.

Sent out an email to staff today, inviting them to hear some "exciting personal news" which I'll tell them in a get together tomorrow. The first thing they would have thought was that I'm resigning, so I assured them that wasn't the case and added a few other fanciful scenarios about what it wasn't about...

That was enough to pique their interest so they'll all be there! Yikes!

One colleague won't be in the office tomorrow so I decided to tell her today. We've had a few high profile resignations at work lately so as soon as anyone says they have some "news" everyone assumes the worse, which she did. She was either really happy I am trans* or that I'm not resigning, or possibly both! Anyway she had an extremely positive reaction. I'd like to think I'll get the same from everyone else in the office but I expect at least one, possibly two, will be less than enthusiastic, a few others might be utterly confused... could be wrong, I'll know soon enough I suppose. 18 hours! gulp!!!!

Good luck, Grace! Love your tantalising message!!

And if it's any help, I can tell you that in all the times I've come out to people the response from friends, co-workers, siblings and parents has been uniformly positive and supportive.

The response from wife and children, not so much!

But just so long as you stick to family and colleagues, I reckon you should be fine. And if they see you looking as cute and as happy in person as we see you looking in the pics that you post, the only problems you may encounter could be jealous gals and pestering guys .. but you can cope with that, right? 

[Joan]

Fantastic, Grace

And good luck tomorrow!

[930310]

I wish you the best of luck tomorrow!

[Rachel]

Good luck tomorrow. I am sending positive thoughts your way.

[Jenny07]

So we're all dying to know how it went?

I guess you are out on the town with the girls having a ball as it all went so well.
Just be home before midnight.

[Cindy]

Do Sydney taxi drivers use pumpkins?

Hope it went well Grace.

Cindy waits for news!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ms Grace]

77 days... 6 days to go!

OK...! So the announcement to staff went really great. I think people were a little stunned initially, but I massaged the situation and kept it light and breezy, didn't get heavy or emo, everyone (with the exception of one) seemed very supportive. The one who wasn't is feeling she will miss the male version of me, I reassured her I won't be much different in a lot of ways. So that's all great.  Afterwards I chatted with quiet a few of the women in small groups or one on one. One woman, who never gives hugs, flung herself at me with a bear hug that almost knocked me over! I still have one or two to tell but that will wrap it up and I will be starting from next week as Grace...

...except...

About a month ago we lost the best supervisor I've ever had. That woman was great but got a "better job" and left after only seven months. Late this afternoon, after all the festivities were over and I was trying to get some work done I discovered there's a very high possibility the organisation may hire possibly the worst woman I've ever had the displeasure of working with as the replacement. A bully, a sociopath, a manipulator, paranoid and divisive...and there's every chance she will be my new supervisor from next week. I left my job 15 years ago because of her (and she wan't even my supervisor then) being in the same room as her made me sick to the stomach with fear and loathing. I'm not the only one that knows she would be destructive for the organisation, I hope we can convince the boss not to take her on. Otherwise the day she starts is the day I go on indefinite stress leave.

Never simple is it? You get one good moment and the next instant life blows it right out of the water... we'll see what tomorrow brings. I know the boss is desperate to hire someone but we can't be that desperate. What a utter major upset to what was an awesome day.

[Joan]

Oh, Grace...

I was so glad to hear that the meeting went well and then I read the next part

I've had some appalling bosses in the past, and I know that awful feeling well enough.  I hope you can convince the ones hiring to see sense...And if not find a way to make it work.

Maybe she's mellowed in 15 years???

[Ms Grace]

I hope you can convince the ones hiring to see sense...And if not find a way to make it work.

Maybe she's mellowed in 15 years???

Well I hope so... it has been a roller coaster ride this last 24 hours...

76 days... 5 days to go!

Had a terrible night last night, worrying about the possibility of that woman being hired. I think I've had a mild virus or something too because I've been running a slight temperature although that has hopefully passed. Didn't help with my mood though, felt sick to my stomach.

Lots of work at work today, go in early and just slogged through that and then some back to back meetings. Had lunch with a friend I've known for 30 years. I said to her "I'm trans gender..." and she said "oh, sweetie I've always known!" That was a pretty good response, eh?

I've now told the two other people at work who didn't know, one of them, an older Chinese lady who I actually thought would be pretty weird about it was actually very excited instead.

Then I had a word with the boss about the psycho woman she's thinking of hiring. Yes, it was on the cards alright. I was pretty blunt but didn't exaggerate. Another colleague who knew about some of this woman's behaviour was there and able to add additional info, some of it quite damaging. Anyway, the boss did seem a bit perturbed and said she'd take it into consideration. Problem is, being a sociopath means this woman is quite the charmer when she wants to be. ugh. We'll see!

Went to visit my shrink - got changed into gal-mode and walked up the road to his office. Had a useful session talked about my feelings around coming out to my folks.

Went back to work and didn't get changed back into guy-mode. I was going to give them a quick preview and then got stuck in the office for the rest of the afternoon as Grace. No one minded! It was a great, natural & unweird feeling I have to say. Afterwards went to the local pub with a couple of colleagues for a quick drink and chat...one that was totally not about me! yay! Caught the train and walked home, wow am I exhausted!

[Cindy]

5 days looks destroyed!