Coming out to middle aged siblings: how did it go?

[Joan]

Hi everybody.

I really appreciate all the experience and wisdom on this site, and I'd like, if I may, to draw on it some more.

I've come a long way in just a few months, coming out to my SO, seeing a therapist, starting hormones and slowly, slowly I'm beginning to plot a navigable path from where I am to full transition without turning my life completely upside down.  I feel really happy with how things are progressing.

Hormones especially have helped here, because the joy and satisfaction if feel in my physical changes have really confirmed my last remaining doubts about my true gender.  With this has come a much deeper acceptance of what had always be a deeply shameful aspect of myself.

Anyway, enough of that...I've got to the stage where it's time to come out to my family about this.  I'm in my mid forties, my siblings are all older than me, and them I will tell before I (eek!) tell my 80 year old mum. 

Of course, we've known each other for a long time, I don't know if they suspect as I've hidden it pretty well I think.  I love my brothers and sisters a lot and I really fear losing them.  Having said that, they're pretty cool people and generally relaxed and liberal in their attitudes.

I know each case is different, but I was wondering if anybody has any advice, or any experiences they could share.  Does being older make coming out to siblings easier, or does the very length of time you've known each other make their acceptance more difficult?

I'd love to hear.

Thank you.

[Jessica Merriman]

Does being older make coming out to siblings easier, or does the very length of time you've known each other make their acceptance more difficult?

In my case no. I am 48 and a retired medical professional and I have a 45 year old adopted sister (Industrial Engineer). She totally freaked and wanted to see ALL the medical information, test result, etc. so she could RESEARCH Gender Dysphoria and "cure" me of this terrible illness. This was over two months ago and she still thinks a "cure" is close at hand and not to do SRS because it would affect HER too much for me to transition. Someone needs a mood stabilizer and reality injection right? She cant believe I am so calm about the transition process even though I told her it would make my life real for the first time. Age doesn't to me guarantee smooth acceptance all of the time.

[Jill F]

I'm about to turn 45.  I have a younger brother who is 42 and a sister who is 30.   I told them just after I told my parents and had no idea how they'd take it.  It turned out that my brother was completely supportive and happy for me and my sister was completely unfazed, partially because one of her best friends from high school was MTF.

This may be no big deal at all.  Among other things, my transition taught me to stop worrying about problems that have yet to exist.  I now wished I had said something sooner rather than worrying needlessly for months.

Best of luck,
Jill

[Joan]

Jessica, thanks for sharing your experiences.  I'm really sorry to hear about your sister's reaction I guess, as you say, that age and maturity doesn't necessarily make for smooth acceptance.  I hope that she comes around to reality in time.

Jill, thanks for to you too.  I'm really pleased that coming out to your brother and sister went so well.  As you say, best not to worry about things that haven't happened and may never happen and about which I have little control.  Still it's good to get some positive reassurance.  Thanks for the good wishes