What made you unhappy today? 5.0

[Adam (birkin)]

Talk with a counselor, issues brought up. Why is it I sometimes come out feeling worse then I went in

Facing feelings properly for the first time is VERY hard. I can't tell you how many times I've scratched the surface of something only to run back into hiding to avoid the pain of actually dealing with them. As long as your counsellor is giving you ways to deal with these feelings, and make forward motion, rather than just exposing wounds for the sake of exposing wounds - it's OK if it feels a little worse before it gets better.

[Shantel]

Facing feelings properly for the first time is VERY hard. I can't tell you how many times I've scratched the surface of something only to run back into hiding to avoid the pain of actually dealing with them. As long as your counsellor is giving you ways to deal with these feelings, and make forward motion, rather than just exposing wounds for the sake of exposing wounds - it's OK if it feels a little worse before it gets better.

Yes, I liken it to peeling an onion layer by layer each session, it brings tears and there's a lot of kleenex tissue that gets used up, but there are revelations and understanding that comes of it and sometimes we get the tools to recognize the triggers and learn to side step it before we get sucked into it's vortex next time.

[immortal gypsy]

Facing feelings properly for the first time is VERY hard. I can't tell you how many times I've scratched the surface of something only to run back into hiding to avoid the pain of actually dealing with them. As long as your counsellor is giving you ways to deal with these feelings, and make forward motion, rather than just exposing wounds for the sake of exposing wounds - it's OK if it feels a little worse before it gets better.

He noticed I was carrying more hurt then normal,  then it all started some I told the rest I couldn't.  (I would still be there otherwise). Told to take extra care and not harm myself,  this is/was not my fault.  Still doesn't change the fact that I just want to run and not stop.

Yes, I liken it to peeling an onion layer by layer each session, it brings tears and there's a lot of kleenex tissue that gets used up, but there are revelations and understanding that comes of it and sometimes we get the tools to recognize the triggers and learn to side step it before we get sucked into it's vortex next time.

So will it be insider trading if I tell you to buy kleenex stock? I usually like the vortex,  when stress, chaos and mayhem are raging all around me is when I can find myself most calm

[Lauren5]

Mt roommate now somehow has a switch (probably in her room, I checked everywhere else, and she locked her door, which she never does) to turn off power to our entire apartment (except the fridge) and my room still doesn't have power regardless. I thought she'd get over it, me being gone and all. Now I just have to avoid her until she moves out. Easier said than done.

[Bombadil]

having a conversation wtih a friend that is just not going well. not about trans stuff. he asked me what's wrong and then when I told him, said "not everything is about you". shouldn't have said anything.

[EmoAlice]

I would have preferred never having the facial or body hair in the beginning.

The phrase "would have" is so often written as "would of", that when I see it written properly, it stands out and it takes a second for me to realize that it's the proper way of writing it.

[King Malachite]

I brought a King Endymion key chain on "sale" for 6.23 and once the sale ended, it was $7.99.  I thought I had gotten a good deal considering it was $8.99 originally, but now, they are having another sale and it's $5.99.  That hurt.....

[Adam (birkin)]

Augh! I ate some of my leftovers for breakfast and it tasted like alcohol. There was nothing alcohol related in it so I'm guessing something in there fermented. 

Note to self: learn more recipes for single people.

[Marcel]

My mother told me to stop ignoring my dad, which I've been doing due to that whole yearbook incident.
He tried to get me to fist bump the day after, acting like the day before never happened but now he's pissed at me for the silent treatment. Apparently, I'm supposed to keep giving him hugs and kisses no matter what.

I deserve an apology for his conduct. Just because it's his house doesn't give him license to throw the yearbook at me and complain about my BA degree, not even saying that he's proud of me like any other parent. I'm not even expecting an apology because I've never heard him in my entire life say "I'm sorry" to ANYONE.

[Adam (birkin)]

I can relate so much to your family stuff, Bandors. There are men in my family who refuse to apologize for anything either, even when they were clearly in the wrong.

[King Malachite]

I told my mom I found a penny today and she goes on to say "I heard that if you find a penny and if it's face up, then it's good luck, but if it's faced down"

I told her sharply to stop right there because I don't want to hear it, but she ignores my request and continues.

"it's bad luck"

As an extremely superstitious person that has a lot of bad luck in my life, that was the LAST thing I need to hear.  Now it will constantly be on my mind and if I find a penny that's tails up, I'll be waiting for the unlucky thing to happen to me.  UGH!! I would have much rather walked home than for her to tell me that.  She said she found four pennies, but because they were on tails, she didn't pick them up.  The cynical part of me thinks she wanted to act evil and continued to tell me even though I begged her not to, was to feel better about herself for leaving the change on the ground.  As the saying goes, "misery loves company".

I told my mom that I have a bad life already so I really didn't need to hear that.  She asked what is so bad about my life, because I have a job, but I didn't want to talk about it.  I asked her what if I told her that if you found $100 bill on the ground, that it's bad luck if it's on the face but good luck if it's on the tail and if she found $100 bill on the ground heads up would she leave it because it's bad luck and she replies "that's different".

Yeah, she wouldn't leave it on the ground. Money is money.  Whether it's a penny or $100, it still spends.  With paying for my top surgery out-pocket, it would be foolish to leave a penny on the ground.  My bad luck started in 1992, when I was born....

[immortal gypsy]

Bandors I'm still giving my father the silent treatment after ten years the first three we where living under the same roof and family holidays, like you I'm waiting for that apology.  Parents may say it's my house my rules, but rules are always made to be broken.

[Marcel]

I can relate so much to your family stuff, Bandors. There are men in my family who refuse to apologize for anything either, even when they were clearly in the wrong.

Yeah, my dad is exactly like that and I don't expect him to give an apology.

Bandors I'm still giving my father the silent treatment after ten years the first three we where living under the same roof and family holidays, like you I'm waiting for that apology.  Parents may say it's my house my rules, but rules are always made to be broken.

I see. Parents and I aren't American born so it's a little more complicated.

[Adam (birkin)]

My bad luck started in 1992, when I was born....

1992? Whaaat? You're as old as my younger brother! o.O I don't know why that messes with my head so much lol. I hear about 1992 kids and I'm like "what you're just a baby."

[King Malachite]

1992? Whaaat? You're as old as my younger brother! o.O I don't know why that messes with my head so much lol. I hear about 1992 kids and I'm like "what you're just a baby."

Lol I have 8 more years until I'm 30.  I'm pretty old.  :p

[Marcel]

1992? Whaaat? You're as old as my younger brother! o.O I don't know why that messes with my head so much lol. I hear about 1992 kids and I'm like "what you're just a baby."

Funny, I'm also born in 1992.

What caused me to be depressed was thinking about what would happen once I do start taking hormones, I'm a bit fearful of my life, being alone with no one to love and the looming prospect of losing a family despite them really being a pain in my rear.

[Charley Bea(EmeraldP)]

The usual, depression is hitting me hard, some dark thoughts are creeping back in, feeling like an annoying nuisance, feeling lonely and hating it. Also just in general hating myself.

[CalmRage]

my depression has gotten much worse over the last few weeks.

doesn't help that i'm even dreaming about the event that upset me.

but i suspect there's another reason why its gotten worse.
which is because of my dad. relations have gotten cold again due to his scumbag nature and me disproving his lies. HE broke off contact this time around.

i've been more than a little off lately, i know that. every day is just the same old mess. every other day i dream of the intolerant people who tried to ruin my life and wake up pissed off at everyone and everything. i've been quite grumpy lately and just tired of everything. it's just sad that we can't get along together. it's a damn shame. i'm tired of him. he had his billion chances. death on two legs, don't bother me any longer.

[King Malachite]

I had to work a long shift today and therefore missed out on seeing a prophetess I've been wanting to see for a long time.  I had to come in over an hour and a half late. 

[V M]

Neck and back are playing up which of coarse triggers a migraine and nausea and sleep issues