Longterm non trasitioning

[Bunter]

Howdy!! As a fellow non transitioning FTM (in mind I guess) I can identify with you. I have realized what was "different" about me about 13.. But as a child I was a tomboy.. I hated femme clothes. and called myself a "baby boy puppy" (I guess thats easier than just a baby boy??) Its hard.. Because as a male mind and female body you often get id'ed as "butch lesbian" or whatnot. I am in a LTR with my bf whom of which, before me, identified as gay... LOL confusing, right? Its hard to have urges that your body does not allow, and its a bit depressing at times.. But if you can make something workable (like myself) it can lead to healthy lifestyles still. He knows I am basically a "gay man" inside the body of a woman.. and a lot of my fantasies are and have always been about doing things with/to men that typically only other men could/would.. LOL. I maintain and identify as a female (only have 'come out' to less than 8 people.) But I think people have an idea.. because heterosexual women and gay men tend to crush on me quite frequently... and not be sure why... and all my strictly heterosexual boyfriends tend to end up becoming bi curious after me.. WHOOPS! (all but my current bf had not been told about my "secret") Just stay positive and comfortable with what you decide. I sometimes feel I was gypped on a 'real' life.. But I look at what I have, and put that thought away whenever I look at my almost 8yr old son and realize that if I was born a gay man, as I feel I was meant to be, I would have never met this adorable and simply amazing person... Sometimes life is just funny like that.













en................

Mango, great to meet you! Seems like we have similar stories- I've also dated gay men, or men who turned out to be queer.

[_mango_]

Mango, great to meet you! Seems like we have similar stories- I've also dated gay men, or men who turned out to be queer.

Thanks, Likewise!

Its hard to be a true FTM mindset dating straight guys.. I think even the ones that I did not tell sensed it in me.. Because I honestly do give off "bro" vibes... Even when I am wearing "girl" clothes. (my straight "buds" call me dude and bro.. Even tho I am still (in the open) identifying as female... And dating me is "weird" in their mind... because-- well I am like one of the guys to them.. Even if they don't understand why. LOL.)




This is why I don't get surprised when I attract either closet bi or gay men more than guys who are obviously strictly hetero. My vibes and the way I present myself and behave tends to stump most guys..

My current bf came into my life as a "gay" buddy... And he kept telling me he didn't know why but he had an intense attraction to me. That was three years ago. I told him my theory.. and it was an odd time for awhile... But... He and I just celebrated 2 year anniversary on the 2nd...

Anyways, when I date a guy who is "straight" I often find, after I have left them.. that they have engaged or became curious in homoerotic activities or just plainly came out as bi.. I feel sort of badly because my current BF is the only one I told about "myself" that I have been with.. And although he claims me as his girlfriend and is attracted to my feminine traits (body parts, shape, etc) he still knows that I am not a 'typical' relationship by any means.. Even though on the outside we can make it appear so. So I can't help but think maybe I confused the other fellas... :/

If anything, I am like the best of both worlds in my opinion.. I can be girly and cute like a chick.. (RARE/ BUT I MAY) or I can fart, play xbox, and make dirty jokes while tossing back a beer like a guy..