Some things to think about,

[insideontheoutside]

Something in another post made me think about how, as a trans* or just a not the standard male or female gender identifying person, it's easy to get down about the fact that society will judge your gender based on your appearance and get it wrong. But think about this, there's plenty of people out there who are not trans and have no gender issues (I really don't like the term "cis"), but because of appearances may be misidentified as the opposite gender. I think it would be interesting to get the honest perspective of folks like this on how they handle it and see how it differs from the trans*/non-binary perspective. Since this is something that does effect trans*/non-binary people who are not going through a physical and/or social transition (or even though who have partially transitioned, etc.) as well.

It made me think that the whole hardline male or female and nothing "in between" creates issues for not just trans*/non-binary people but really anyone who may fall outside society's standard. If a women even remotely looks like a man they're either ugly or people feel they have some inherent right to make insulting remarks. Likewise if a man has any feminine features he's automatically classed as a sissy, gay, etc. The internet sometimes just seems to be a free for all where people can just take pot shots at others and throw around insulting comments that have to do with gender with no consequences. Something that might have only been said behind someone's back in the past is now said right to them or posted publicly where they can see. Just the other day I was browsing Pinterest and noticed a photo of a women and the comment was something like, "I don't know what's worse, that outfit or that she looks like a man". Not to go too much on a tangent with that but I think it's important to note how not fitting in the appropriate gender box is still very much frowned upon (and the internet makes it much easier to do so).

That makes me think that it's even more important now to be an advocate for change in society's perception of, and how they react to, gender. I really have no idea how to go about it other than commenting on the internet here or there.

[retransition]

I have thought about this too.  I remember I was on a (non trans) forum I forget what it was and there was a thread started by someone complaining about how hard it was, as a woman, to be tall and there were quite a few replies from other women who could relate. I remember that a few women talked about how it sucked getting occasionally misgendered. I also think as trans people become more and more in the public consciousness more and more non-trans people are going to start falsely getting "read" as trans.  I hate to admit this but even I am guilty of this (I think.)  There is a woman I know that at one point I was pretty sure was trans but after getting to know her am pretty confident she isn't. I just jumped to that conclusion based on some cues (some physical but also personality-wise and community-wise) that I now think I got completely wrong.  My assumption somewhat changed my interaction with her in subtle ways (I wondered if she would mention being trans to me at some point, I sort of wondered how she could be so stereotypically male in some ways, etc.) and now I just feel kind of scummy for even mentally going there (it wasn't intentional.)

On TV I can remember once on the Rachel Maddow show one of her guests accidentally somehow misgendered her. I forget what he said - it was a total slip of the tongue (I think most of us have these brain farts from time to time.) Anyway he wasn't confused about her gender and he immediately caught and corrected himself and it was actually a funny moment because she said "hey I get that all the time" and I am sure she was being serious in that she does get misgendered from time to time due to her body type and her presentation but could laugh it off all the same.


Slightly off topic, but I can't help but think of one of my best friends, who is a staunchly heterosexual male but because of his diminutive stature and build people used to assume that he had to be gay. (I don't think he gets it as much now in middle age but we haven't talked about it lately.)  He did a bad thing once and drove drunk and got arrested (as he should have been) and ended up getting beaten up by a "bad apple" cop at the station for being a "->-bleeped-<-got" based primarily on what he looked like.  Aside from that, I can remember him telling me about stuff he would have to deal with because of his size (a shoe salesman once mock-yelled at him that only women have feet that size) but nothing that he got particularly hung up about.

One of the things about creating this whole "cis-privilege" concept that bothers me the most is that I think a lot of "cis" people have to deal with some of the same issues, or very similar and analogous ones, that trans people do.  If we as a society are going to accept the concept of "cis-privilege" as something that is real I think maybe I need to come up with some sort of business model that caters to all of the card-carrying "cis" people out there who aren't receiving their fair share of the cis-privilege that they are rightfully entitled to. I see an opportunity for service providers to assist this emerging market going forward.  In addition to the privileges "cis" people know they are not getting, I could also find the cis privileges they aren't getting AND don't even know about, sort of like a tax adviser who finds extra deductions for his clients.  I guess I won't really be able to do anything really tangible for these people, but I can at least give them new things to get pissed off about which I think is still a marketable service if it is packaged right.

(sorry for late night nuttiness/snarkiness - i need to zzzz)

[insideontheoutside]

I also think as trans people become more and more in the public consciousness more and more non-trans people are going to start falsely getting "read" as trans.  I hate to admit this but even I am guilty of this (I think.) 

I hadn't really thought about that particular angle, but that's an interesting one. I've seen several topics on these boards about trans people being able to tell if someone else is trans. I think everyone's probably done that while people watching simply because "being trans" is something that consumes a large part of the trans person's life. Trans people can sometimes also be looking for gender queues in random people and comparing themselves to what they feel is either male or female. Trying to spot other trans people can just be a longing to find others who are going through what you're going through (which is, after all, kind of a natural human thing).

I keep hoping that pointing out similarities between things trans people have to deal with and things all those "normal" (yes, I'm using that in a snarky way  lol) people have to deal with could eventually alleviate some of the discrimination and the thoughts that trans people are really "freaks" and "abnormal". At the end of the day, we're all human beings with thoughts and feelings and different ways of expressing ourselves.

I see an opportunity for service providers to assist this emerging market going forward.  In addition to the privileges "cis" people know they are not getting, I could also find the cis privileges they aren't getting AND don't even know about, sort of like a tax adviser who finds extra deductions for his clients.  I guess I won't really be able to do anything really tangible for these people, but I can at least give them new things to get pissed off about which I think is still a marketable service if it is packaged right.

Ha!

[Shantel]

My "cis' female spouse had become an inadvertent trans reader on account of being married to me. I've had to caution her to reign it in because it's just as obnoxious as staring at people who have some type of disability or another. She admits that she would want to harm anyone who did that to me, lesson learned and case closed! So we can assume that it's going to be a long uphill battle educating the masses until it gets to the point that doing that to trans people and those who appear non-specifically gender challenged will become as socially incorrect as using the "N" word for people of color. Though I hate our PC speech environment I do think it will be useful in this context.