95 days to go...!

[Ms Grace]

+4 & counting

Day 4 was a big day! We had a major work function, about 130 invited guests (including politicians, NGO CEOs, media, plus a whole bunch of people who only knew me as dude-me) at a significant public venue. Last time we held something similar I remember posting in "What made you both happy and sad today?" that being at the event in guy mode made me sad, I really wanted to be there as Grace but thinking that maybe next time I could be there as Grace made me happy. And to be honest, it was this event which was a major factor in me going full time at work sooner than planned. If I hadn't gone by the start of this week then I would have been feeling the same way as I did at the previous event, possibly worse. So I leapt early in part for today. And I'm so glad I did. All that "blah" I was feeling the last time? Gone. I didn't feel awkward or nervous, I felt great. I was there as me and it felt so utterly natural and normal. I blended in nicely, and those people who only knew dude-me? Most of them didn't even recognise me! I had to get right in their faces before they realised who I was. And they were all so accepting, and the women in particular were very complimentary.

I have to admit I still can't get over the fact women talk to each other in the rest-room. Had a work colleague come in while I was (literally) powdering my nose and she struck up a conversation as if we were standing in the kitchen at work. It's nice though. Just find it... different. And I felt thrilled she was relaxed enough around me to chat like that and not rush straight into the stall and lock the door!

Back at the office one of my colleagues later remarked that my whole body language and demeanour had changed, she added that she felt she was reacting differently to me, that she felt more at ease with me. Admittedly we had an antagonistic working relationship when she started some 5 years ago, but I had thought it had been fairly amicable for the last couple of years. Apparently she see's things are even more amicable. She remarked that she felt I had made it very easy for her to accept me as a woman. That was pretty cool.

So I'm pretty happy with how the first week went. I have Friday off and will be working from home on Monday - here's hoping next week goes as well if not better!

[Jenny07]

Hmm

I bet you didn't plan on the weather.

[Cindy]

Still having some weather are we?

Congrats Grace.

Oh yes the restroom chats!

I had an engineer in today who I'm very sure had been 'warned' about me. He was very shy and quite hesitant. As I had no one in my lab except men and myself today he did relax. At the end of the day he shook my hand and as I thanked him for all of his help, he responded by saying I was a remarkable woman and he was so pleased to have met me.

Nice I thought!

[Ms Grace]

Yeah, the weather was the pits - at least it was an indoor thing and I didn't get drenched. Women's shoes are not made for puddles!

I had an engineer in today who I'm very sure had been 'warned' about me. He was very shy and quite hesitant. As I had no one in my lab except men and myself today he did relax. At the end of the day he shook my hand and as I thanked him for all of his help, he responded by saying I was a remarkable woman and he was so pleased to have met me.

Always nice to get that kind of compliment. At the moment people are treating me as someone transitioning, I do look forward to being treated totally as a woman.

[Tessa James]

Hi Grace, congratulations!  I have been too busy to drop by lately but it is a treat to catch you in debutante status.
You are wonderfully ready and a rock out star.  I hope you enjoy the initial celebrity and well merited recognition and encouragement from your community.
You make me smile girl!

[Rachel]

Ms Grace, I am so happy for you. I love reading about how the work people interact with you.

[Ms Grace]

+5 & counting

After the highs of Thursday, Friday was a total downer... because I was utterly sick. Virus or food poisoning, dunno, don't think I've ever felt so craptacular. Spent the day in bed, sleeping, too weak to do anything.

I was going for a three hour beard zapping session too but there was no way that was going to happen. A shame, that's a few hundred follicles that have had a stay of execution... good news for them I suppose!

Anyway, feeling better now... and hungry... which is a good sign. Think I'll have to take myself clothes shopping this weekend to celebrate my recovery.

[Jenny07]

Hope they were OK with last minute cancelation. Have another one next Saturday myself.

Nice to see you're better and going to hit the shops. Watch out Grace is out and about.
Have to go into work today 

Seems like it almost normal now for you.
Incredible.

J

[Ms Grace]

I think they're OK with it, I have a "good track record" apparently!

And I have to admit to being amazed at how normal it does feel. For me anyway. Being at work as Grace just seems so natural and easy I don't even think about it most of the time.

I mentioned to someone that I don't think I ever received so many compliments about my appearance or clothes when I was a dude!

[Ms Grace]

+6 & counting

Still recovering from the tummy bug - much, much, much better than this time yesterday but still weak and need to sleep a lot. Had to go shopping for essential supplies but felt so crap I couldn't be bothered shaving or anything to get me presentable so went in guy mode... sure felt weird and confusing to say the least. Got it over and done with and headed back home ASAP.

Since I had nothing better to do I outed myself on Facebook... (changing my profile pic and gender at the same time)...

Hey FB friends - some of you already know this but it's time to make it Facebook official... I'm transgender and after a considerable amount of soul searching and similar cliches I've decided to transition to female - my identified gender. This has been fairly seismic as you may imagine but I'd really like to thank my wonderful family, friends, colleagues and workplace for their support and acceptance of me in this process - it has meant a LOT. (crying now!) So yeah, as of last Monday I went "full-time" as Grace and it has been simply awesome - I know it's not an easy thing for people who are comfortable in their gender to understand but this has made a world of difference to my sense of self, my personal well being and happiness. I'm still the same person, still interested in the same stuff and still as utterly cynical as ever but if you can can call me Grace from now on, and use she/her it would be deeply appreciated. See you round the interwebs or in real life real soon!

I've received nothing but positive comments and a butt load of Likes... yay for Facebook friends! Most of them I know directly and see on a regular basis, some are family and others I know through art connections, there's only a very few who I don't know directly in person just through associated projects.

This from my sister...

I love you Grace and am very proud of you xox

Seriously, makes me cry!

[Joan]

That comment from your sister got me going too (T_T)

I hope you get over the bug soon

[Ms Grace]

+8 & counting

Didn't have anything to report yesterday... was still recovering from whatever ailed me on Friday. But I was good to go this morning, so after spending the last three days in bed I decided I was going to work today. An interesting challenge too, because I'm on a new committee with other staff that meet with some architects (about our pending move to new premises). Now some might say the event we had last week with 130 or so guests would be the bigger challenge, but sitting in a meeting in a meeting room with three guys I've just met and being able to maintain a passable persona for almost two hours is definitely trumped the event. Anyway, I think it worked. When I showed one of the architects our server room and IT set-up he was talking to me... until one of the our staff from the meeting, a guy, came in and then he spoke exclusively to him. Might as well have not been in the room! I think that qualifies as passing...?! Have to say I knew men excluding women from conversations happened but still found it weird to have it happening to me!

I think my novelty factor is wearing off (yay) and I'm quickly becoming regarded as one of the women. I only got misnamed once today (fortunately, not in the meeting). I overheard one staff member quite effortlessly talking about my participation in another meeting, calling me she and Grace and it just made me feel awesome.

A weird thing happened on the way home. Getting off the train a guy asked me if I'd left my bag on the seat (turns out it belonged to another woman) - nice of him to ask. But he reached up (he was sitting) and touched me gently on the arm which really startled me. No way a guy would have done that to me had I been in dude mode! Found it surprising. I never did that to women (or the ignoring thing I mentioned above) but is this what most men are like?

Anyway, went clothes shopping (postponed from Saturday) en route from the station. Got a good haul and am now $$$ poorer!

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Grace,
Just a quickie,

Back at the office one of my colleagues later remarked that my whole body language and demeanour had changed,

And essentially that's all I've ever seen from you. That changed demeanour that was formed within and radiated outwardly is something we as individuals find hard to see in ourselves. Yet it is plainly obvious to everyone else.

Keep doing what you're doing. It only gets better from here on.

Huggs
Catherine

[Ms Grace]

...essentially that's all I've ever seen from you. That changed demeanour that was formed within and radiated outwardly is something we as individuals find hard to see in ourselves. Yet it is plainly obvious to everyone else.

Keep doing what you're doing. It only gets better from here on.

Thanks Catherine! I think a lot of it has been repressed body expression I've long wanted to use but just never allowed myself to since most men don't use it and people just thought I was gay if I did stand, gesture, walk or sit in those ways. Great to be able to just let it out, feels natural.

[Ms Grace]

+9 & counting

A selfie I took at work today. I'm writing a short re-introduction of myself for our newsletter and needed a pic. I didn't have to write the article but the broader NGO community sector I work in can be gossip intensive so I thought I'd just put out a brief piece to confirm anything that might start moving through the grapevine and hopefully squish anything ridiculous.



If you're wondering about the "gargoyle" on my shelf that's a loooong story!

Bought the dress yesterday as part of my shopping spree. Got some very complimentary comments today.

There are only women in the section of the office I'm working in (all older than me)... one of them said, "we seem to be talking about girly stuff a lot more lately, must be because of Grace!" 

[Ms Grace]

+10 & counting

Not even the lady who serves drinks at the local watering hole recognises me, and she's been there for years. Seriously?

I love working in the Community Sector, it must be one of the few strata of existence where telling someone you're trans* and have transitioned to female is met with "that's great news, congratulations!"... it's like announcing you're pregnant or getting married! Not that I'm complaining mind you, I'd rather that than what many other people endure in their employment sectors. But it is amusing.

Had to use a women's public rest room this afternoon - there was an ad for a vaginal dryness treatment on the back door of the stall. Well, obviously, makes sense but I was still "OK, that's novel"! First time I've come face to face with such blatant "lady's problem" advertising in a public space. On reflection though, what was really remarkable was that it hadn't been defaced with lewd graffiti... well, duh, of course not, I wasn't in the men's rest room!

[Ms Grace]

+18 & counting

Time for an update... things have been going great. Went out three nights in a row this week:

• Had dinner and saw Captain America with a male friend (we have a long standing pact to see super hero movies, my gender shift of course hasn't changed that!). I've mentioned elsewhere that even though in the past we've always parted ways at his tram stop (and I'm a whole inch taller than him), he insisted on walking me to the train station afterwards. It was very thoughtful!
  
• Met with some of my artist friends at a local bar, I'd told them about my impending transition two months ago and this was the first time they've met me as Grace. They were very complimentary and there was some chatting about how things were going for me but other than that we shared and talked about art we've been working on. So great not to be the centre of attention - just the way I like it!
  
• Had drinks after work with a colleague and an ex-colleague (who knew of my transition but had left before it happened at work...she gave me a beautiful necklace to celebrate!). They're both women and the three of us had a right ol' gossip, it was a lot of fun. Even more awesome was having the waitress call us "ladies"

Today I was in interviews all day to fill a vacancy at work - that's right a trans* person who's on the interview panel!

It's been a great week but I am seriously exhausted, so glad I have Friday off...I'd be "more glad" if it wasn't so I can have three hours of electro but I think I'll cope.

[Jenny07]

The things a girl has to do....

Enjoy the pain monster and say hello from me.

I'll be back.

[luna nyan]

It's been a great week but I am seriously exhausted, so glad I have Friday off...I'd be "more glad" if it wasn't so I can have three hours of electro but I think I'll cope.

Ugh, that can be more tiring than working. >.<
Hope you have a good session anyway and booked it for the morning so the afternoon can be relaxing (horrible weather and all...)

Sounds like things are going great!  I'm happy for you. Q('.'Q)