No desire to crossdress

[Emmaline]

Back to the original question...

I had the same thing when I started.  For me, it was not wanting to dress female because I would feel like a lug of a guy in a dress... something I was raised to see as a horrible thing.  Putting feminine clothes on a masculine body just highlighted the masculine body and tripped my dysphoria big time.  I didn't understand how crossdressers would do that to themselves.  I wanted to BE a woman.  So my version of crossdressing was playing female video game characters.

The moment I started to pass on HRT, that flipped.  By the time I started to dress in my actual genders clothes, I felt MORE feminine in the clothes.  Bingo.  It allowed me to go full time extremely quickly, and dressing in male clothes instead made me feel uncomfortable.

To be honest, I still don't get the whole crossdresser thing.  More power to them, but for me it was the body and the life... not the clothes that made it.

[Lostkitten]

That sounds so familiar! I really would love to wear certain dresses and clothes but as for now I just leave it more unisex like. I got the feeling it doesn't matches my body otherwise =/.

[Allyda]

I considered it crossdressing when I was forced to wear male clothing. It never fit my hips and it was nearly impossible to find a shirt small enough so as not to be too wide for me in the shoulders. And men's jeans were impossible to find small enough for my waist, fit my hips yet still long enough for my legs. Even if I could find pants small enough for my waist, I couldn't get them past my hips, so during these unfortunate times I always looked sloppy and unkept. And they don't make men's shoes that will fit my narrow feet. One time when I was 21 I had to be measured for a tux for a wedding. That turned into a nightmare. The place wouldn't rent me a tux, I would have had to buy it because of my feminine measurements which neither I nor my friend the groom, nor the bride's family wanted to do. This suited me fine(no pun intended) for like many others here, I absolutely loathed men's suits and tuxes and the idea of wearing one. Thankfully one of those things has never been on my body, lol! I ended up having to sit the wedding out.

So as soon as I was old enough I began always wearing women's jeans and shorts. This worked in the 80's and early to mid 90's until longer shorts became more popular and the style for men. Then everyone knew I was wearing women's shorts however I just didn't care. And since I was always so tiny I didn't get too much flack over it. I was also wearing exclusively women's clothes at home. They fit me and were just more comfortable. Though I was going through a rough time, I was so happy when I had my male fail now almost six tears ago and I got to give away or throw out all my male clothing. Most of which I didn't buy. I just never could bring myself to buy clothes that wouldn't fit. Most of my male clothing I had aquired through Christmas and birthday gifts from my adopted family much of it never even worn when I gave it away. I felt a little bad about it giving away presents, but I had no choice.

So because of how I felt and looked wearing men's clothing, I understand how some feel about not wanting to wear female clothing until they have the body for it.

Ally

[michelle82]

i also feel the same way. Currently if i wear female clothes it makes me feel worse, mainly because I still see a male when I look in the mirror. Most of the dysphoria comes from my face. I hope that through hormones, facial hair removal and and growing out my hair i will feel more comfortable presenting in female clothing. 30 years of testosterone running through my veins feels like poison from the damage it has done.

[ImagineKate]

Before coming out at home I dressed up all the time in private. However I felt so wrong with hair on my chest (and everywhere else, actually) and the clothes didn't fit because they weren't mine. 

Then I did a few things.

First things first I got rid of the body hair. HUGE difference.
Next, I got my own clothes that fit. This was great.

Then, I came out at home.

Now I dress every day. At home I present female but not really dresses and skirts because I don't want the kids blurting out in school that daddy wears a dress at home. It would be awkward until I come out to the school staff.

I shop for stuff on clearance and cheap. I also have an app for styling advice and I'm learning. Cis girls learned this when they are teenagers so I'm catching up. I really enjoy delving into it. However, my goal is not to look glamorous, it's to just look good or at least half decent.

And no I'm not on HRT. I used to self medicate but I don't anymore. However I do have a feminine-ish shape and proportions from before (measurements are almost an hourglass) as well as carry angle and other features so that helps. I am going on HRT soon though, and I am excited to see what it will bring.

I also need to address my facial hair. The therapist is emphasizing that and she's right. So I will be looking at laser and electro very soon and start that before I start HRT.

Anyway I enjoy dressing and I do it every chance I get. I have even been getting adventurous and going out in public dressed andro/femme. Nobody really bats an eye.

[barbie]

Before coming out at home I dressed up all the time in private. However I felt so wrong with hair on my chest (and everywhere else, actually) and the clothes didn't fit because they weren't mine. 

Then I did a few things.

First things first I got rid of the body hair. HUGE difference.
Next, I got my own clothes that fit. This was great.

Then, I came out at home.

Now I dress every day. At home I present female but not really dresses and skirts because I don't want the kids blurting out in school that daddy wears a dress at home. It would be awkward until I come out to the school staff.

I shop for stuff on clearance and cheap. I also have an app for styling advice and I'm learning. Cis girls learned this when they are teenagers so I'm catching up. I really enjoy delving into it. However, my goal is not to look glamorous, it's to just look good or at least half decent.

And no I'm not on HRT. I used to self medicate but I don't anymore. However I do have a feminine-ish shape and proportions from before (measurements are almost an hourglass) as well as carry angle and other features so that helps. I am going on HRT soon though, and I am excited to see what it will bring.

I also need to address my facial hair. The therapist is emphasizing that and she's right. So I will be looking at laser and electro very soon and start that before I start HRT.

Anyway I enjoy dressing and I do it every chance I get. I have even been getting adventurous and going out in public dressed andro/femme. Nobody really bats an eye.

I also have been like you.

barbie~~

[Skeptoid]

One of the things I liked most about female clothing was that it actually fit my body shape far better than most men's clothing. Granted my shoulders are a tad broad for my liking but everyone's got something they don't like. Seriously though, even wearing men's size small I often felt like I must look like a gangly hobo. (I did look like a gangly hobo.)

[JenLotus]

I actually considered it cross dressing wearing men's clothing and that I had to wear men's clothing as long as I did... that said, I dressed pretty gender neutral and ambiguous for a while. Lots of tank tops at home, t shirts and jeans out. Sports bra while out when boobs were undeniable. Got used to tucking over time. Under three months after starting hrt I was full time. Felt pretty normal at that point to wear either or, though now, almost a year later, I dress just as much for my comfort as ever, but I never come close to or think about cross dressing as a dude again.

Dono what I was thinking doing that in the first place ;P.

[Monica Jean]

I thought I may be embarking on the wrong path as I don't have much of a desire to wear female attire. 

Suits?  Can't stand them.  I see men in meetings wearing those things and I'm actually repulsed by them. 
Tuxedos?  Just as bad. 
Business casual?  Not fun but at least it's not male dressing up like suits. 
Workout/gym clothes?  AWFUL.  CAN'T STAND men's workout clothes.  Ever.  Bleccch.  Give me women's workout clothes 100% of the time.

Jeans and a t-shirt or collared polo shirt has been 'me'.  But really, I'm hiding behind not liking men's clothes in this choice of male attire.  I'm just not at the point yet where much of desire to identify as a woman with feminine attire just yet. 

This is a process, and that's OK.  I'm old enough to know that lessons are learned along the way of any lengthy process.  I'm learning!

Granted, I'm in week 7 of HRT, and I believe my story will be like others...once a certain threshold is reached, somewhere in the 3-6month HRT time span, the switch in the brain will be flipped to not want to wear male clothes much anymore. 

Either way, I'm going to enjoy all the benefits  of HRT...better mood, better sleep, smoother skin, no more depression.  The list is quite long for only being 7 weeks 'in' to HRT.  For now, I'm choosing to smile in my baggy, ugly men's jeans simply 'cuz I feel better in my own skin...better than I have in my entire life.

[Emmaline]

Oh I cannot go back to men's clothes.  You can't make me!

[barbie]

Oh I cannot go back to men's clothes.  You can't make me!

I also hate it, but occasionally I have to do that for various social purposes. However, the frequency of my wearing men's clothes has been gradually decreased during the last 10 years.

barbie~~