What made you unhappy today? 5.0

[Nero]

I severely regret all the frivolous purchases I've made over my life now.

I feel this on a daily basis lol. I'm like "omg if I hadn't spent $700 on a laptop 5 years ago I'd have that money now." Or the worst "...I've literally spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on food over my life."

For me, it's like I spent so much on dope, my arm should be made of gold. And booze too. I'm such an idiot. I'd seriously be well set now if I hadn't been a junkie. I made so much money. All in my arm. And throat for the booze... Ugh. Why? Why am I so stupid? 

[Adam (birkin)]

I feel this on a daily basis lol. I'm like "omg if I hadn't spent $700 on a laptop 5 years ago I'd have that money now." Or the worst "...I've literally spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on food over my life."


For me, it's like I spent so much on dope, my arm should be made of gold. And booze too. I'm such an idiot. I'd seriously be well set now if I hadn't been a junkie. I made so much money. All in my arm. And throat for the booze... Ugh. Why? Why am I so stupid? 

LOL. Nice. Well, with how much I spent on junk food and fast food, my belly should be made of gold. It was a self-funded project.

[Nero]

I feel this on a daily basis lol. I'm like "omg if I hadn't spent $700 on a laptop 5 years ago I'd have that money now." Or the worst "...I've literally spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on food over my life."


For me, it's like I spent so much on dope, my arm should be made of gold. And booze too. I'm such an idiot. I'd seriously be well set now if I hadn't been a junkie. I made so much money. All in my arm. And throat for the booze... Ugh. Why? Why am I so stupid? 

LOL. Nice. Well, with how much I spent on junk food and fast food, my belly should be made of gold. It was a self-funded project.

Haha I'd love to see that. My gut is huuuuge now. Mostly booze and pasta. It's hilarious. I actually freaking love it! And my health is good, liver and stuff slightly elevated since I always go to the doctor drunk. She doesn't mind. I had to have a pap smear last time and I was like - 'I'm gonna need another drink for that. Excuse me while I go out to my car.' She's trans friendly and pretty awesome. Didn't blink an eye.

[Shantel]

I had to have a pap smear last time and I was like - 'I'm gonna need another drink for that. Excuse me while I go out to my car.' She's trans friendly and pretty awesome. Didn't blink an eye.

You haven't lived until you get a finger wave by some pretty little female doc with her finger up your arse! Still I can't resist a little dark humor like, "Was it good for you doc?" 

[Jill F]

I feel this on a daily basis lol. I'm like "omg if I hadn't spent $700 on a laptop 5 years ago I'd have that money now." Or the worst "...I've literally spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on food over my life."


For me, it's like I spent so much on dope, my arm should be made of gold. And booze too. I'm such an idiot. I'd seriously be well set now if I hadn't been a junkie. I made so much money. All in my arm. And throat for the booze... Ugh. Why? Why am I so stupid? 

Jeez, you're not stupid, FA.  You are obviously very intelligent, but you are also a perfectly flawed human being who was presented with more than his share of obstacles in life that clearly have yet to be all kicked away.   Seriously, if I had all the money back that I spent on drugs and booze since the '80s, well, I don't know how much it was, but trust me, I think could have paid for SRS 10 times over.  And I've done countless incredibly stupid and reckless things over the years that could have resulted in death, dain bramage or lengthy incarceration.  So we tried to run from our problems instead of facing them.  I think we pretty much all do that at some point.

*more hugs*

[Nero]

I had to have a pap smear last time and I was like - 'I'm gonna need another drink for that. Excuse me while I go out to my car.' She's trans friendly and pretty awesome. Didn't blink an eye.

You haven't lived until you get a finger wave by some pretty little female doc with her finger up your arse! Still I can't resist a little dark humor like, "Was it good for you doc?" 

Well, she is pretty cute... 

[Adam (birkin)]

For me it's hamburgers, nachos, and convenience store runs. I've slowly been turning that around though, changing one crappy habit at the time, because my cholesterol was "borderline borderline" high pre-T and now is in the borderline high category. To be honest, though, I'm scared to lose weight because I can't bind and the fat is what keeps my chest disguised.

My doctor doesn't insist on tests like that, but if I had to have one, I'd probably find the strongest drug available and abuse it to all get out.

[Nero]

I feel this on a daily basis lol. I'm like "omg if I hadn't spent $700 on a laptop 5 years ago I'd have that money now." Or the worst "...I've literally spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on food over my life."


For me, it's like I spent so much on dope, my arm should be made of gold. And booze too. I'm such an idiot. I'd seriously be well set now if I hadn't been a junkie. I made so much money. All in my arm. And throat for the booze... Ugh. Why? Why am I so stupid? 

Jeez, you're not stupid, FA.  You are obviously very intelligent, but you are also a perfectly flawed human being who was presented with more than his share of obstacles in life that clearly have yet to be all kicked away.   Seriously, if I had all the money back that I spent on drugs and booze since the '80s, well, I don't know how much it was, but trust me, I think could have paid for SRS 10 times over.  And I've done countless incredibly stupid and reckless things over the years that could have resulted in death, dain bramage or lengthy incarceration.  So we tried to run from our problems instead of facing them.  I think we pretty much all do that at some point.

*more hugs*

Aww thanks honey. I don't feel so alone now and you have really made my day with your replies today. I was feeling very alone and suffering when you came along today. Your simple kindness made me cry. Thank you.

[Lauren5]

So since I made it downtown and realized that I wasn't going to make it to my therapist before her next client, I decided to walk the three miles back to campus (another mile to my building but I'd stop and eat at the car that's at the very west of campus. Genius me, or started to rain. About 2/3 of the way there, by a shopping centre, a homeless man asked me if I could spare a dollar so he could buy a chicken sandwich. My heart was broken. I couldn't spare a dollar for him, and I had to tell him I couldn't. Of course, I doubt he believed me, people always tell the homeless to go get a job or some BS like that. Whenever I'm asked directly, I give what I can. But I can give nothing this time. I feel like a horrid human being.

[Adam (birkin)]

That blows so hard Lauren. I remember one time a guy asked me for money and I legit didn't have anything and he goes "yeah, of course you don't."

[Nero]

For me it's hamburgers, nachos, and convenience store runs. I've slowly been turning that around though, changing one crappy habit at the time, because my cholesterol was "borderline borderline" high pre-T and now is in the borderline high category. To be honest, though, I'm scared to lose weight because I can't bind and the fat is what keeps my chest disguised.

My doctor doesn't insist on tests like that, but if I had to have one, I'd probably find the strongest drug available and abuse it to all get out.

Yeah, oddly for some of us, weight actually masculinizes. I felt that way before top surgery. I don't eat much junk, but I drink - Corona and vodka. And eat pasta - what's the point in being alive if you can't have pasta? 

[Shantel]

Yeah, oddly for some of us, weight actually masculinizes. I felt that way before top surgery. I don't eat much junk, but I drink - Corona and vodka. And eat pasta - what's the point in being alive if you can't have pasta? 

Well with a name after a famous Italian I suppose pasta would be a natural!

[Jill F]

Well with a name after a famous Italian I suppose pasta would be a natural!

This recipe will cheer you all up.  It's super easy and super delicious.  I learned to make this when I was a kid!

Jill's Quick and Dirty Spaghetti Carbonara  (I have another version that's a bit more gourmet and involved.)

2 or 3 eggs- room temperature
Kraft Parmesan cheese (the tall cylindrical shaker with the green label)
1/2 pound uncooked bacon strips (or more... )
3/4 cup sour cream- allowed to warm to room temperature (lite or fat free if you like)
1 pound or package spaghetti
salt
pepper


Boil water, add 1 tablespoon salt.  Do not add oil.

Cut bacon into 3/4" strips crosswise and crisp in frying pan, stirring well and separating so they cook uniformly.  Pull cooked pieces individually from pan as they begin to turn and place on paper towel.  Don't overcook (don't burn any) and save the bacon grease! (very important)

Add spaghetti to boiling water, stir vigorously to separate it for the first minute and cook until done (if it sticks to the wall, it's overdone).  This is a matter of personal taste.

While the spaghetti cooks, break eggs (2-3, depending on size and personal taste) into mixing bowl and stir in (this is pre-grated, folks!) parmesan cheese until a thin batter is created.  Take the bottom of a fork and scrape the batter up the edges of the bowl.  if it falls back down into a pool of goo, add cheese until it all sticks. having a thin layer over the most surface area is best.

Drain spaghetti quickly and fully, as to retain the most heat and remove the most liquid and dump into mixing bowl.  Take two forks and quickly integrate the cheese/egg mixture with the pasta.  The pasta will cook the egg.  Keep stirring vigorously until fully cooked and integrated.

Add bacon bits, 3/4 cup sour cream (more or less) depending on taste and as much of that bacon grease you like.  Salt and pepper to taste.  I love lots of pepper.

Stir until fully mixed and serve immediately.   I like a Barolo or Barbaresco with this, but a big Pinot Noir will work.

Ciao!

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Reading up on some of the above posts....I don't know....I try not to get too bogged down in regretting this and that. Sometimes, it ends up getting to me, but most of the time, I try to shove those thoughts away and think "get lost".

[MadeleineG]

Well with a name after a famous Italian I suppose pasta would be a natural!

My mind jumped to the great gourmand Nero Wolfe who, incidentally, I adore.

[FrancisAnn]

Gave in & smoked a cigarette. I went all day but just not enough strenght to stop 100%.

I have to stop 100% in order to have facial plastic surgery & to live cleaner & longer.

So far I've not been able to mentally control & stop this old stupid habit.

[Kyra553]

I'm still annoyed for missing my Endo appt by 30 minutes the other day. Now I have to wait over a month to have another one.    I'm officially wasting time on my transition and I hate it.

[Edge]

My son is throwing up. Looks like I'll be missing school tomorrow.

[Kara Jayde]

Gave in & smoked a cigarette. I went all day but just not enough strenght to stop 100%.

I have to stop 100% in order to have facial plastic surgery & to live cleaner & longer.

So far I've not been able to mentally control & stop this old stupid habit.

Have you tried Allen Carr's book on how to quit smoking? I read it last week and I've been off them, without a strong craving, since then, with no sign of giving in. I was a pack - pack and a half a day smoker.

[Kara Jayde]

Also, what's annoying me atm is having to hide my pretty painted toes under socks because I'm pretty sure they'd get me thrown out, hehe.