Straight men don't deserve to know the truth, majority just hypocrites & fakes

[Nero]

All I can say is, be careful. That little money a trick gives you is not worth your life. I think there are probably a lot of guys who will still see you if they know. Pretending to be a cis girl without SRS while having sexual encounters is extremely dangerous. Cis hookers are killed and dumped all the time for no reason. You can't keep this secret. What about the guy who wants vaginal sex and won't take no for an answer? What about the guy who wants anal sex and notices you've got something more? And... it's not always a quick or peaceful death. Many are tortured to death, mutilated. Really, this is not a good idea. I'm sure you know women who've been killed. If not, I can send photos. You don't want to be a statistic or die a horrible, painful death.

[Evolving Beauty]

All I can say is, be careful. That little money a trick gives you is not worth your life. I think there are probably a lot of guys who will still see you if they know. Pretending to be a cis girl without SRS while having sexual encounters is extremely dangerous. Cis hookers are killed and dumped all the time for no reason. You can't keep this secret. What about the guy who wants vaginal sex and won't take no for an answer? What about the guy who wants anal sex and notices you've got something more? And... it's not always a quick or peaceful death. Many are tortured to death, mutilated. Really, this is not a good idea. I'm sure you know women who've been killed. If not, I can send photos. You don't want to be a statistic or die a horrible, painful death.

Thanks a lot for your concern dear but in 2 months more I hope all this nightmare will be over as I'm flying to Thailand. I've been playing this dangerous game since 2009 when I began transition, lost my high-paying prestigeous job, family and the only way out was to do that to survive. And I can't work with ->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-s as other girls do anyways cos most of ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s are passive gays who want to be topped, lol and I don't wanna have to do anything with my thing down there that I hate the most. 

[Constance]

If I have to end up as Gwen Araujo whatever happens happens but I prefer die once than to die inside my heart/head everyday being rejected for what I am.

Please bear in mind that an expert witness who examined Ms. Araujo's body concluded she'd been beaten to death over a period of 3 to 4 hours. It was not quick and painless: she was tortured to death.

[Nero]

All I can say is, be careful. That little money a trick gives you is not worth your life. I think there are probably a lot of guys who will still see you if they know. Pretending to be a cis girl without SRS while having sexual encounters is extremely dangerous. Cis hookers are killed and dumped all the time for no reason. You can't keep this secret. What about the guy who wants vaginal sex and won't take no for an answer? What about the guy who wants anal sex and notices you've got something more? And... it's not always a quick or peaceful death. Many are tortured to death, mutilated. Really, this is not a good idea. I'm sure you know women who've been killed. If not, I can send photos. You don't want to be a statistic or die a horrible, painful death.

Thanks a lot for your concern dear but in 2 months more I hope all this nightmare will be over as I'm flying to Thailand. I've been playing this dangerous game since 2009 when I began transition, lost my high-paying prestigeous job, family and the only way out was to do that to survive. And I can't work with ->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-s as other girls do anyways cos most of ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s are passive gays who want to be topped, lol and I don't wanna have to do anything with my thing down there that I hate the most. 

I really hope so hon. I don't know your routine, where you're at or what exactly you're doing. But it only takes one. One night, one hour. One violent customer. No matter who he is, what he's paying, or where you're meeting. Please be careful.

[stephaniec]

She always told him NOT to touch that part of her BEFORE marriage due religeous/cultural reasons and as he was a gentleman he respected that and never even tried to touch and that guy loved anal more anyways but was NOT gay nor a ->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-.                       

just curious , what religion  and culture advocates anal intercourse as a lesser  premarital taboo,

[Ms Grace]

I don't think anyone has the "right" to know your medical history if you don't feel they should. So long as it has no bearing on their health. So unless there is something like an STD/STI sure, he doesn't have the right to know...

Normally I'd agree wholeheartedly - thing is mental health is a big factor in this, someone could kill themselves after this kind of revelation and I don't believe it is fair enough to say they need to get over their transphobia and prejudice.

[stephaniec]

Normally I'd agree wholeheartedly - thing is mental health is a big factor in this, someone could kill themselves after this kind of revelation and I don't believe it is fair enough to say they need to get over their transphobia and prejudice.

I need to agree with Grace on this point . we are not talking about hiding the fact that I ate too much candy on Halloween as a child and needed all my teeth extracted and replaced with dentures.

[Jess42]

just curious , what religion  and culture advocates anal intercourse as a lesser  premarital taboo,

Funny that you mention that Stephanie. I was listening to an SXM station yesterday, I ain't gonna say which station but a conversation came up about a virgin girl letting her boyfriend do anal instead of vaginal. She still considered herself a virgin and saving the other for marriage. Doesn't make sense to me but different strokes I guess.

And Evolving Beauty, just be really careful out there. We all gotta do what we gotta do to survive and I have been on the wild side myself when I was younger under different circumstances and there are some really derainged people out there. I think that I met every one of them at one time or another. Don't let yourself get into a bad situation and always have something to protect yourself with.

[JamesG]

It just occurred to me that this story might be a bit too "Madam Butterfly" to be real...

[FalseHybridPrincess]

Ι can imagine that most people would dump you knowing you are trans,,,

yet the love of your life isnt most people ...so ...

[mandonlym]

Normally I'd agree wholeheartedly - thing is mental health is a big factor in this, someone could kill themselves after this kind of revelation and I don't believe it is fair enough to say they need to get over their transphobia and prejudice.

I agree with this. It frustrates me sometimes that we expect so much understanding from people and yet we demand so much of the people we're with. Many of us take years and years to get over our own internal transphobia and be ourselves, whereas we just demand that other people get over theirs. We claim our right to be the gender we want to be yet rationalize being dishonest with people we're supposed to care deeply about. I don't get it sometimes.

[stephaniec]

I agree with this. It frustrates me sometimes that we expect so much understanding from people and yet we demand so much of the people we're with. Many of us take years and years to get over our own internal transphobia and be ourselves, whereas we just demand that other people get over theirs. We claim our right to be the gender we want to be yet rationalize being dishonest with people we're supposed to care deeply about. I don't get it sometimes.

yes, this is so mind boggling to me that people feel no need what so ever to divulge such a fundamental truth about themselves and expect the person they're with to be totally ok with the with holding of that information until the time the other partner comes across it. Of course I'm pre op so I can't speak as a post opt, but it still strikes me as strange when your talking of loving some one and wanting total love in return.

[Jessica Merriman]

It just occurred to me that this story might be a bit too "Madam Butterfly" to be real...

Glad I am not the only one with this thought.

[Joanna Dark]

Normally I'd agree wholeheartedly - thing is mental health is a big factor in this, someone could kill themselves after this kind of revelation and I don't believe it is fair enough to say they need to get over their transphobia and prejudice.

If anyone were to kill themselves over being with someone who is trans and not knowing, then they had issues far deeper than transphobia in the first place. And not everyone has had to come to terms with being trans. I've been gender non-congruent forever, and I've never had any issues with myself other than lack of money from being born in the wrong class structure. But that's all I got to say, there was an argument about this awhile back and some of the best, most prolific posters are now gone...forever. Maybe. Really, what someone does with their life is their business. It's as simple as that. I know I'm not well liked on this forum, but it's still the truth whether it's from my mouth or someone who is all wise and has 10 bazillion patcha on the back points.

[Jessica Merriman]

In 1987 and 1989 I ran on two males who were tricked by trans women who would disagree the statement just made. They identified as cis male hetero's by the suicide note who said they couldn't live normally anymore because of the sexual encounter and the truth abut their partners. I am not making any judgment here just stating the fact that cis male hetero's who are tricked respond when the truth is out in several different ways. Violence, suicide, acceptance or revenge. Do we have the right to do this to anyone without their knowledge, NO we don't. If someone is secure with their sexuality we don't have the right to trick them, period.

[Joanna Dark]

In 1987 and 1989 I ran on two males who were tricked by trans women who would disagree the statement just made. They identified as cis male hetero's by the suicide note who said they couldn't live normally anymore because of the sexual encounter and the truth abut their partners. I am not making any judgment here just stating the fact that cis male hetero's who are tricked respond when the truth is out in several different ways. Violence, suicide, acceptance or revenge. Do we have the right to do this to anyone without their knowledge, NO we don't. If someone is secure with their sexuality we don't have the right to trick them, period.

So, I get it. I'm not a real woman, it's just a trick? So, I should have to disclose to everyone because they might get their feelings hurt becaus two crazy people killed themselves...I'll say again, if someone kills themselves over a sexual encounter, they far deeper issues and woulda killed thmeselves anyway for some other reason. Period. BUT...Seriously, tricked? Is this a support site for transsexuals?

[mandonlym]

Yeah I think of it as an ethical rather than a moral issue. I don't think anyone is morally obligated disclose, but I do think that if one commits to spending one's life with someone, there's an ethical obligation for the partner to know important details about the person's life. And one of those details is their gender history. I've dated people, sometimes for long periods of time, without disclosing. But I've always told anyone I've loved.

Also, if we extend our sympathy towards transwomen who become suicidal over the issue, how can we dismiss the issues of their partners so easily?

[stephaniec]

If anyone were to kill themselves over being with someone who is trans and not knowing, then they had issues far deeper than transphobia in the first place. And not everyone has had to come to terms with being trans. I've been gender non-congruent forever, and I've never had any issues with myself other than lack of money from being born in the wrong class structure. But that's all I got to say, there was an argument about this awhile back and some of the best, most prolific posters are now gone...forever. Maybe. Really, what someone does with their life is their business. It's as simple as that. I know I'm not well liked on this forum, but it's still the truth whether it's from my mouth or someone who is all wise and has 10 bazillion patcha on the back points.

well. people might be hard pressed to kill themselves, but it is true that someone can get totally unhinged if they found out they've been sleeping with someone that in their pre modern  vision of femininity might cause a considerable amount of mental rage. l 

[Jessica Merriman]

So, I get it. I'm not a real woman, it's just a trick? So, I should have to disclose to everyone because they might get their feelings hurt becaus two crazy people killed themselves...I'll say again, if someone kills themselves over a sexual encounter, they far deeper issues and woulda killed thmeselves anyway for some other reason. Period. BUT...Seriously, tricked? Is this a support site for transsexuals?

No one said that, especially me. I consider you a woman just like I do myself. The difference is our histories can hurt the right people if we do not take their feeling into our consideration. Like it or not we have histories and all the surgeries and name changes will never erase that. I just personally feel I owe it to someone special to allow them access to my past just as I would expect access to theirs. How else will there be a relationship based on trust and respect. Finally, this IS a support site, but you cant trash it because you don't agree with someone. Attack me, but not Susan's as this place has helped thousands over the years and should not be held accountable to my opinion.

[Ltl89]

I think FA hit it on the head.  It's not our place to condone or disagree with someone else's actions, but we should acknowledge there are risks.  If someone decides to follow through after considering everything, that's there choice.  I really sympathize with those that choose to not disclose and will never judge them, but I don't think that is something I'd be comfortable with for myself.  Having said all that, I definelty understand why the op feels the way they do as I fear that I'll never meet an understanding guy.  I can't judge.