a polite response

[stephaniec]

First off I'd like to respond publicly to a pm a member sent me complaining of the questions I post. I would appreciate if that member would completely stop sending me any type of pm or e-mail in the future it is totally unwanted. The persons knows who they are it was a negative response to  right to post questions. I always believe while in posting questions I follow the rules of Susan's  Place. I have absolutely no intention of being insensitive to anyone. I am transgender I came to that acceptance 5 months ago by way of a near death experience. I found Susan's Place at the same time I started to transition. Susan's has been an oasis in a desert of hell. I've found a lot of friends here. There are   people here I really appreciate having as friends be it only as such on a pretty impersonal internet basis. some people have had very kind words for me and I truly am thankful. I do believe unless the moderators decide to ban me from asking questions , given that this is a free and open democratically run site that I have the right to ask questions especially pertaining to me being transgender. I'm in a process of understanding my self and others with the same problems pertaining to their gender identity. My questions are just trying to understand better. Yes maybe their boring and redundant for which I am truly sorry. I hope I can help others by trying to understand myself. Obviously  If you see my name on a post and you don't like my methods or questions just ignore me. It usually takes less then a day if not sooner for that post to recede into oblivion if there are no responses to it. It's just easy and harmless to ignore a post and the post will disappear. I'm so very sorry if ever I have triggered someone or in any way caused a problem by asking a question. All I can say I've learned quite a lot from Susan's that I could never have from any other source. I will also say that as long as Susan's doesn't ban me I'll be here asking away all with the rules in mind . thanks to every one . I'm truly sorry for the rant but like others I am an extremely sensitive little camper and I needed to say this in response to a person that doesn't like my  questions. Again I am sorry

[JaimeD]

I had thought you could block individuals from sending you a pm, but I can't seem to find that option anymore. Maybe it went with the buddy list functions.


Keep posting the questions you have, you aren't gonna find your answers otherwise.

[Kim 526]

You have every right to post here, just as other members. You are polite and ask genuine questions, and you seem like a very nice person. So if somebody has a problem with your posts, they can ignore them. Don't let it stop you from posting!

[castle of glass]

It's crazy how much goes on in PM's. Just keep being you Stephanie and ignore those that try and shout you down. x

[Rachel]

Stephaniec, hugs

Your posts are fine.

How can anyone learn if they do not ask questions?

[suzifrommd]

I like your posts, Stephanie. Sorry you had to go through this.

[Ltl89]

I don't see the issue.  As long as you are doing nothing wrong and abiding by site policy, there is no harm done.  You have the right to start threads and ask questions, just as much as any other member does.  If someone doesn't like it, all they have to do is click away.  So don't worry about criticism because you can't please everyone.  Believe me, this is coming from the most annoying poster and thread starter on susan's, so I know what I'm talking about, lol.

[Tori]

It is human nature to detect patterns and try to make sense of them. So, someone noticed you ask a lot of questions and incorrectly guessed as to why you do this.

It is also human nature to be suspicious of other people's motives. "Stephanie asks a lot of questions so she must be up to something nefarious."

The fact is people rarely do things for negative reasons. You ask questions for positive reasons, and the person who sent you a PM did that for positive reasons as well. The irony is, it seems the person who sent you a PM thinks you post for less than positive reasons.

You are absolutely correct Stephanie. Nobody is forced to read what you write. Many of us do anyway.

Stephanie, you do a remarkable job of communicating here without judging others. It is too bad we are not all as skilled as you in that department.

Now that you have vented, a bit of advice. Try to keep PMs private. I think you did a fine job of handeling this situation but I fear things may quickly get out of hand if people start debating their PMs in public. The P stands for private. If there is an issue, notify the staff and not the community. That said, I know first hand how raw emotion can get in the way of proper forum etyiquette.

Keep it up Steph and keep your head up too!

Aloha,
Tori

[Jessica Merriman]

I for one am glad you brought this up on the forum Stephanie. It is a great reminder for all to be courteous in PMs as well as the forum. Keep those questions coming! Everyone needs to be reminded the TOSs are for PMs as well as the forum and it is very clear in the rules. 🙂

[MalorieG]

Hi, Stephanie

Speaking from the perspective of someone who just joined Susan's, I LOVE your questions.  Thanks for asking the questions I'm dying to ask, but have been a WEE bit too shy to start a topic about myself 

And maybe they've been answered before, but for a new girl like me who doesn't want to wade through page after page of older posts, having fresh conversations about possibly already-covered-but-still-pertinent topics is really wonderful.

Just wanted to say thanks!

[vlmitchell]

I'm cool with your questions but I'll admit that they get repetitive after a while (as I mentioned in another post).

FWIW, peeps can be a**hats in PMs. Ignore the ever-loving stuffing out of them. Getting all aggro on a troll is *exactly* what the troll wants. Going passive-aggressive is gauche and, while I do stand by your right to call whomever it is out in public, drama is bad. No drama. This is a support group.

[Jamie D]

I had thought you could block individuals from sending you a pm, but I can't seem to find that option anymore. Maybe it went with the buddy list functions.


Keep posting the questions you have, you aren't gonna find your answers otherwise.

Jaime you are right.  I had a couple of obnoxious members on "ignore" and in one case they got upset when they could not send me hate mail!  Screw 'em.  One of the twits is banned now anyway, so I don't have to deal with her petty crap.

The option was in a dropdown menu in your profile.  It is gone.

[barbie]

I have never received such a PM. BTW, I like your thoughtful posting, Stephanie.

barbie~~

[stephaniec]

I have never received such a PM. BTW, I like your thoughtful posting, Stephanie.

barbie~~

thank you , did I ever mention I like the way you dress

[Colleen♡Callie]

I don't see anything wrong with your questions.  I think some people forget that some of us are new to acceptance, and/or the community and it is extremely new and different for us, and we're trying to learn the ropes.

As such a girl, your posts have helped me gain better understanding of things.

[stephaniec]

I don't see anything wrong with your questions.  I think some people forget that some of us are new to acceptance, and/or the community and it is extremely new and different for us, and we're trying to learn the ropes.

As such a girl, your posts have helped me gain better understanding of things.

thank you very much. I got worried I might of gotten a little annoying . I'm new to this experience of transitioning actually waiting for and experiencing changes and doubts. I know I'm coming upon a big challenge quite soon with summer approaching because I'm not full time yet , but the breast fairy has been kind so I have to think how to approach t shirt whether. I might just have to go full time. I'm just hoping my face catches up with my breast.

[JLT1]

 I like your posts. Keep them coming!

Hugs

Jen

[stephaniec]

I like your posts. Keep them coming!

Hugs

Jen

thank you I'll try to get more original though

[Sephirah]

Well, you know what they say:

The only dumb question is the one left unasked

*hugs*

No one is born knowing everything. And asking about things you want to know about is the surest way to form your own views on something, and get information you would not otherwise have got. 🙂 I've seen pretty much everything being asked during my time here. Often they're lost to the annals of history. Fresh people, fresh perspectives. It's a good thing, in my opinion.

Also, hon, I would like to point out to you, and anyone else, that if you receive PM's which you find go against the spirit or rules of the site, you have the option to report them to an Administrator. Much like reporting a post to the Mods. It works in the same fashion. And will be looked at accordingly.

[stephaniec]

Well, you know what they say:

The only dumb question is the one left unasked

*hugs*

No one is born knowing everything. And asking about things you want to know about is the surest way to form your own views on something, and get information you would not otherwise have got. 🙂 I've seen pretty much everything being asked during my time here. Often they're lost to the annals of history. Fresh people, fresh perspectives. It's a good thing, in my opinion.

Also, hon, I would like to point out to you, and anyone else, that if you receive PM's which you find go against the spirit or rules of the site, you have the option to report them to an Administrator. Much like reporting a post to the Mods. It works in the same fashion. And will be looked at accordingly.

thanks