Bit of an update, and a HRT question

[Alexa]

I haven't posted in a while, been super busy with classes.

I came out to my mom via a letter about two weeks ago. For the most part it went well, I think her first question was if "things weren't working properly", not sure where that came from. Anyway, she said she would support me in any decision I made, but that she loves me as her son, and wants me to stay her son. Not sure what to make of that exactly. In the letter I didn't go into much detail about transition, only that I wanted to see a therapist to "talk things through" and "figure out where to go from here". When I was looking for a therapist, she voiced concern with finding one who didn't have an "political agenda", whatever that means. Watching too much Fox News I guess. She also wanted me to get my hormone levels checked, because maybe I had low T and that was the cause, which I quickly dismissed. Then she started pushing me to go see a family friend who is a Christian counselor, which I declined. I am Christian, and see no issue with being Transgender, so all I could imagine from that is some attempt at conversion therapy.

She also keeps bringing up the fact that I was not feminine as a child, to which I counter with not everyone fits the 'I knew when I was two' story. Not to make a sweeping generalization, but quite a few lesbians are tomboyish as a child, why would that be any different with a MtF lesbian?

All this to say, it seems to be going "okay". I didn't get kicked out or cut off, but there seems to be an "I accept any decision you make, as long as it's to stay male (not happening)" theme, which is probably to be expected.

Also a question about HRT, is there a minimum therapy time before a therapist will write a letter? Or is that completely up to the individual therapist? I forgot to ask at my first meeting.

[Ltl89]

Every therapist is different.  Usually, therapists see you for 3 months before deciding to write the letter, but that isn't always the case.  Make sure to ask your individual therapist how they handle it. 

Sorry about your mother.   My mom also was pushing a relgious conversion on me and wanted me to take testosterone because my levels were unusually low. Most parents look for anything they can to either dismiss the issue or to try and make it go away, so the reaction you are getting isn't uncommon.  I really hope everything will improve between you two and that she will learn to accept it. 

[suzifrommd]

Also a question about HRT, is there a minimum therapy time before a therapist will write a letter? Or is that completely up to the individual therapist? I forgot to ask at my first meeting.

Like anything, it's up to the therapist. If you go to someone who follows WPATH standards of care, those guidelines specifically state that there are no therapy requirements to be referred for HRT.

[Alexa]

That's kinda what I figured, but had heard the 3 month requirement several places and wasn't sure if that was a set requirement. I meant to ask my therapist, but forgot. I've only had one session, but she seems to be a no-nonsense type person who has several transgender patients, so hopefully it will work out. Being in a small-ish city in a south-eastern state, there is no gender specialist in the area, so I had to find someone who at least knew something.

[Megumi]

I haven't posted in a while, been super busy with classes.

I came out to my mom via a letter about two weeks ago. For the most part it went well, I think her first question was if "things weren't working properly", not sure where that came from. Anyway, she said she would support me in any decision I made, but that she loves me as her son, and wants me to stay her son. Not sure what to make of that exactly. In the letter I didn't go into much detail about transition, only that I wanted to see a therapist to "talk things through" and "figure out where to go from here". When I was looking for a therapist, she voiced concern with finding one who didn't have an "political agenda", whatever that means. Watching too much Fox News I guess. She also wanted me to get my hormone levels checked, because maybe I had low T and that was the cause, which I quickly dismissed. Then she started pushing me to go see a family friend who is a Christian counselor, which I declined. I am Christian, and see no issue with being Transgender, so all I could imagine from that is some attempt at conversion therapy.

She also keeps bringing up the fact that I was not feminine as a child, to which I counter with not everyone fits the 'I knew when I was two' story. Not to make a sweeping generalization, but quite a few lesbians are tomboyish as a child, why would that be any different with a MtF lesbian?

I have dealt with all of the same things from my parents. From we love and want you to remain as our son to the obviously this is because you have Low T, to this is the work of the Debil "I've almost lost my religion because of the intolerance I've received so far" to I have no idea about myself and the rest of the family does, the I never pranced around the house proclaiming I was a girl ever, to there's no way I kept things hidden for over 20 years without being caught. Truth is they almost found out many times but I was so careful to never let it out because I was ashamed about myself. It's been nearly six months since I came out to my parents and they still don't fully accept me. They tolerate me as long as I am at their house, they will not go out in public with me or allow me to be around when my niece and nephew are present unless I present as Male. I really have no hopes anymore that I'm going to have a "normal" relationship with my family due to them wanting me to stay in the closet until the kids are 18 which is 13 years away. That's not counting any other nephews or nieces that might come about in the mean time while waiting for that to happen which never will. I plan on moving forward in my transition with or without my family's approval. They don't have to cry themselves asleep like I do from hating myself every day I lie about who I am to the world, they just want their son/brother to say as is.

[Allyda]

I have dealt with all of the same things from my parents. From we love and want you to remain as our son to the obviously this is because you have Low T, to this is the work of the Debil "I've almost lost my religion because of the intolerance I've received so far" to I have no idea about myself and the rest of the family does, the I never pranced around the house proclaiming I was a girl ever, to there's no way I kept things hidden for over 20 years without being caught. Truth is they almost found out many times but I was so careful to never let it out because I was ashamed about myself. It's been nearly six months since I came out to my parents and they still don't fully accept me. They tolerate me as long as I am at their house, they will not go out in public with me or allow me to be around when my niece and nephew are present unless I present as Male. I really have no hopes anymore that I'm going to have a "normal" relationship with my family due to them wanting me to stay in the closet until the kids are 18 which is 13 years away. That's not counting any other nephews or nieces that might come about in the mean time while waiting for that to happen which never will. I plan on moving forward in my transition with or without my family's approval. They don't have to cry themselves asleep like I do from hating myself every day I lie about who I am to the world, they just want their son/brother to say as is.

I SOooooo much wish I had your courage and attetude to begin my transition 20-30 years ago. I waited on the kids to get bigger, I waited for my adopted parents to come around, and, I was very feminine as a child to boot. My adopted father who was Catholic tried sending me to a Catholic school. That lasted about as long as it took for them to try and cut my hair, lol! I ran away for 3 days. Anyway, I understand completely and if you need to transition now. I waited all those years being miserable crying myself to sleep, 2 attempts on my life, etc., and for what? Those who are still around of my adopted family haven't come around yet. So I waisted the best years of my life for nothing.