You know, the trans* spectrum encompasses a lot more than just transsexual identified persons. I don't identify as transsexual, for example, but I am still some sort of trans* individual. So even if someone may not be transsexual, they still may fall elsewhere along the spectrum. People do have differing ideas of who is and is not trans*. I deal with that by adopting a rule that says if a person considers themselves to be trans*, then that fully resolves the issue and I will not second guess them.
The idea that everyone who transitions is in a do-or-die situation was very common at one time, but it seems to no longer be a widely held or very factually accurate reflection of reality. No one transitions frivolously. But people aren't typically transitioning because they must do it or die. Some are. But until now, I had not heard that idea articulated in at least 10-15 years.
Perhaps the fact that people are not so frequently waiting until stresses are so great leads to more of the second thoughts, doubts, and efforts to talk oneself out of it. Personally, I think that this actually reflects a greater degree of rationality than is possible with a person who has their backs to the wall as much as the do-or-die situation. It also reflects that people are accepting themselves and obtaining treatment sooner rather than waiting until they reach a point where stress is so great that they are in a do-or-die situation.
Think about it: we are talking about a process that disrupts social relationships, risks exposing oneself to severe discrimination and devastating economic and social consequences, profoundly alters the biology of one's body, alters anatomic features, and costs lots and lots of money. What sane person would NOT have second thoughts about doing that?
This question of whether other people have second thoughts or not is one of the ones I get asked most often. My answer is: of course people have second thoughts. I think most do. Most have doubts. Tons and tons of people try to talk themselves out of it. I know one person who has changed names, changed pronouns, and started, then stopped transition so many times that I refer to them as "the many named one" because I have no idea what name they are using from one moment to the next.
The people who worry, second guess, and doubt are not the people I worry about. The people I worry about are the ones who have no second thoughts at all. Because I fear that, either out of desperation or out of obliviousness, they are not fully thinking it through.
