How can I start being more feminine or girly?

[Pinkie]

I am an MTF and I'm going through a lot of things, talking with my dad, and therapy and all that stuff. But I'm just wondering if there are any tips you can give me to maybe present myself in a more feminine way. I want to start small and gradually increase over time so that no one makes that many comments. I really appreciate whoever helps me Thank you sooooo much!!!

If there is more information that you need let me know and I'll gladly share.

[V M]

Hi Pinkie 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here

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Hugs

V M

[Tori]

Grow your nails. 3mm past where they should be as a man. Then paint them.

Then work on voice.

Aloha,
Tori

(Thanks Beverly for the tips back when I asked.)

[Joanna Dark]

Do you mean looking more feminine or acting more feminine? I mean if it's looking, then there is a lot you can do. But you are who you are and you can't force things, like mannerisms. I'm pretty femme naturally and if I'm happy I tend to get really enthusiastic and talk in a high voice and dance around and stuff but that's just how I am. I guess one thing you can do is change how you walk. Women sway their arms.But there is a gracefulnes to it and it might come from bodysize, i'm not really sure. All I know is when I first met my ex, he said he wasn't sure if I was a man or a woman, I had been on HRT for maybe two months at very low dose, and the reason he thought I was a woman and started talking to me, is cause of how I walk and my mannerisms which he said made me look very pleasant and approachable and feminine. Lots of people tell me this. I will say I think HRT has made me even more femme some how. But that might be totally eliminating any inhibitions I may have had. I never had like a man mask or whatever, what I did was I hid how I am. I would actively stop myself from acting femme. I would have to catch myself a lot. But people picked up on it and would be like woah....you not only look like a dyke but you act like you're such a girl. I can't tell you how much I hated that because I really tried hard to not be trans. I did everything I could to not be this way. But I've just accepted it.

But if you give me a little more info on what you mean, I will try to help you. I'm trying to kill my heartbreak and unintended bitchiness by being as sweet as a rose petal lol so, really, you'd be helping me. Irony much heheh i'm such a dork

[Pinkie]

Well acting and looking honestly

[Ms Grace]

You should try to spend some time interacting with women, or at least casually observing them in public places, you'll be able to pick up mannerism and body postures, try to mirror or copy them either in public or private.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Pinkie,

Depending how old you are and what experiences you've had will impact on what you understand. First stop should be taking time out and thinking about all the things that make you what you are. From what you find, will help you assimilate to the woman tats inside you. Taking on all the glitz, glamour, wiggles and wobbles of what women aren't, will NOT help you develop your character into a more authentic woman of integrity.

If you want to build on your life  experiences, sit in a mall and watch how women interact and express themselves. See if you can relate to that in some way from what you feel internally.

Huggs
Catherine

[Joan]

Watch especially how women sit down and stand up again, how they move and the gestures they use.

As a guy you'll probably have learned how todo those things in a guyish way.  Now is the time to unlearn that.

If you let your true self out then she will take on these movements naturally and probably feel a real freedom of self expression in them

[Dahlia]

Unlearn your masculine way of moving etc and don't 'learn' feminine ways of moving etc. It's gonna look fake like hell and makes you getting read from a mile away.

[Nero]

I am an MTF and I'm going through a lot of things, talking with my dad, and therapy and all that stuff. But I'm just wondering if there are any tips you can give me to maybe present myself in a more feminine way. I want to start small and gradually increase over time so that no one makes that many comments. I really appreciate whoever helps me Thank you sooooo much!!!

If there is more information that you need let me know and I'll gladly share.

I would say the more you see and accept yourself as a woman, the more naturally it will all come. Even if you can't go out as a woman now, start seeing yourself that way. Remember that you are a woman doing whatever you are doing, even though the outside hasn't caught up.

[Jess42]

Study everyday normal women and how they react to situation, to each other, to men and so on. Growing long hair, shaving legs and underarms, wearing panties is something that will ease you into it and will make you feel a little more feminine without being too conspicuous. Slowly start shaping your eyebrows, do it too fast and people will notice. Find a happy medium between guy and girl eyebrows and no one will ever notice. Use lotions to take care of your skin. If you haven't started shaving yet, be prepared for a couple of weeks or a month of discomfort until your skin gets used to it, take your time and then use a good moisturizer and use powder with cornstarch where the bare skin will rub against clothing until you get used to it. I started shaving about the same time girls started and had no problems from the age of 13 to 21. I went four years without shaving while in the military and when I started again, holy crap, razor burn, bumps and just a general discomfort for about a month.

[Natalia]

As it has already been said, don't force anything or it may look too artificial.

One of the major tips is that women take less space when they stand or sit. While men sit with their legs wide open, women sits with them crossed or closed with the knees touching each other. When men are standing, they usually are on some very typical masculine pose, on a way they can look strong and dominating. Women tend to get their elbows close to their torso and get their legs close together and they get a more helpless look.

Don't force trying to do things like most women do, but try to stop doing like men do and you will start to naturally fall into more feminine poses.

Mannerisms can be a give away, because you may fall into the gay mannerisms if you don't watch out. Women usually have very typical mannerisms but they are not overreacted and sometimes they are not too obvious. You should watch and on the right occasions you may try some, but remembering to not overreact and look too flamboyant.

The way women speak is normally more musical than men. Women talk slowly and they transmit more emphasis on some words. Again, watch women talking and pay attention. When you start having lessons to change your voice to a more feminine pattern you will learn that, so don't worry about it now.

You may want to dress on a more androginous way. Try buying unissex clothes or even feminine jeans. They are very common for both men and women today.

Get away with everything that is worn only by men. If you have masculine watches, stop wearing them. Is you wear glasses/sunglasses, change them to a feminine or unissex frame.

Let your hair grow and style it on a way it doesn't scream "male". Slowly change your eyebrows and pluck them on a way you can thin them out and shape them to an arch, but don't exagerate or you might end having drag queen eyebrows.

And moisture your face and stay always close shaved. Use cleaning products for your skin and don't forget the sunblocker! You may wear some make-up to hide the beard shadow. If done correctly no one will notice.

[Paulagirl]

Unlearn your masculine way of moving etc and don't 'learn' feminine ways of moving etc. It's gonna look fake like hell and makes you getting read from a mile away.

Exactly!!
I've been asked so many times 'How did I learn to act like a woman?' The answer is very simple. To a TS, the woman is already inside there, just stop acting like a man.

[FrancisAnn]

 I agree, for me I had to fight it to act/look male. Just enjoy who you are inside, have fun, shopping, experimenting, colors, makeup, nails, shaving your legs, flirting with men if you like men, cooking, etc....  Just have fun GF.

[noleen111]

My biggest advice is to watch women and how they interact with each other...

And..

Grow ur nails.. Maybe even put some clear nail polish on it
Shave ur legs and pits
Grow ur hair
And for u wear panties and wear a bra.. If u are still flat.. A sport bra will make u feel female
Cross ur legs when u sit.. Aka sit like a lady..

[FrancisAnn]

One thing that was fun for me & still is was having a woman friend to enjoy being her close girl friend.

Maybe confide with a girl friend that you want to become more like her. You be suprised on how supportive girls or women can be. Then the two of you have fun, do your nails together, play dress up some, wear different types of clothes, go shopping together, gossip about boys/sex, maybe cook if you like, let her give you advise on colors, styles, life, etc....  Just a thought.

I have a very nice woman friend, a woman I went to grammer school with that is such fun. We go shopping together, share life stories, she is a grand mother & tells me about her Gchildren. I tell her about my life, new men, my plans, etc. It's fun to share & learn from a nice woman friend.

[Allyda]

Myself and my most recent ex-girlfriend have become much closer as friends than we ever were when we were together. She calls me when she needs a shoulder and I call her for the same. We never argue like we used to and yes, we do our nails together. Her daughter now call's me Aunt Ally. She's 3 going on 4 and what a joy it is to be able to share in hers and her mother's lives. Yes having a best girlfriend is great!

[Michelle G]

Here is a cute article I just read, 20 things girls do

http://m.tickld.com/x/20-things-women-do-that-men-probably-dont-know-about-

[sad panda]

 honestly, I think the best thing to do is just be you. Don't get too caught up in what you should be bc transition is the process of being more like yourself, right? So just find what you personally are interested in and be you.

[Carrie Liz]

My personal favorite thing so far has been learning some of the little social "rules" in terms of body posture and speech patterns.

Basically, learning to shed the male dominating behavior and defensive behavior. Basically, men tend to lean their shoulders forward, lumber around a bit, and they talk in a manner that's very blunt, forceful, interrupting, and basically trying to get results fast. Where the female social behavior is all about being relaxed, being open, and using body language that is welcoming and inclusive rather than defensive and threatening.

I'm still learning this. But it has been REALLY fun to learn to relax and connect with people, and to start talking to other women with the intent of making social connections rather than just demanding something. The sheer difference in how women treat you when you do that is simply remarkable. They smile more, they relax more, they use a more dynamic voice that tells you that you've kind of been "allowed" in their personal emotional zone, and they want to talk with you. Where talking to them like a guy usually just ends up in quick defensive answers. I LOVE making emotional connections with people like that! It's what really started making me feel like I was finally being treated like a girl instead of just like a guy. All through my life, I've hated it when people gave me that defensive quick-answer treatment that they always give guys. Where now people are finally talking to me and connecting with me.

Basically, all you have to do is think in this way...
Women talk to make social connections with people. Men talk to get results. Women use body language that's relaxed, to make the other person feel welcome. Men use body language to assert their dominance, and get points across. With those things in mind, study actual men and women doing these things, or women making speeches versus men making speeches, and you'll learn very quickly how to communicate with people like a woman.

And wow, doing that feels SO good! It's been my favorite part of transition thus far, learning to have emotionally-connected "girl talks" with other women.