What made you unhappy today? 5.0

[Adam (birkin)]

People who do jobs like yours are increasingly relevant in my life, and I want to say that even if your client can't thank you it's still really important. There is so much turnover with aides and attendants and skills trainers that we usually just don't have help because it takes so long for any given person to get used to my kid and able to read her cues to know if she's about to dart off or hit or scream or eat something she shouldn't. When anyone can help her do anything without my presence, she feels more competent and I get to feel more like a separate human in my own right. You deserve way higher pay than people in your position typically get.

Thanks Felix. I try to constantly put myself in the shoes of the family of the person...people tell me not to do that, that you get too attached, but I feel like I have to in order to do my job well. I've met the parents of a lot of my clients (or sometimes sisters, uncles, guardians, what have you) and I know how much trust it takes to place your child in the care of someone else, no matter what age they are. I hope to stay with the agency I'm with for a long time, overall the coworkers are great and it's not that bad of a job most of the time. The pay is OK, I'm not complaining but it would still be hard to make it on my own on it.

Those who fill those kinds of job fields deserve more than what they make in terms of financial rewards, and perhaps even that isn't enough. So many families and especially the parents are saddled with a huge burden, so emotionally and financially draining that those who take on the job of spelling them for awhile to give them a break deserve to be nominated for sainthood.

lol well I wouldn't go that far...some of the people (coworkers) that I work with can be very selfish and don't have the clients' best interest at heart. Two people got canned today right in front of me, which terrified me, but I can see where these people might not have been taking on the responsibility that they should have.

[Shantel]

lol well I wouldn't go that far...some of the people (coworkers) that I work with can be very selfish and don't have the clients' best interest at heart. Two people got canned today right in front of me, which terrified me, but I can see where these people might not have been taking on the responsibility that they should have.

Guess it's a good exercise in "It's not all about you!" You'll be doing fine, stressful as it is, if you take care of them you'll reap the rewards and realize your own goals. Proud of you hon!

[Adam (birkin)]

I don't know why, but I feel uncomfortable around the girl who I think is a lesbian. I am not homophobic...I think part of me feels bad because you can tell she wants to be one of the guys. Just socially, not physically lol. And I try to include her but it's pretty obvious the men relate to me differently, as a man, than they do to her.

Additionally I think I also feel afraid to accidentally offend her somehow. God knows why, I spent enough years living as a lesbian to know how to not the offensive.

Either way it makes me feel guilty and nervous. How hilarious would it be if she was straight?

[King Malachite]

My sister taking advantage of my drunken mother by letting her sick children spend a night here....

[Felix]

I don't know why, but I feel uncomfortable around the girl who I think is a lesbian. I am not homophobic...I think part of me feels bad because you can tell she wants to be one of the guys. Just socially, not physically lol. And I try to include her but it's pretty obvious the men relate to me differently, as a man, than they do to her.

Additionally I think I also feel afraid to accidentally offend her somehow. God knows why, I spent enough years living as a lesbian to know how to not the offensive.

Either way it makes me feel guilty and nervous. How hilarious would it be if she was straight?

I've been more awkward with lesbians (and apparent lesbians who might be straight) since transition for some of the same reasons.

It's only been today for an hour, so I can easily say that nothing made me unhappy today.

[Emily.T]

A swap meat! 

Lol Shantel

[Emily.T]

I was in the doctors waiting room today and one of my cousins walked in, I wasn't acknowledged at all it's like I don't even exist any more.

[Edge]

Huge amount of dysphoria that makes me want to yell.
I had a dream with my family in it. Oddly enough, there was an actual setting and plot to the dream that never happened in real life, but my family showed up to act like my family anyway and strangers in the dream acted like them too.

[Adam (birkin)]

I hear about so many trans men that date people (especially girls) who don't see them fully as men. Seems to happen mostly early in transition but it just seems like selling yourself short.

[Jboggs]

Knowing that I live in a state where I can't really be me and can't afford to move so I can be the real me.

[Allyda]

Knowing that I live in a state where I can't really be me and can't afford to move so I can be the real me.

Are you still in West Virginia hun? I haven't seen you on here in a while. I ask because I posted to a comment in a thread of yours concerning West Virginia's, er, well, uniqueness back in February I think. I thought you would have moved. Just curious.

Allie

[V M]

One of my nephews passed away, he was only about 30 years old    Granted, he had ignored me for the past few years because I am still semi disowned by my family, but it still makes me rather sad

[rosinstraya]

Stupid foot injury (most likely plantar fasciitis) is stopping me from running properly and hurts like $&$&; after getting up. So, off to the doctor we go...first time in, oh, 7 weeks. Almost a record.

[Blue Senpai]

Internet kept going on and off so I couldn't do much.

[Jboggs]

Unfortnately Allyda I am still here. Trying to get out of here. Things just aren't falling into place like I had hoped.

[Allyda]

Unfortnately Allyda I am still here. Trying to get out of here. Things just aren't falling into place like I had hoped.

Sorry to hear your still stuck there. I really feel for you cause I know how hard it can be if your TG living there. I know I lost everything trying to get out of there. Please know you have all my hopes in getting out of there soon.

Allie

[Felix]

Reading old email. I've been increasingly okay and content for years, and I had forgotten why my bar for happiness is so low in the first place. I had forgotten how much more of a person I used to be. I used to be creative, and I had a sense of humor, and I had friends, and I had adventures, and I tried to learn from everything. Even when life was really bad I was pretty normal in my reactions to the circumstances. I was emotive and sane and determined and I kept myself whole for a long time.

What I've become since then isn't bad, but I maintained my functionality after breaking by building onto just the retained basic infrastructure of who I was before. Who I am is intentional now, and not particularly subtle or complex except where I've plowed through bad thoughts to retrieve specific parts of myself that I remember and don't want thrown away. I do the things that I have to do. I have the same ethical views I always had. I still like to eat beans and rice, and I still sleep on my side, and I still love science, and I can still put my feelings into words, but I'm not all here yet. Every drop of my being is focused on being safe and healthy and normal most of the time. I'm okay with doing that, but reminders that I was ever anything else are triggering.

I need to not so obliviously check old accounts in the future.

[EchelonHunt]

Felix, I can relate to that - you're not alone!

What made me unhappy today? Realizing I am very, very poor at handling stress. I'm already a week behind Uni and I have a commissioner who is demanding 10-12 artworks to be completed within two weeks instead of the original two month deadline.

Throw all my dysphoria, errands for family, appointments for cochlear implant mappings and having to sacrifice study time to do the commissions which will most likely put me even further behind Uni than I already am... I am ready to cry.

[LordKAT]

Felix, I can relate to that - you're not alone!

What made me unhappy today? Realizing I am very, very poor at handling stress. I'm already a week behind Uni and I have a commissioner who is demanding 10-12 artworks to be completed within two weeks instead of the original two month deadline.

Throw all my dysphoria, errands for family, appointments for cochlear implant mappings and having to sacrifice study time to do the commissions which will most likely put me even further behind Uni than I already am... I am ready to cry.

Sounds like major over load. I hope the implant stuff is over soon so you have more time to dedicate to your art work.

[Eris]

I have black hair and for most of the time black facial hair (for now *glares at remaining beard*).
However every once in a while my hair partially turns ginger. Sometimes in the summer I get streaks to either side of my fringe, more often it's throughout my facial hair.

I went for my second session of laser on Friday and on Sunday I noticed that some of my facial hair had turned ginger in the intervening time (or perhaps more likely, had previously been hidden by the black). I'm irked because laser isn't going to make a dent in this and I'll probably also have to undergo electrolysis afterwards.

I'm not sure why this happens, is it an exposure to sunlight thing?