First of all, I just want to say I am always very bluntly honest, and honestly would not give a second thought to calling someone ugly if I thought they were, and they had asked me.
#1. You are definitely not ugly, at least in my opinion. I'm 100% sure many others share the same opinion.
#2. A temporary problem does not deserve a permanent solution, such as suicide.
I won't say I understand you 100%, because the truth is, I don't. And neither does anyone else. The only person who can 100% understand you, is yourself, and sometimes even understanding ourselves is so hard, we can't really expect others to understand us fully. What I will say though, is that while at times you might feel so alone, and like there is no way anything could be any worse than it currently is... I can tell you, I am 100% sure, even though you might not have realised it yet, that you have affected so many peoples' lives in a positive way, and I know many people would miss you if you were to do something so drastic as ending it.
I am sure 99% of us here have gone through tough times. Some will of course have had a bit of a worse time than others, but we all try our best to understand and give advice based on what we know and have experienced.
I too, contemplated suicide once when I was younger. There was this girl working at a fast food place near my house and my mum seemed to have the idea that this woman was for sure trans. Once we had stopped through the drive through on our way back home and when we got home my mum started telling my dad stuff like, "Oh, you know that girl in the drive through at (name)? I'm sure she's a transsexual, you can tell by the way she acts overtly feminine and when she gives you change and touches your hand she does it like...." and reenacted the way she was describing that she did it, and I don't know if she did it on purpose, but my mum seemed very transphobic the way she reenacted the gesture and how she said it all.
After that I was sort of terrified to come out to my parents. I thought of killing myself with a sword we keep in our house. (Don't ask.) I thought the world hated me, I had no friends, I felt like no one cared. My main motivation to do it was picturing myself dead on the floor and them coming back home finding me there and regretting everything they had done to me that offended me. I thought everyone would be sorry for what they had said or done to me. Then I thought what would be the point, since I wouldn't be there to get the apologies? Clearly, I was a mess, I wanted to kill myself to teach others a lesson in a way... To make their lives miserable for what they had done to me.
But I hung on, and eventually my parents forced me to see a therapist (albeit a horrible one) because they thought I was depressed. (No kidding.)
I really didn't want to go but I was forced to, I ended up coming out during a therapy session since my mum was in the room. It took me much longer to come out to my dad since he is super religious, but ever since I did, my life has been such an uphill. That first therapist I went to see, even if they sucked, gave me the open window. When I look back now, I think about how things could have gone on if I hadn't gone to that first therapist. Not saying you need to see a therapist right away. Even in therapy, I find one of the things that is stressed is that you do stuff at your own pace. You need to be comfortable with it.
I used to be the shy person with no friends that no one really liked. I still have no friends, not going to lie about that. I stopped talking to all my friends because I thought they would not be accepting. I didn't even take the chance. I somewhat regret it, but I managed to reconnect with 1 of my old friends but the most we really do is text. (And rarely at that...)
I still have no friends, but at least now, since I started transition, I feel so much better. I don't care nearly as much anymore about not having friends, I do my own stuff, look forward to a new future, and all the stuff I can do.
Happiness is out there. It may be far away, or at least seem far away, but it IS there, and everyone has the capability of reaching it, you just have to keep moving forward.
