Disappointed, Angry, Sad and Considering Leaving - Rant

[valsharae]

I notice that posting in some threads can get impersonal. When you post something to a thread then see that your post has not been acknowledged/talked about/endorsed/confirmed/argued/etc, it feels rather rejecting  . I'm not actually crying but it's not as personal as I like it to be. It just feels like some post that someone wrote. The only threads that do get more personal are threads like this or where the OP asks for help and you offer them help. At least they acknowledge your posts!

I could just go to a real-life transgender/transsexual group so people can actually see each other and have a richer communication, but I just love writing about my thoughts in a trans* safe environment!

[Miss_Bungle1991]

I notice that posting in some threads can get impersonal. When you post something to a thread then see that your post has not been acknowledged/talked about/endorsed/confirmed/argued/etc, it feels rather rejecting  . I'm not actually crying but it's not as personal as I like it to be. It just feels like some post that someone wrote. The only threads that do get more personal are threads like this or where the OP asks for help and you offer them help. At least they acknowledge your posts!

I could just go to a real-life transgender/transsexual group so people can actually see each other and have a richer communication, but I just love writing about my thoughts in a trans* safe environment!

Meh...if someone doesn't respond to something that I say....Meh...so what?

Honestly, I went to our local LGBT support group and you could hear a frickin pin drop every time that I went there. I could have a more enriching conversation talking to myself. 

[valsharae]

lol

See, if I say what I think is a really good idea about gender in some thread, I get crickets afterwards. If I say that to someone who's trans* friendly, they'll show some sort of nonverbal or verbal confirmation that it exists. That's the kind of confirmation I'm seeking that may be hard to do in a forum setting. So, it's like saying "hi" then getting no response in some threads. I'm like "did I just say something bad or are they just shy or my idea is soooo good that it doesn't need any comments?" It's just my personal gripe with the way forums in general are set up. I would say I'm just seeking a more intimate communication

[Miss_Bungle1991]

lol

See, if I say what I think is a really good idea about gender in some thread, I get crickets afterwards. If I say that to someone who's trans* friendly, they'll show some sort of nonverbal or verbal confirmation that it exists. That's the kind of confirmation I'm seeking that may be hard to do in a forum setting. So, it's like saying "hi" then getting no response in some threads. I'm like "did I just say something bad or are they just shy or my idea is soooo good that it doesn't need any comments?" It's just my personal gripe with the way forums in general are set up. I would say I'm just seeking a more intimate communication

IRC chats and I.M. stuff might be more yer speed if that's what you are looking for.

Just a suggestion.

[valsharae]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I will check that out

[Ms Grace]

See, if I say what I think is a really good idea about gender in some thread, I get crickets afterwards.

Sometimes it's just that there are only so many times you can respond to the same question or observation which has been written over numerous threads every month or so. The most rest thread asking about "where did you get your name" I chose to bypass since I'd answered in the previous three threads asking the same. Etc!

[thevaliantx]

I have been looking at stuff over on ->-bleeped-<-.  The hrt timeline threads there are realy inspirational!  (But you have to watch out for people pretending to be transitioning (or having been doing it for some time) and using cis pictures.  What i especially like is people comment on your thread, about you, instead of trying to make a community thread into their thread.  Just be prepared for feedback from cis and non-trans folks. 

[valsharae]

@Ms Grace
I see, I see

@thevaliantx
Yeah, ->-bleeped-<-'s pretty nice. I love how the community over there are supportive of trans* people. There was even one thread where a post-op MtF showed pictures of her new labia and everyone was supportive of her

http://www.->-bleeped-<-.com/r/IAmA/comments/1m3ts3/

I like the way ->-bleeped-<- is setup where if you want to reply to a post to the main topic, it becomes like a little thread of its own. If you go to the ->-bleeped-<- threads, you'll see what I'm talking about

[valsharae]

I was told Susan's place was like a family. Rather than Susan's house, it feels more like Susan's city. It doesn't have the feel of a close-knit community, but rather more like a city-like feel. Everyone's doing their own thing and they only like you if you're similar to them.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

I was told Susan's place was like a family. Rather than Susan's house, it feels more like Susan's city. It doesn't have the feel of a close-knit community, but rather more like a city-like feel. Everyone's doing their own thing and they only like you if you're similar to them.

To quote Elizabeth Ferguson: "My family isn't even family".

Honestly, most internet "communities" aren't going to be that close. That's just the way it is. Yeah, some friendships may form out of them, but for the most part, it's just a bunch of people with one or two commonalities that happen to be on the same forum.

As far as the last part is concerned: In all of the time I've been here (under different accounts), I've come across a lot of people that I thought were pretty cool, but I knew only two people that I even came close to having anything in common with as far as interests were concerned. Most people around here had/have no idea what the hell I am talking about most of the time. (Until I launch into my many instances of blabbing.)

[thevaliantx]

I was told Susan's place was like a family. Rather than Susan's house, it feels more like Susan's city. It doesn't have the feel of a close-knit community, but rather more like a city-like feel. Everyone's doing their own thing and they only like you if you're similar to them.

I could not agree more.  I simply feel that I do not relate to anyone here.  All my life I have felt I was on the outside, looking in.  That feeling has not changed here at Susan's.  Often I feel that most here either don't have a lot to lose in transitioning, or they lost everything and are the past the point of caring because they have a new life to worry about.  I almost deleted my account yesterday, but decided to wait it out a bit longer.

[Jill F]

I could not agree more.  I simply feel that I do not relate to anyone here.  All my life I have felt I was on the outside, looking in.  That feeling has not changed here at Susan's.  Often I feel that most here either don't have a lot to lose in transitioning, or they lost everything and are the past the point of caring because they have a new life to worry about.  I almost deleted my account yesterday, but decided to wait it out a bit longer.

Please don't think that.  I relate to you.  I care about you and I want you to thrive. I want to ease this pain for you in any way I can.  We are all unique, but we all have suffered from GD.  I'm still here, BTW. 

[ErinWDK]

Please don't think that.  I relate to you.  I care about you and I want you to thrive. I want to ease this pain for you in any way I can.  We are all unique, but we all have suffered from GD.  I'm still here, BTW.

Thank you for staying!  I, for one, do look forward to your posts and they help me sort through my various issues.  Like needing size 13 women's shoes... 

[Jayne]

In the past i've been a moderator on several FB groups so I know how hard it can be when personalities clash, i'm full of admiration for the staff at Susan's for the fine line they walk between understanding & enforcment.

As others have said, we are all going through a difficult thing & this can cause people to lash out at the wrong people, it can also mean that innocent comments can easily be taken the wrong way if someones head is in a bad place.

I've been on this forum for about 3yrs & i've seen many arguments, on the flip side of the coin i've seen many more positive, supportive comments than negative ones so in the whole I think this is the best Trans support site on the internet so please don't leave us, we are enriched by your presence & would be diminished by your absence.